Wednesday, December 28, 2005

100th post

the story of my life...

march of the penguins

i watched march of the penguins last night...
i highly recommend it...

this picture just says so much...

Monday, December 26, 2005


im up @ 210 in the morning, typing from my niece's laptop after spending christmas day with my family. it was a pretty good year this year, considering my granddad is dying... he's going to be 90 in february. 90. i just can't imagine living that long. we saw him on the way to visit for xmas and it wasn't a good visit. he didn't know me. he didn't know my cousin. he didn't say much and he didn't even acknowledge our presence. he just kept staring past us and through us or kept staring at the family portraits that lined his walls and filled up his bureau tops. i lost it about 5 times. his eyes glazed over and obviously victim to cataracts, his frail body of skin and bones... it was the hardest thing i have had to witness in a long while. i took myself out of the room upon the times where i just couldn't handle it anymore and the last time i looked on the wall above his name plate. there was my favourite picture of him. the photo was dated 1955, my granddad would have been 39 at the time. he was something else. tall. handsome. strong. i remember thinking about how i saw him when i was a kid. he was always so huge to me. so strong. he was an oak of a man. and i remember feeling that he was positively the strongest man alive. he knew everything about the outdoors. trapping, hunting, fishing, camping, EVERYTHING! he taught me how to make a whistle out of a willow switch. he built me, my sister and my cousin bows and arrows, treeforts, skating rinks, swingsets... anything he could think of or anything we would ask of him... he didn't say much with us grandkids... but i watched him... when he was with his friends; everyone listened to him. he laughed and told stories with such charm; he was always, at least to me, the life of the party. the time before last he was telling my cousin and i so many stories of when we were younger, when he was younger and a time that he seemed to never want to forget. given the quality of life he had, i can't say that i blame him. and this is how i love to remember him. not like he is now, where even since 2 days ago his condition has worsened... oxygen, iv, etc... refusing to eat... refusing to drink... i looked at him and thought 'grandpa, why are you still here? why have you hung on so long? where has this will come from?'... i love him so much and i hate to see him as he is... so i keep those memories fresh in my mind. the man that he is in my mind... just as my grandmother is... the best possible visions i have... the picture on the wall...

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

current mood:

Sunday, December 18, 2005


some xmas gifts from friends...


Saturday, December 17, 2005

Is Your Child A Goth? *laughing maniacally*

Is Your Child a Goth?
Presented by St. Mary's Church**

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone astray from the Lord. Gothic (or Goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and violence. Please seek immediate attention through counseling, prayer, and parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the following are applicable to your child.

-Frequently wears black clothing. [guilty]

-Wears band and/or rock t-shirts. [offensive shirts - guilty]

-Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nail polish. [guilty]

-Wears any odd silver jewelry or symbols. [guilty]

-Shows an interest in peircings or tattoos. [guilty]

-Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.) [guilty]

-Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically. [guilty]

-Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible, prayer, church or sports. [guilty]

-Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult, witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan. [guilty]

-Takes drugs. [only advil... the colours are bright enough]

-Drinks alcohol. [mmmmmmbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer]

-Is suicidal and/or depressed. [too unbored to be depressed]

-Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health center.) [kinky-sex-scars count?]

-Complains of boredom. [see above comments to suicidal]

-Sleeps too excessively or too little. [guilty/guilty]

-Is excessively awake during the night. [bladder issues :P]

-Demands an unusual amount of privacy. [define 'unusual']

-Spends large amounts of time alone. [and stay out!]

-Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your child may speak to evil sprits through meditation.) [wheeeee!! i am *not* alone... mwahahaha]

-Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult. [wait, i *am* the adult]

-Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a few examples of this. [see PLIF RULES! posting... Question all authority! Why should I?]

-Misbehaves at school. [or @ work. guilty]

-Misbehaves at home. [guilty ;) and naughty]

-Eats excessively or too little [pml! hulloh! FAT GIRL! guilty]

-Eats Goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this. [mmm... chocolately evulness!! WTF! now they're *really* going to be concerned about the contents of my freezer!]

-Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped immediately.) [erm... heh *blush*]

-Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your local church for proper programs that your child may watch) [does pr0n count?]

-Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature. [long live TSR!]

-Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer. [haha! so guilty]

-Makes satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music. [what's metal w/o an evil headbang???]

-Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner. [i just express an interest in installing a stripper pole in my bedroom. only a little guilty :P]

-Expresses an interest in sex. [GUILTY!!!]

-Masturbates. [SUPER GUILTY!!]

-Is homosexual and/or bisexual. [haha! what do you think??]

-Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include: Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism. [gotta cover all possible dieties.]

-Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases: "I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "and Im a Goth". [just ones that say "run along and die now".]

-Claims to be a Goth. [not guilty, they're just silly online quizzes]

If five or more of these apply to your child please intervene immediately. The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.

**Disclaimer: I'm dead positive the source of this document isn't directly from a Catholic School. However, in the event that it is... it's dead FUNNY!... I had to blog it b/c it was just too... INANE! *shakes head*

Which Romantic Comedy Heroine Are You?

Andie Anderson
You're Andie Anderson
(Kate Hudson - ('How to Lose A Guy In 10 Days')

You're smart, beautiful, and ambitious. You have
life going for you in every possible way.
You're true to yourself and to others. You may
make some mistakes along the way, but you don't
cover them up.

Your vintage styling and girl next door persona
makes you an instant trendsetter and everyone's

You feel just as confortable in silk and heels as
you do in blue jeans on the back of a Harley.
You're a wonderful friend, looking for ways to
bring sunshine and laughter to people's lives.
You take yourself seriously, but not too seriously.
You express yourself through a public medium,
encouraging feedback and honesty.

All in all you're the Ray of Light.

Which Romantic Comedy Heroine Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

a blonde's geometry test

hahaha! yes... i am a brunette...

dec 15th was a bad day

1.) melissa's dog needed to be put down... tatcho was a good pomeranian and will be missed. he had a good 16 years!!
2.) nahzy's grandmum passed away peacefully... my thoughts go out to her and her family...
3.) cheryl broke her arm taking her puppa for a walk...!!!

madness! full moon too... not that im supersticious [re: threes blog, etc] at all, it just... odd...

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Huppy Burfday Cheryl!

today is my best friend's burfday!!


Three Names you go by:
1. Prisoner #72669
2. Bish
3. Hoor

Three Parts of Your Heritage:
1. Native American
2. German
3. French

Three Things That Scare You:
1. Flying
2. Ebola Virus
3. Teachers that never retire

Three of Your Everyday Essentials:
1. lip balm
2. eye-glasses
3. anything black

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. long-sleeve black v-neck shirt
2. studded leather wrist band
3. black leather belt

Three of Your Favourite Songs:
1. Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd
2. Star Crossed - Arcturus
3. Isolation Years - Opeth

Three Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love):
1. mutual intellectual stimulation
2. passion
3. friendship

Two Truths and a Lie (in any order):
1. I want to live in Europe
2. I wish I was left-handed
3. I want to be an American Idiot

Three PHYSICAL Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You:
1. eyes
2. lips
3. hands

Three of Your Favourite Hobbies
1. stealing music off the internet
2. photography
3. sketching/drawing/doodling

Three Things You want to do really badly right now:
1. sitting around in my PJs listening to moosic
2. go for lunch and have turkey and gravy
3. burp very loudly

Three Places You Want to go
1. Northern Europe
2. Italy
3. Antarctic

Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. See Stonehenge
2. Shoot a breathtaking photograph or draw/paint a realistic
3. Pet the following: tiger, lion, bear (preferrably grizzly), penguin,
manatee, panda, tarantula, anaconda, bat

Three things that make you a stereotypical Girl/Guy:
1. I have long hair that I will never cut
2. I wear nail polish and love manicures and pedicures
3. I own way too many shoes, clothes and coats with handbags

Who would you like to see take this quiz
1. "God"
2. "Satan"
3. Terry Pratchett

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

she did it again...

"the bailer"... (better nick than "the 10 year old condom") she bailed on group lunch for a workmate's birthday... i think we've all taken the hint now and she is now off all future invites... lol, its just soooooo... meh...

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

The Nietzsche Personality Test Test

Last Pope
You scored 56% Temporality, 74% Strength, and 61% activity!

You are the last pope, who has realized that God is dead. You know very
well how to be reverent, and you know that your reverence was to
something that now is dead. You bear the deepest weight.

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 25% on Temporality
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 75% on Strength
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 87% on activity
Link: The Nietzsche Personality Test Test written by edwardevil on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

the kinkyness test

i am already certain of where i stand on this subject... haha, its still fun to quiz...

Kinky bastard!
Grats! You're 86% kinky!

Well well well, you kinky bastard! Most likely you're into some weird shit, which is always great. Consider mailing the author of this test, and keep up the good work ;)

The Kinkyness Test

The Very Offensive Religion Test

Holy Crap! You're taking -68 souls with you to hell!

-85 to -50

On the plus side: You dont believe all the religious dogma stuff. But you are open to the idea that there is much in the universe that cant be explained conventionally. You're open minded and easy going.

On the negative side: you may just be too cowardly or ill-informed or dispassionate to make a decision and stick with it about anything

The Very Offensive Religion Test

The Harry Potter Spell Test

Half Wizard
Fineto! You scored 54%!

Almost there! Like the students attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, you're a wizard (or witch)-in-training. Not bad. Not bad at all. I'm guessing that you enjoy the series like any other average Harry Potter fan. In terms of knowing the spells and such, perhaps you could study with Hermione. That girl (although Muggle-born, which I think is awesome since she seems smarter than the "pureblood" students of the school) knows what she's doin'. hehe. In any case, if you wanna talk with another Harry Potter fan, message me!

The Harry Potter Spell Test

Sunday, December 11, 2005


now, it generally takes me a long while to become friends with people... i mean, *real* friends... i am an uber private person and it takes a LOT of trust for me to open up. so its taken a while for me to establish some co-workers from the level of co-worker to workmate and even friend. i guess it might be like-circumstances that people fall into friendships with their workmates. i dunno. i really dont see a lot that i have in common with *most* of the people i work with. probably why i have few selected friends from work and why it has taken me many years to invite them into the chaos that is usually my life... anyway... its just weird. plans are made with people that i work with, that see me every day for 5 days a week and then i spend time on the weekends with them... doesn't that seem... ODD??? seems odd to me... would these be people i would pick for friends if it were not for work? i dunno, either... maybe not... maybe... they're lovely! dont get me wrong... i've got a great group of workmates!... meh, maybe i think about things too much...


i hate people that bail... KEEP YOUR FUCKING PLANS!... when you say you're going to go somewhere and do something just DO IT!! don't call a few hours before you're due to meet other people for something that was planned and say "i'm not coming!" just fucking show up and do it. i *hate* it when people bail and leave others either hanging and having to cancel plans or just pissed off... i have this friend who is always cancelling or not showing up, always saying she'll be somewhere and either not calling entirely or calling just prior to something to say she's not showing up... its getting to be frustrating and down right making me pissy! its come to the point where its SOOOO frequent i have nick'd her "the 10 year old condom" as she has become about as reliable as one... ya know, i've even taken into account that it might be some sort of agoraphobia! she doesn't want to be in a crowded theatre with people eating popcorn, or kicking her seat or whatever. ok, i understand that. its not like i rush out to enjoy the nasty habits of People(tm) either... but she'll suggest going to a bar as an alternative??? WTF??? where do you find People(tm) that are more annoying than a movie theatre?... DUH! a BAR! maybe she needs alcohol to deal with People(tm)... meh... bailers are teh suck!

Saturday, December 10, 2005

How Nerdy Are You?

I am nerdier than 79% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!

Friday, December 09, 2005

The Slut Test

now i don't consider myself to be a slut and i think that some of these questions are... erm, questionable...

here is the result after much scribbling, deliberating and uhmmm... adding...


Sunday, December 04, 2005


Saturday, December 03, 2005

Current Mood:

What Type Of Girl Are You?

You scored as Goth.





Nerdy Girl




Popular Bitch


Athletic Tomboy




Preppy Girl


What type of girl are you?!!

created with

Thursday, December 01, 2005

my new piece of artwork...

i bought this painting from a street vendor last week on a whim... i think its rather pretty... im not sure where i will hang it... its kinda funny, i know nothing of the artist... not even his name... note to self: find vendor and get his name... the street vendor is the artist, it shouldn't be too difficult, however, since we're buried in snow the only thing i'll know until next year is that his initials are J.L... at least i know it is an original!
they say that you can tell a lot about someone by the art that they collect... this would suggest that im pure as a white flower... pml... yah, right...
dimensions: 90cm x 60cm


QUOTE: "Actually, you have a very earthy slash hippy style of dress. It's really cool"

[Martin upon seeing my new striped scarf and commenting on how earthy it was]

dude. so not earthy! i wanna be "MENACING" and "TERRIFYING" no fucking tree hugger!!

now... imagine the above scarf MIXED with me carrying this purse... that's my jackie baby... i lurve my jackie baby... see... that's not earthy slash hippy!! its utterly menacing... be afraid!

The Reason Being...

I’ve had three friends who have had relatives die within the last month: Ann’s daddy, Elise’s step-father and Diane’s uncle. People often wonder what is the reason behind it all, right? We’re all told “things happen for a reason”. Has anyone figured out what that reason is? Is this just meant to placate us? Is that reason any more different for each of us or are we seeking the same reason? And what the hell was the question in the first place? “Why do people we love die?” Aside from the obvious biological reasons, is there any sense of REASON to death? I don’t think so. I think it just plain ole sucks!

Elise has been going through a mid-life crisis @ the age of 31. I have to say that I’ve gone through something similar beginning around the age of 29. It’s that whole thought that comes into your head, that sudden awakening… “WTF! How did I get *here *?!?!? (and where is my free toaster?) I think her mid-life has been brought on by the death of her step-father and now, the death of her wife’s uncle. Both deaths due to cancer. I have to say that I got through my whole crisis by rediscovering through myself what my passions might be and realizing them. As I’ve posted in previous blogs, I’m not defined by my career in life. I don’t go around saying… “Hello, my name is… I am an accountant.” and expect people to understand who I am by that statement. I’ve suggested to Elise that perhaps she needs to just look around and see what things that she enjoys and how to make them passions in her life to live alongside her career choice and support each other. To be quite honest, I am not your typical accountant. I go to work with leather armbands with studs and spikes in them, I listen to metal in my office, I say “dude” entirely too often, I am just ME in my environment. That’s all people should EXPECT of you. I take pictures, I draw, I watch horribly wonderful movies and listen to tons of music. I bounce around the halls at work, I swear too much, and I am also quite intelligent! I read history books, the dictionary at times, I read humourous fantasy novels and laugh out loud on the bus. I travel a bit and plan to a lot more! I just decided to ENJOY the journey that is my life and no worry about the reason why things happen. Love who you’re with, your family, your partners, you friends. Things might happen for a reason, the thing to focus on is that things … HAPPEN… Life™ happens. It just does. Just be who you are and enjoy it.