Wednesday, May 31, 2006

good times...

when i can STILL hearing YOU flappin' and yappin' while Iron Maiden is BLASTING in my ears on my iAudio and Bruce Dickinson is wailing his hot little hiney off... it is time to SHUT THE FUCK UP, yo. no one is interested. no one but YOU and your busmate give a rat's ass about whatever it is you're saying. YOU even managed to drown out the high pitched squeal of the bus' motor as your voice spikes overtop ever possible frequency.
just. shut. the. fuck. up.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

imagine that... another list...

Deserted Island Must-Haves
(Semi-Deserted and Rather Luxurious Island Must-Haves)

So imagine that you are going to be stuck on a deserted island for the rest of your life. Dun dun dunnn! You can bring three things from each of the following catergories. What would you chose to bring?


1. The Hobbit - Everyone needs Tolkien. And since its ONE book, I can't very well choose the five LOTR books. The Silmarillion would be another good choice, but it exhausts me to read an entire page in one sitting!!

2. Civilization and Its Discontents - This book changed my life. Sigmund Freud, although some would argue is full of shit, I would say that, amongst his own psychoses, he was a genius.

3. The Discworld Companion - To choose, one Terry Pratchett book would be most difficult, so therefore I would take the companion. This book outlines everything Discworld!


1. Opeth -Damnation

2. U2 - The Joshua Tree

3. Beethoven - Symphonies 1-9 Complete Recording (box set)


1. Mikael Akerfeldt - The singer for Opeth. Positively delicious to listen and watch. And who wouldn't want a death-prog metal singer on a deserted island??

2. Bono - Also wonderful to listen and watch. And, like the above, I imagine his conversations would never be dull.

3. Terry Pratchett - Author of the Discworld books and many others as well. His humour is frightfully amusing and I adore his work!


1. A Clockwork Orange - My favourite movie of all time. Malcolm McDowell is YUMMY!

2. The Godfather - This movie is #1 on IMDB for a reason, yo.

3. Metal: A Headbanger's Journey - Music, interviews, music!! I love this film.

I mean, my list, most likely, will change in a few weeks but there's where it sits at this very moment.

it IS easy being green! (or blue, purple, green & pink)

"hello, is this accounting?"
"please, can you tell me, is this accounting??"
"ok, this isn't funny. i need to speak to someone in accounting!"
"what is your manager's name???"
"#@*($#*!!" *bang! click!!*

oh, to be a frog.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

today's wish...

sometimes, it would be nice to become invisible and muted to everyone else. to blend into the background and just listen to the people around you and hear what they're saying. unedited. to be able to go through parts of life unnoticed and maybe see what or who would be affected by your absence. to not have to maintain the polite exterior that society expects of you.
would you want to hear what they say? im a realist. i think i already know what most people would say about me. sure, sure, there are the nice things. even some wonderful ones in there too.... but i know that im not always kind, im not always gentle. i have my moments of frustration and pain and anger; just like EVERYONE else. im hormonal, im emotional and im not good at hiding a lot of it, although i know i try.
im not always a big fucking ray of sunshine!

Saturday, May 27, 2006

chewing the fat...

1. Tell me something obvious about yourself.
i'm fat
2. Tell me something about yourself that I don't know.
i'm fatter than you think i am
3. What is your biggest fear?
becoming fat
4. Do you normally take the safe route or the shortcut?
whichever way is fattest
5. What is the one thing you want the most that you can't buy with money?
fat stuff
6. What is your most treasured possession?
7. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do the most often?
forgetting to pick up fat
8. Tell me something about you sexually that I don't know.
fatness is sexiness
9. Tell me something about you sexually that everybody knows.
i like fat girls
10. What is your favorite lie to tell?
that im not fat
11. Name something you have done once that you can't wait to do again.
get fatter
12. Are you the jealous type?
fat chance!
13. What is the one person, place or thing that you can never say no to?
fat is kryptonite, yo
14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
hugged my fat
15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be?
shake my fat
16. When was the last time you cried?
17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered?
fat o'clock
18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no shirt on?
im fat, of course!
19. Name something embarrassing you did while drunk.
gave a fat dance to a stranger

200th post...

a post

© vera

Friday, May 26, 2006

Can I finish my sentence, please?

He wore a tie every day. A young and handsome man with a shy smile. And yes, strawberry blonde hair. His name was Kevin. I saw him in several of my history classes over the course of the years but I never talked to him until my last year @ college when he took his seat in front of me in the lecture hall. Us, both history majors, had a healthy obsession for Dr. Marten's history classes but we had diametrically opposing personalities. Idle chit-chat before class was how it started. Actually, it started with me being my usual brazen self and asking "So?... like, why do you always wear a tie?" He laughed and revealed to me a beautiful smile, friendly eyes and a gentle voice. "I don't know. I guess I just really like them." "But no one *likes* ties… Is it b/c you're a Jehovah's Witness?" *ding ding ding* Wow, I got it right on the first try. I think I may have even impressed him with that bit of deduction. And it wasn't b/c I'm super smart or anything of the like, I just happened to have been tag-teamed on my doorstep a the week prior.

Our small talk turned into an occasional coffee in the Farside ™ pub/lounge on campus with lots of laughing and getting to know each one another. Strangely, we found that our families were entwined with one another's. He grew up 600km away from me and we've never met before our history classes together, but… please remain seated for this explanation, with all arms inside the cabin area... my grandmother's cousin's daughter married his mom's brother. It's funny just how small the world *really* is.

The occasional coffee turned into long phone conversations where no subject was left sacred and just enjoying each other's company. I had no idea that during this time his feelings for me had turned into something a bit more than what I had expected. We would hang out sometimes with my group of friends, he didn't have any friends, that I knew of, anyway. ("Group dating" I think they call it.) Sometimes we'd go out for coffee @ night and chat until wee hours in the morning. Good times. He bought a Dalmatian puppy that spring. He named it something in Klingon. I sympathized with the puppy. ;)

Okay, Kevin was an avid fan of the soap opera "Another World" (what can I say, I attract interesting sorts of people). He heard, one day, that the character "Cass Winthrop" was going to be at some grand opening somewhere in the city. "Well!!? Do you wanna go with me?" I looked around to make sure he was speaking to ME. "Uhhh, ok." And uhhh, we went. He bought me a huge, yellow, stuffed bunny rabbit with giant floppy ears and some chocolate. My Easter present. ("I thought you were JW?") So, we get to this three-ring circus event. And he is g-l-o-w-i-n-g, glowing. I thought it was rather sweet and endearing and in the other sense, I also thought it was a bit creepy. But he was having a fabulous time. Now, the funniest thing happened. All week, women (I say women, b/c about 99.9% of the pushing and shoving that was happening around me in the crowd was by over-hormonized middle-aged, fantasy-riddled stay@homes) had been putting their names into this glass drum in the hopes of having it drawn and chosen to have a wine & cheese afternoon with the "star" of the soap opera. Ten lucky winners and a guest would be escorted to the lounge of the newly built shopping centre and have a private one-on-twenty time with… errr "Cass". (Honestly, I don't know his real name. But I remember the name Cass. Maybe b/c it reminded me of porn star) The 9th name to be drawn was his. Eyes wide and positively beaming, just as though he was just handed the Emmy award for "best fan", he made his way through the seething, estrogen-intoxicated crowd.
"Cass" says into the mic. "I think you forgot your girlfriend!"

I'm like "Oh! Nooooo. N-n-n-nooo, I'm not his…"
Kevin motions me to follow him and says "Oh yah! C'mon!"
We head up to the lounge with the other lucky contest winners and I said "How many times did you put your name into that glass drum?" He says "Just once." Suuuuuure! We had a lovely time visiting with said soap opera legend. And like me, he is intrigued by the fact that my "boyfriend" is wearing this tie. That day's tie was a Looney Toons-special. Kevin traded his tie for "Cass'" sunglasses -a lovely pair of RayBan's, I might add- with the promise that "Cass" will wear the tie on the soap opera one day. Done. And I am not shitting you, a few month's later (I was spying on the show to see if he would keep his word) I saw Kevin's tie around that guy's neck. It made me smile. I digress.

The year was beginning to draw to its close and from here we would settle on the universities of our choice. My application had been sent to the U of Alberta and the U of Calgary and he only applied to the U of Lethbridge. My decision to apply to the two schools was more of a CYA strategy. My school of choice was the U of Calgary! I had been DREAMING of going to the U of C since I was in 9th grade. Mostly, I think, b/c it was one of the furthest universities away from "home" w/o being out of province or out of recognition status. My summer employment would take me to Calgary and Kevin's back to Edson. We both worked as summer students in the oil & gas industry. I didn't realize @ the time that he was disappointed that I didn't apply to Lethbridge. But, well… I am kind of clueless when it comes to boys. We wrote letters over the summer to each other. Yes, he had the handwriting of a serial killer. A very neat serial killer. His would always end with "Love, Kevin", which I thought was a bit sweet. Still clueless. In early August the "kicker" letter arrived. "By the way, I wanted to let you know that I applied to the U of C at the last possible moment and just received my acceptance letter in the mail this week. How exciting that we'll be going to the same school. You'll have to send me your class schedule and see if we'll be registered in some same classes."

Oy vey! I felt horrible. As some of you may know, I'm *slightly* flakey. But back then, I was rather reckless with my decisions and a bit whimsical. I had received my acceptance letters from both universities. I had pre-registered with the U of C and had already arranged my class schedule. I didn't even look into the U of A's class schedule or course offerings... but one day I was bored @ lunch and flipped through their Faculty of History catalogue and saw some brilliant and intriguing classes. The more I read, the more skeptical I became of my first choice. Was the U of C important to me just b/c of geography? I made some inquiries to my financial granting officer and then to the U of A. I had only a few days left to follow up with them before I could register my classes. Panicking, I made my phone calls and realized that I could easily alter my school of choice. There were a billion other details to worry about but I felt very strongly that I was making the right decision. I didn't know that my decision would affect my life SO much, and I didn't know how much it would affect others' as well.

Segue back to the letter and my feeling of utter disappointment. Would I have changed my mind and remained @ the U of C if Kevin had told me he had applied there? Probably not. As whimsical as I can be, I can also be just as stubborn and narrow-minded once I get an idea in my head. Besides, how was I to know, until that very moment, that there may have been more feelings from him towards me. Who was I, that someone would change their own directions in order to follow? Until that moment I hadn't realized how much he cared for me. I wrote back and apologized. I feared he would be angry with me or worse, he would never speak to me again. I told him that I had planned my life and my entire college course options specifically for the U of C but at the last moment, like him, I had become tempted by another university. He wrote back and told me he understood. That he was happy for me and that although he was disappointed, he was happy that I was excited about going to the U of A. He then called me before I left Calgary to move up to university in Edmonton. "I'm really sad that we're not going to the same school." "I am too. But we'll keep in touch, write letters, call and maybe even drop in on each other once in a while." "True." And we did. We called each other quite a bit. He wrote me funny letters filled with his silly ideas. "We'll marry rich people, both you and I. I'll find me a sugar-momma and you find yourself a sugar-daddy, but we'll secretly have each other" He was a bit silly that way.

We hung out on New Years Eve that year. I drove down to Calgary with a group of friends and we celebrated "First Night" on the downtown streets of Calgary. He drove me back to my cousin's house and we sat around and talked on the couch while he rubbed my feet. We played this D&D trivia game with my cousin and his now-wife and lost by an obscene amount of points.

Mid-spring he was going back to school in Calgary for final exams after visiting with his family and called me. "I'm 45 minutes from your house, will you be home this evening?" "Of course, come on over!!" We sat and visited. I still remember the way he was looking at me. I still remember as he hugged me goodbye, the way his hand felt as he ran it through my hair. And how that day, he wasn't wear a tie.

He continued to write me letters. But they got shorter and shorter. Less personal. Indeed, more distant and unfocused. I asked him several times. "Kevin? Is everything alright?" He would say "Yes, everything is fine." Of course, I didn't believe him. How many more times could I have asked? Many many more, I tell myself. Many more. Until you get the right answer? No, until you get an honest answer. What a terrible friend I was. "I just miss you" he would say, or "I'm just a bit lonely."

I went home for Christmas holiday for about 2 weeks that year. One afternoon, I answered the phone and it was one of my Mum's closest friends. I was ready to pass her off to my Mum when she said "No hunny, I called to talk to you." I was a bit confused. "Oh? What's up?" She says "Do know Kevin (insert last name here)?" "Oh yes!! Yah, I do!" "I'm sorry to tell you hunny, but Kevin died last night." I dropped the phone and fell to my knees. Completely numb. My mum rushed over to me, she picked up the phone and asked Brenda what had happened, if everything was ok. I could hear the echo of her voice in my head but I couldn't connect the words together, my mind was spinning into a vortex of shock. Kevin? Not my Kevin. Surely she has the wrong person. No. She's wrong. It's someone else, for sure. I sat on the floor shaking. How? That's the question that was screaming in my mind. How did this happen? Where? Was he driving back to Edson for holiday and got into an accident? Was he struck by another car? What had happened? No. This wasn't my Kevin.

I took the phone from my Mum, "Brenda, what happened?" I asked her, my voice shaking and barely recognizable. "He took his own life, sweetie." Tears began streaming down my face.

No, no you didn't!! You didn't do it, Kevin!! How could you? Why would you? Where did you go?

NO! I can't believe it. I won't believe it.

"But… I don't understand, Brenda." Now, my body convulsing into heaving sobs.
My mother took the phone from my hands and asked her to call back in a few minutes.

Not my Kevin.


Later, in another conversation with her I would find out that he died from self-inflicted carbon monoxide poisoning. Apparently he used his car for his final resting place. Then, I was started to get mad.

Why? Why when I asked you did you not tell me?

His mother asked Brenda to contact me. Apparently he talked about me a lot and they had found my name in his papers. They found our letters. And they also knew that Brenda could get in contact with me as she lived in my home-town. Another odd sort of connection we had was that his mother's cousin was Brenda, Brenda is one of my Mum's closest friends, but whether they knew exactly *how* close the connection really was, I don’t know.

His funeral was to be just before Christmas. His family didn’t expect me to be there. The traveling conditions in northern Canada in the winter are horrendous and they didn't want me to travel in such weather. I regret not going. I regret not saying a proper goodbye. I regret a lot of things. What if I asked him one more time, would that be the time when he would have told me the truth about what was going through his mind? That maybe things were less than "fine". What could I have done differently to let him know how much I cared? Would that have made a difference?

All I know is that I miss you, dammit. And whenever I think of you sometimes all I can do is just cry b/c there's so much more that I wish I could have said to you. I wish you could have known exactly how much you meant to me and that even these long, long years later how much you being gone hurts me. And I'm angry. Why wouldn't you tell me? Why wouldn't you just answer me? Why didn't you talk to me. And I know this is selfish, but what you did was selfish too, dammit! You left without saying goodbye to me. You left without letting me finish my sentences. You left. And I don't know if it's you that I can't forgive or if it's me. I wanted more time, but you didn't allow me any. I wanted to know more of you, but you're no longer here. I wanted to tell you so much more than what I ever did. I just want to be able to finish the many conversations we didn't start...

Thursday, May 25, 2006

i have this theory...

...that there exists only FIVE very rich men in the world that own EVERYTHING. i like to refer to them as "The Pentastic Five™ "... every company, every product, every industry is linked to them *somehow*... i've been challenged by someone who said "no, its just ONE man". but one man couldn't possibly do all of that! he would never EVER be able to go to the loo!

now, it would be impossible to avoid The Pentastic Five™. And therefore, it would be moot to pick and choose products, or whatever, based upon these things; their fingers are in every conceivable industry. so here's my proposal. i try to shop locally or i try to shop "canadian". i know im only fooling myself. from my understanding "the great canadian superstore" is neither great nor canadian. i've been tricked! trickesdy little hobbitsesssss. sooooo, i try to make an effort in buying locally. at least i hope most of my dollars are going back into my own community. i choose canadian tire over wal*mart. ugh, i never shop @ wal*mart but im sure the guy that pwns the guy that pwns walmart pwns the guy that pwns canadian tire, so therefore, im a bit sol (and by sol, I dont mean sunny)... and im sure the dude that made the "vegan friendly" shoes is pwned by the same guy that supplies beakless chickens to kentucky fried chicken. he is also, most likely, the largest contributor to the PETA organization. i mean, these guys can afford to sleep @ night b/c they counteract their own ethical blunders. and sleep soundly, i might add. so where does that leave consumers? "the right to choose"? yes!! i have the right to choose which evil horn of The Pentastic Five™ will pwn me today!

(this blog entry started out as an answer to a question posed on another blog, thanks for the inspiration!)

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Watch This!

I am full of paradoxes. I work a "boring" job as an accountant which requires pragmatism, logic and patience, yet I am a kinda off-the-wall-air-headed and so NOT patient. I try to do my best to conserve energy, recycle and be a good steward of the environment, but yet I drive an SUV to haul my huge-ass dogs around. I hate commonality and structure but yet I live in the suburbs. I wear mostly black, brown and dark greens but my underoos are every selection of the rainbow. I am disgusted by most people in the world and would hazard to guess I have a strong to extreme hatred of them but love making new friends and learning different things from them. Heh… Maybe that was too much to reveal...
The point is that I know we're all full of these inconsistencies. Which is why hunting for my "perfect watch" this weekend while in Toronto was a bit ironical. I hate the concept of time. My watch on my wrist is more for fashion than for function. Yet, I searched the shoppes on
Yonge street for the perfect kick-ass watch. Something that said "I dare you to ask me what time it is!" Something similar to the uber kick-ass watch I purchased in Newport Beach a year ago. It had a thick wrist band that was double-notched and had silver stars stamped onto it. The glass face was arched with beveled edges and on the face itself was a double-lined star. Unfortunately, it suffered an ill-fate @ the bowling alley late last summer. R.I.P. Finally, at a kiosk in Yorkdale Mall I found an awesome new watch!! And then again, at the Bay, another one. Which do I choose? Both, of course. Black and dead sexy was choice number one. Brown and trendy was choice number two. Thank you Fossil ©.
So yah, what was I talking about again?.....

Monday, May 22, 2006

as promised!

here is my stress cow wishing be a safe flight and a good trip! as you can see, there's a bit of concern in his face, b/c he knows i hate flying... but that's what a stress cow is for... to worry for you and about you ;)

i had a great visit in the tee dot oh dot... *snork*, ok - i know - super ghey!
but!! as a westerener, and the whole "toronto is the center of the universe" thing... i was PLEASANTLY surprised to be greeted by friendly torontonians!! the city is incredibly beautiful with TONS of greenspace and huge ancient trees. stone/brick buildings with lots of amazing architecture and just this wonderful historic feeling. so much different than western canada and especially a newer city like calgary with few older buildings. and here is the gigantic canadian phallis... the CN tower! i even stood on the glass floor! i'm not terrified of heights *cough* -just the sudden stop @ the bottom!!

this is the super hawt rental-car, yo!! UNF!

this is ma girl! wheeee!
she took me ALL over the place... i got to see DeGrassi Street!! unfortunately, i didn't get a picture of it. blergh. but it was beautiful. **everybody wants something they'll never give up!! everybody wants something, they're take your money... and never give up!!** i got to see part of the eastern beaches and huge lake ontario, which is more oceanic than lake-ish... we ate dinner on yonge street (the longest street in the world) @ baton rouge! yummy! i so need to go there again!!

although the trip was short, it was SOOOO awesome!! cheryl, you are a FABULOUS tour-guide, as always!! i'll be back soon! xoxox!

i found one...

here's an "H" when you really don't need one...

Friday, May 19, 2006

'tis but a flesh wound

this is vera, reporting -on location- from the tee dot oh dot, with late, but breaking news...

hmmm, maybe i should say late but lacerating news...

upon my arrival into toronto, a bumpy and nauseating experience i might add, i was greeted by my best friend with a warm and welcoming hug. excitedly we exchanged pleasantries and then she decided to inform me that we needed to "go to the hospital"... while disembarking from the transit bus she flipped on her flip-flops and her knees met the curb with incredible force not only scraping it quite nastily, but ripping it entirely open by about 2 and 1/2 centimetres!! her blood stained pant-leg was more than enough for me to see in order to agree that, YES, we did indeed need to go to see the doctor. finding the rental car office we had a lovely chat with the rental-car-dude and he gave us a free upgrade from a chevrolet cobalt to a pontiac G6 -pictures to soon follow- sweet!! a small detour back to her place to drop suitcases off and let her dog out, we proceeded en route to the nearest hospital... where that would be, we didn't know!! toronto is a huge city and in this huge city, you'd *think* they would have sufficient signage to find any hospital at all, at any time and at any point within the city. "there's no H!" "i can't see an H anywhere!" finally, after asking some very nice passer-bys @ approximately 01:54 we found the elusive H and a nearly deserted emergency room. she checked into triage and then we were called in to wait inside the inner sanctum of the ER. surely soon we would see a doctor and get back to her place to get a restful sleep. an hour and half later she finally gets called into the see the one on-call physician to get 3 beautiful stitches! erm... i will not mention that i almost passed out from seeing the laceration in her left knee. if you've never seen the internal workings of a knee, you just might not want to either... *turns white*... we arrived back at her place around 04:00... the sun beginning to rise, we went to bed and rested... what an adventure!!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

you're home... FINALLY!!

so the last night my baby came home...
i promise to love it, cherish it, take care of it and be a good mommy!
how can i not??
i mean, just LOOK at this face!!!...
welcome home Nikon D50
momma will be good to you!

Saturday, May 13, 2006

whatever it is that you think i am, you are wrong. whatever perceptions you have of me, you are wrong. i will change at the blink of an eye just so you don't know me. i will be something you never thought i could be, just so you wouldn't recognize me. i will never be something you can predict unless i want you to be able to predict me. maybe my coldness would give it away. maybe if you could see that i feel nothing, that would give it away. instead i function behind this veil to shroud the things that don't exist. instead i hide the things that i do not have. the hollowness in my soul does not echo a pain that needs to be comforted. comfort is not what i seek. i seek nothing. i feel nothing. i. am. nothing.

Monday, May 08, 2006


Would you do it over again? I always say "No". I am who I am now because of the way things have happened. I cannot change the past and my future seems to already be written by the decisions I make today. If that's the case, then why think about doing it over again? Mostly, I think humans are masochistic sods that enjoy the torturous game of "What-If". It is rarely to look back and say: "Well, now that was interesting, what can I do better in the future to avoid that kind of outcome again?" What-If is dangerous. I know. I've spent some time down that road, living a life in the parallel universe where the decisions I made were different and "better". Or, so I thought. Why think about doing it over again? The reality I chose wasn't one where I wanted to be? That's ridiculous. I'm not sure if doing it over would solve, relieve, make-right anything that has happened. In fact, it could end up inadvertently hurting someone more or someone else in the process. So, as for the January 15, 1999 incident [previous blog entry], I don't think it would be wise for me to pick that date. There are too many people that would be affected by the changes I could make in order to "right" a situation. Perhaps the situation was right all along.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

this one was fun!

1. When was the last time you had sex?
last night in my sleep... kinky, i know...
2. How do you flush the toilet in public?
with my foot
3. Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
4. Do you have a crush on someone?
5. Name one thing that you start to get tense about if you are close to running out of it?
toilet paper
6. What famous person do you (or other people*) think you resemble?
i'm rather unique
7. What is your favorite pizza topping?
pepperoni, green pepper, mushrooms & onions or ham and pineapple
9. Do you crack your knuckles?
no, imma wussy!
10. What song do you hate the most when it gets stuck in your head?
star-trekking by the firm. b/c it stays for DAYS and DAYS!
11. Did just mentioning that song make it get stuck in your head?
nein! i have powers to resist such... there's klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow! there's klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, jim! -bastids!
12. What are your super powers?
i dont have super powers... i have uber powers!
13. What is the hardest thing you have faced?
top of the list: loss of a loved-one... and then learning to love who i am...
14. Where are your car keys?
they'll find me later
15. Whose answers to this questionnaire do you want to hear?
answering that question would be like digging a grave, so i'll stick with my usual answer: terry pratchett
16. What's your most annoying habit?
always being right
17. Where did you go on your last vacation?
U2 concert in Vancouver last April/May
18. If you could punch one person in the nose and get away with it who would it be?
dr. phil and then every other daytime talk show host [except ellen!!]
19. What is your best physical feature?
"physical" would be boobs, "facial" would be eyes -direct quote from a friend
20. What CD is closest to you right now?
Therion - "Vovin"
21. What three things can always be found in your refrigerator?
carrots, tomatos and some horrible cocktail drink someone brought over from a party but no one is willing to admit, take back or drink
22. What superstition do you believe/practice?
25. Do you talk on your cell phone when you drive?
rarely. im a responsible driver, yo!
26. What would your name have been if you'd been born the opposite gender? If you don't know what your parents would've chosen, what name would you choose for your other-gendered self?
i like the name noel
27. What song(s) do you sing most often in the shower?
stuff from joseph and the technicolour dreamcoat; U2 songs like "Running to Stand Still" or "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own" or today was "Leaving on a Jet Plane" and "He Ain't Heavy (He's My Brother)"
28. If you could go back or forward in time would you and where would you go?
january 15, 1999
29. What is your favorite Harrison Ford movie?
Raiders of the Lost Ark
30. What CD is in your stereo?
Jethro Tull - "Thick As A Brick"
31. What OCD qualities do you have?
none - i know, how boring... unless i haven't noticed anything, in that case, 3-D friends, please feel free to bring them to the round-table discussion...
32. How many kids do you want to have?
however many can fit on my bbq... i can freeze the leftovers...
33. If you could kiss anyone famous who would it be?
al pacino
34.Would you really want to kiss someone you didn't know, even if they are famous?
i have and would again but no visible signs of herpes simplex 2 and recent test results please...
35. What do you do when no one is watching?
36. If they made a movie about your life, what actor/actress would be the best for this job?
i would hire dawn french! but that's b/c she's a hot and rather confident appearing fat chick! rawwrr!
37. Would you rather die in a blaze of glory or peacefully in your sleep?
part of me wants to say in a blaze of glory, but that could be lots of fun until the dying part... so i default to peacefully in my sleep...
38. What candy, from when you were a kid, do you miss the most?
fun dip, neopolitan taffy, cinnamon toothpicks [seconded!] and grandma's rolaids
39. What is your favorite kid's movie?
pete's dragon
40. Favorite musician(s)/bands you've seen in concert?
U2 (4x)
41. Have you ever been in love?
42. Do you talk to yourself?
i always talk to myself, but i have never met yourself... ba dum bum! ok, you can slap me later...
43. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the face of the earth?
i would prefer to watch them fall into the center of the earth and set ablaze, melted and disintegrate into the molten iron core...
44. Would you steel [sic] from the rich?
what? and become one of them? theiving, rich, greedy bastards? nah... karma's a bitch, she can take care of that for me...

Saturday, May 06, 2006

a must see!

if you enjoy hilarious british films, i recommend this!
i saw this tonight and almost p'd my pants! its a good thing i didn't though, b/c that would have been uncomfortable and perhaps even chaffing would have been involved...

Friday, May 05, 2006

the earth is so fucking cool!

or should i say hot?

"Seattle, Washington (AP) -- If the skies are clear as forecast, volcano watchers who turn out for the reopening of the Johnston Ridge Conservatory on Friday will get a spectacular view of a hulking slab of rock that is rapidly growing in Mount St. Helens' crater.

It's jutting up from one of seven lobes of fresh volcanic rock that have been pushing their way through the surface of the crater since October 2004."

Read entire article here...

Chew-Chew... Chugga-Chugga

So, the Gum-Chewing-Cardiac-Arrest dude was on the bus the other day. I was standing and waiting for the express @ my usual stop, slightly later than normal, and I watch him walk down the street happily chewing an EatMore chocolate bar. And when I saw chewing, I mean chewwwww-innngggg (a la Forrest Gump runnnn-innnngg). Now, I know EatMore is a delightfully chewing candy sensation!! I am not one to argue! But once again, given this particular man's chewing history, I found myself smiling @ his obvious delight in his tempromandibular calisthenics.

The bus arrives. Again, I sit in my usual spot; back row, right-side corner and he sits directly next to me chatting with another bloke. Outside of the downtown core and beginning the drive up Centre street, The Chewmaster takes out a crossword puzzle and starts working on it. I'm "engrossed" in the Da Vinci code (insert sarcasm and make a note that this might be the topic of a future blog). I notice, at this point, the pen that was moving rather furiously next to me has become oddly still and that The Chewmaster's right leg has become rather heavy and sedate next to my own left leg. I glance up from my book and see that his eyes are closed and his breathing has become longer and deeper; he is dozing. His head bounces loosely with the movement of the bus and yes, he is CHEWING IN HIS SLEEP! Folks, I almost lost it.

Now I realize, that perhaps this is a medical condition. *Googling: Chronic chewing* Perhaps an auto-immune response to something not yet detected? Maybe he's dreaming of gum or EatMore chocolate bars? I figure, over a period of 20 minutes, the man must be burning 10 calories just chewing!

Now, to address the personal space issue. First off, one has to realize that on public transit there is no "personal space". Normally, If some twit was sitting next to me chewing, sleeping and leaning themselves on me, normally, they would get a nice sharp elbow in their side, but I think I mentioned before that he was a red-head.

Anyway, the point is… if you google chronic chewing you'll get a bunch of stuff regarding dog training, tobacco "chaw" related sites and the price of tea in China...

Thursday, May 04, 2006


...for all the botched collagen lip injections out there... the calista flockhearts & the goldie hawns... and of course the grunts... i salute you...
(they're wax! no lawsuits impending.)

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

dorky royalty


Monday, May 01, 2006

when apostrophes end...

i was just chastized for my "constant ignoring of the apostrophe"...
i have begun "operation phase-out" of the apostrophe!!
give it two years and itll be gone!

when friendships end...

its kinda weird when you get that feeling... you sense something just isn't clicking at it hasn't been clicking for some time... what do you do?
well, i know what i do...
i start "operation phase-out". and it isn't even an intentional thing at first! i start minimizing communication. i start minimizing confidences. i start minimizing contact. now this makes me sound cold, callous and that maybe i dont value friendships. UNTRUE! i would just rather have quality over quantity. if two people realize there is nothing left to give in a friendship, there's no real point in continuing, just let it die and be thankful for the memories. then there comes the moment when i realize im doing it and so i have to do some thinking; a lot of it. friendships are VERY important to me, i am not willing to discard any friends for any reason other than the obvious... sometimes, things, life, stuff, shit just happens...
and this has only happened b/w a few friends and i over the course of my 33 years... today, was the first time there has ever been a verbal acknowledgment of "operation phase-out"... i can't say that i was surprised @ the openness of it all. we haven't talked in over 3 months and i have been having dreams about her lately. of course, i'll always care about her so i thought i'd drop her a quick email, not even sure i would get a reply. "hi, how are you? hope things are going well. get back to me if you can." and she did. i was a bit surprised she replied today. but it was nice. we updated each other on what's been going on in our lives lately and then, it was weird, i mentioned the awkwardness that was felt and that i was sure she felt it too and that things have been going in a good direction despite those feelings. she wrote back and agreed and we had a few more exchanges about how sometimes things like this just happen and then... **poof**... that was it.
interesting, indeed. i feel no sense of loss, as "operation phase-out" has been going on for the last two-years. actually, when it first started i talked to my cousin's wife [a mutual friend] about it, she understood my reasons and it could have just ended at that time, but there's something to be said about the natural order of things. and although it was a conscious decision made a while back, i wasn't willing to just dismiss the entire thing b/c i believe that things can change over time. the door, i have to say, is never closed to her, you never know where life might take you, but it kinda ended with a "see you around some time..." but i know it wouldn't ever be b/c either of us made an effort to do so and i feel ok with that...