Monday, April 19, 2010

good. so how do you tell whether she is made of wood? build a bridge out of her.

a friend of mine's fiance gave birth to their first child together yesterday afternoon. i am excited for him if that's what he wants. most people know how i feel about human offspring... i don't. one naive thing about this friend's foray into the abyss that is parenthood is that he said that he "won't let it [parenthood] stop him from doing things [he] wants like traveling"... errrr... my response was "oh, well you can still go, i'm sure, but it will be very expensive packing the family around europe for a month..." he said "oh no, i'll still go on my own." heh. heh. heh. oh yes. i can see that floating about as well as "very small rock" .

so i bought his new daughter a prezzie:

this is a tulu hoberman rattle from (home for all your geeky necessities, of course -- i spend entirely too much money here)... i usually try to buy educational gifts for kids. yah, i hear the booing and hissing already. but let me be clear. my personal experience with learning was filled with fun! i used to do my sister's homework for her, i would yoink the books she brought home from english class for fun reading, i would ask for extra work to do in class or the teacher would get me to help check the other students' work. anyway, i prefer to get fun and educational toys. this particular toy is built on the principles of the hoberman's sphere and i have seen kids playing with this toy and absolutely loving it. considering this new human's genetic pool, it should really get all the help it can................. oh kidding................... maybe.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

and ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure

so yah... that whole 'no stress' thing... well, it worked for the day that i said i would do it. the thing is, i had to re-enter reality on the monday with said reality biting me ever-so-kindly (read: harshly) on the ass. the week has been insanely stress-filled. the twitching started up again, the headache persisted, the pain radiated over the right side of my face. this morning i woke up with my mouth visibly 'fallen'. at the moment i maintain muscle control, some moments rather well and others rather shaky. i called my acupuncturist and thank goodness she had a free slot @ 5:30pm. i walked into the acu-clinic and was greeted with that soothing scent of chinese oils and herbs. the familiar lullaby music playing subtly over her p.a. system, the lovely heat lamp placed over my 'hellraiser' face... please cross all fingers and toes that this ounce will work!!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

no stress

yesterday and today i've had a pretty bad headache... well "faceache"... since my bell's palsy incident 2 years ago i'm very very conscious about how i feel stress in my body. usually i carry tension over my back. my back is full of knots that won't come out and is not pliable at all... but since bell's i notice how much i carry tension around my face and head. when under a lot of stress the left side of my face responds slower to movements than my right... and sometimes when it's really bad the right side of my face can't stop twitching around the 7th cranial nerve that runs into the face. my acupuncturist said this is manifesting the stress from the left side as well. the initial bell's palsy pain started in my left eyebrow and then across my cheek and jaw and in the last couple days i have been feeling the stress in my eyebrow again... today is going to be a relaxing day... the rule is: no stress.

Friday, April 09, 2010

i had a bad day, dear...

so yah... i did...
giant weaseltards spewing corporate lingo and idiocy...
i ranted to a friend on msn...
here is part of the conversation...

warning: this conversation is officially rated... "Messed Up"

V says:
i hope he swallows the giant cocks he keeps sucking and they puncture a hole in his intestinal wall and his body is flooded with toxins and shit
T... says:
you're really cheery tonight
V says:
i hope all his teeth fall out and his face caves in and he swallows his own fucking head
i had a bad day, dear
T... says:
nothing i say will change that, but still, ill try to get you in a better mood
I play golf
V says:
take pics
T... says:
I told my boss my eyes were caught in the gravitational field around her boobs
V says:
did she cum?
T... says:
she laughed
V says:
she came
(and later)
T... says:
i crushed his hand heh
was a weak wimp
V says:
i bet he came too
T... says:
oh you know everyone around me comes
V says:
well duh
T... says:
cept me, i only leave
V says:
T... says:
V says:
and it can stop now
it's not stopping
that's awesome
T... says:
never ever ever eeeeeeeeeeever!
V says:
random balcony
you fell into the pool below
well, 1/2 of you did
T... says:
must have been Mr Dickins
V says:
buttered side down
ok that visual made me laugh
you can go to bed now
T... says:
good nightness
V says:
sometimes it just takes something weird to turn the day at least back to it's usual tilted self...

Sunday, April 04, 2010

on cloning and regrets...

sometimes i wish i could split myself into multiple people. or maybe clone myself. then i could be in all the places i wanted to be. and then where would the real me be? some central hub where all other me's would download their information into so i could experience it all? i don't know for sure... but sometimes i want my cake and eat it too, dammit... i regret that i can't.
i miss being with too many people
i miss doing too many things
i miss seeing too many places
i wish i could experience it all
one lifetime is never enough to explore and capture all the memories i want to create.
i wish it were. i'm sorry it isn't. maybe in another life? maybe i will come back as a bananaslug...?