Happy Birthday Kev!

Happy Birthday to Kev!!
Wow! Man, you're OLD!!!
I hope you have a marvelous day!!

<3 U,
Vera

birthday weekend

do you ever have that feeling... that sometimes, you *really* JUST DO belong?

that was my weekend. i had friends come in from out of town for a birthday weekend extravaganza... we dished, we dyed, we drank... it was Phun!

my hair now has a fabulous cranberry/ruby red streak in the middle. bold and subtle at the same time!... i now know the benefits of vodka and pineapple juice... erm... herbal breaks are sometimes necessary!

the best part was just hanging out with people that i felt comfortable being around, being myself... now comes the detox... its like a drug... a euphoric feeling... now i have to come down off this high and detox from the drug that is Phun...

33

this is me @ 33...

now they've gone and done it...

on january 23rd canadian citizens elected The Devil (tm)... the conservative party of canada now holds a minority government in the house of commons. can you say BLERGH? no wait. can you FUCK ME?! ugh. although guised as a progressively conservative government with traditionally conservative fiscal values, it doesn't fool me one bit. anyone is better than the conservatives. anyone! so the liberal party has been wrought with scandal and deception. i understand this is terrible. but under the directive of jean chretien, c'mon people... would you expect ANY less from this "man"? however the liberals can bring to the table way more than the conservatives can... especially in terms of social progress... and im not even a liberal supporter!... i hope that the minority government will not be in power long enough to sustain any damage, but you never know...
regardless, yesterday was a sad day in canadian politics... here come the dark ages...

Playlist 1

Everyone is blogging about their playlists. I've been 'tagged', so to speak, to do a list for me… I can't really rate songs in an order of TOP TEN GREATEST hits by Yours Truly. Here are some things of which I am currently listening:

"Isolation Years" - by Opeth from the album Ghost Riveries
"In My Time of Need" - by Opeth from the album Damnation
"Holiday" - by Greenday from the album American Idiot
"Fade Into You" - by Mazzy Star from the album So Tonight That I Might See
"The Last Day of Winter" - by Pelican from the album The Fire In Our Throats Will Beckon The Thaw
"I'm Not Okay" - by My Chemical Romance from the album Three Cheer For Sweet Revenge
"Beyond Within" - by Nevermore from the album Dreaming Neon Black
"Black Rose Immortal" by Opeth from the album Morningrise
"Dark Chest of Wonders" - by Nightwish from the album Once
"Cold Victim" - by Thine Eyes Bleed from the album In The Wake of Separation
"Warheart" - by Children of Bodum from the album Hatebreeder
"Echoes" - by Pink Floyd from the album Meddle
"Devil By My Side" - by David Usher from the album Hallucinations
"Inside Out" - by Feist from the album Let It Die
"Black Seeds of Vengence" - by Nile from the album Black Seeds of Vengence
"Black Sun" by Therion from the album Vovin

I'm not going to list why I love them or what they're about, my endorsement is enough to make you interested... heh, and if you're not, thazok...

**Need more Opeth, CoB, Therion, Pink Floyd!! Haha!

milestone... i think not... heh

its another same digit birthday coming up... *whispers* thirty three... my fucking gods, how did i ever get this old? yah yah, i know... it isnt supah old. im fortunate that, as for my physical age, i still remain quite young in a lot of ways... which makes the turning years a lot less daunting... i enjoy my age alongside my youth... they have managed to co-exist w/o too much suffering or debate...

what happened with me in the last year... let's recap, shall we?

january - ermmm... snowed lots... (i think)
february - trip to san francisco
march - trip to disney
april - trip to vancouver & U2 concert
may - concrete patio and fence
june - visit from kev! i planted flowers but they died
july - bluddy hot again, trip to edmonton
august - started new job!!
september - ... life ...
october - ...recuperating from busy spring hibernation mode setting in...
november - ...hibernating-i-hate-people-mode on full...
december - christmas with family & granddad died

for my 33rd year...
-planning a trip overseas... iceland or italy... note: must save $ and holiday time!!
-planning to visit family more this summer... possible 15 year reunion with friends from HS, not full-fledged reunion with everyone, just closest HS friends...
-drink more beer
-put lawn in the back garden
-plant some damn fucking trees eh!?
-erm, clean my truck at some point in the year
-paint interior of house... note: pick out colour chips... something neutral and classic...
-uhmmm, FINALLY hang up sheers in front room and put curtains in rec room
-purchase another harddrive!!
-listen to more music
-figure out what to do with front garden and crappy flowerbed

its a nice list... wish me luck!!

Suggested topic for blog: The Perfect Birthday

Waking up late in the morning to breakfast in bed.
Breakfast consisting of a pancake with maple syrup,
hashbrowns, toast, bacon, poached egg, orange juice,
coffee and iced water. Now, waking up in a cabin in
the woods on a lake somewhere. A fire crackling and
the little windows iced up and frozen. Cozy. Then
taking the dogs for a long walk on the beach, playing
fetch and enjoying the breeze off the lake and the sun
shining brightly. Arriving back to the cabin to
discover friends and family have dropped in for a
visit. Making tea & coffee, listening to some soft
music, talking & laughing, just sharing in each
other's company. Dinner started on the stove. A
giant pot of chilli, fresh baked bread/buns and
salads. Playing silly games, watching the fire, going
through old photographs watching giant flakes of snow
coming down into the night making the landscape fresh
with new beginnings. Things quiet down and the fire
is stoked up for the night. Laying on the bearskin
rug in front of the fire, falling asleep to the
flicker and crackle of the flames, hugging, cuddling,
snogging, snuggling, petting, snoring...

random

so i've been a bit stumped lately as to what the fuck to blog aboot. dont get me wrong, i have ideas! i have a million thoughts racing in my head at the same time. its just the content of such thoughts might worry some of the viewers. *cough* really. also, recent articles i have read have pointed to people being investigated/fired/etc for the content of their blogs... what we need is a bit of ANARCHY to scare the white haired politicians into relaxing a bitsy, eh? so to blog about "safe" matters... meh! i dunno. not impressed with a lot of things recently. in no particular order:

• current canadian federal election

we are dealing with basically the lesser of the 3 (4) Evil Party Leaders (tm). I hate them all. Paul Martin is a sham & a liar. Steven Harper is the Devil. Jack Layton reminds me of a pr0n star. Gilles Duceppe (the explanation is in the name). meh. they all suck. who to choose? do i even HAVE to choose? i've been talking about my democratic DUTY to vote for so many years. could i even go against my own rantings?

• censorship

see above for a bitsy information on this. i mean, we ALL rant! we all say things in the heat of crap like "OH! he made me so mad! imma kill 'em!" but how often do these things get taken seriously? i know, i know. the time we dont take them seriously something happens. it still really yoinks my garter when we are constantly made to watch our step for fear of someone being offended... take this blog and shove it eh!

• my morning commute

do you ever look around you and get that feeling... *perhaps i just dont belong here* and then that silly song runs through your head "one of these things is not like the other... one of these things just doesn't belong..." yah, im like... one of those things. i got that overwhelming feeling this morning riding the bus into my corporate job... listening to some Dimmu Borgir... it was quite perplexing and maybe i just need to chew on that for a bit.

• the temperature of my office

jungle jane keeps the office temperature @ a balmy SEVENTY THOUSAND DEGREES! i swear the heat has induced early menopause. i dress for summer in the winter. and for swimming in the summer (scary thought for some). i try to compromise @ 21C but she is always moving it up. you could fry an egg on my in-basket.

• the price of grapes

i went grocery shopping yesterday and picked up a bag of red grapes. delicious! and they blooping my things through the scanner-ma-dooey and it bloops $10.63... ok. qu'est que le foc? i mean, i seriously better find a fucking diamond/sapphire/garnet/whatever in those grapes!

so yah...

my alignment

You scored as Chaotic Good. A Chaotic Good person is someone who has little intrinsic respect for laws or authority, seeing them as insufficient to sustain what's right. These people work according to their own moral compass which, while good, is not necessarily always aligned with that of society. Despite their chaotic tendancies, these people are good at heart. Chaotic Good 80% True Neutral 75% Lawful Evil 70% Chaotic Neutral 65% Neutral Evil 50% Chaotic Evil 45% Neutral Good 40% Lawful Good 35% Lawful Neutral 25% What is your Alignment? created with QuizFarm.com

cheryl made me do it...

what decade does your personality live in?


quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd

i told you to tell me to stop...

Entish


To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
brought to you by Quizilla

please tell me to stop!

A Wild Child
You like to have your freedom and do what you want
to do when you want to do it. You have no
trouble expressing yourself and you usally have
alot of random friends. You are a Rebel and
always stand up for what you belive in!


What kind of Girl are You? (With Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

...a moment

its being caught in an undercurrent. it pulls you under and doesn't allow you to breathe. the water pressing on your chest and filling your lungs. and you're grappling and struggling and clawing through the water. what good does that do? you're tossed and bruised against objects you can't see, forces you can't control and a direction you never set out to take. what started out as a careful testing of the water, a gentle, relaxing and enjoyable time turned into something indescribable, but an altogether dangerous experience. if you survive the deadly current your head emerges above water for that piercing gasp of breath. lungs burning. heart pounding. body exhausted.


...im not sure what is supposed to happen next. i dont think the current is quite finished with me...

soundtrack

this song has been running through my head constantly...

In My Time Of Need

I can't see the meaning of this life I'm leading
I try to forget you as you forgot me
This time there is nothing left for you to take, this
is goodbye

Summer is miles and miles away
And no one would ask me to stay

And I should contemplate this change
To ease the pain
And I should step out of the rain
turn away

Close to ending it all, I am drifting through the
stages
Of the rapture born within this loss
Thoughts of death inside, tear me apart from the core
of my soul

At times the dark's fading slowly
But it never sustains
Would someone watch over me
In my time of need

cope

sometimes its just easier to blog about silly things than it is to blog about serious things. obviously that's the same with real life situations. if you know me or if you've read further into my blog you will know that my granddad died on december 30th. i've been trying to "cope". fuck i really hate that word. i mean, what the fuck does it mean, REALLY?

cope
to contend or strive, especially on even terms or with success
to contend with difficulties and act to overcome them

blergh.

you have to carry on, i know. you have to move forward, i know. but there is never enough time. never enough time to mourn and carry on and move forward and "cope". to contend or strive, especially on even terms or with success. i dont see anything even about it. but it is just not the way i *want* to see it. i want there to be time! i want there to be honour! i want there to be mourning! i want this to pass but i want it to be fucking recognized!!!! not just swept away in the hurried steps of every day life. its too short. everything is too short. i know there cant be the shutting down of clocks... time cant be stopped, but that does not mean that i dont want it to happen. maybe im just being dramatic but there's this fear in me that he will not be remembered and im so scared that im going to forget him...

survey says...

this was taken from my friend ann's journal... i decided to answer the same questions she did...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

5. Do you like your handwriting? i used to have GREAT penmanship. now it pretty much sucks. when i CONCENTRATE, i can write quite well... i dont have serial killer handwriting, if that's what this question is getting @...

6. What is your favorite lunch meat? ham!! then turkey... or maybe roast beast... but ham is good... oh! and tuna!! tuna is good too... aged salami is nice... oh hell!

8. What is your most embarrassing CD? *runs & hides* Bette Milder... or as ann said: "Bette Midler does metal?"

9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? hellyah! well, i'd prolly annoy the ever-livin' shite out of myself... but that would make me more endearing unto me...

10. Are you a daredevil? calculated risks... imma crazy kinda girl, but when it comes to physical risks (ie: uncertain chance of survival) i'd say... "uhmmm... No."

11. Favorite Magazines? photolife & canadian (or national) geographic

12. Do looks matter? there needs to be a healthy level of physical attraction...

13. How do you release anger? cry with intent, clean, repress repress repress! lol, kidding...

15. Do you trust others easily? opposite of ann... cynical soul with a dose of trust...

17. What class in high school do you think was totally useless? CALM (Career & Life Management) plus... the teacher was very "shiny"

18. Do you have a journal? nah... that's considered "evidence", right?

19. Do you use sarcasm a lot? its mostly "sarchasm"...

20. Favorite movie(S): oh man... im a movie FREAK! but my all-time favourite is "A Clockwork Orange"

22. Would you bungee jump? CALCULATED risks... and i've calculated that my weight vs a bungee cord equals zero chance of survival...

23. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? yah, i have to with ma bewts...

24. Do you think that you are strong? *flexes and rips her shirt*

28. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? i can be uber critical...

8. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? scary movies i guess (from these choices)

55. What Books Are You Reading? i will be starting "the historian" shortly...

56. What's On Your Mouse Pad? ma mouse

57. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? southpark

59. Rolling Stones or Beatles? neither, thankyouverymuch

60. What's the furthest you've been from home? Montreal, PQ

another favourite

the new year

the new year has begun... one hour and a few minutes ago we blinked our way into 2006... and on the third day of the new year i will be burying my grandfather...
4:30am on december 30th my granddad died...
today i came back to my mum's house, only having spent 3 days @ home...
but i knew i would have to come back before the year ended. i was ready to return... i didn't put the suitcases away, i didn't unpack the dog's bag, i didn't hang up unused clothes nor put my toiletries away... i knew i would have to come back...
tonight we went through piles and piles of photographs of my granddad sorting them into categories for a video someone is making as part of the funeral service...
it was good to see him as he was... as i remember him... as he will always be in my head...
funerals will never be easy but i have this feeling inside me that this one will be peaceful... he will be laid to rest next to my grandmum and at last they will be together again... and i can just hear her right now saying "louis! what took you so long?" haha... i love my grandpa and i will miss him dearly...