Tuesday, January 13, 2009

have you ever

thought you were so ugly that it has to be some sort of disease?

Saturday, January 10, 2009

An open letter (again)...

...to the person who bought the "Glade - Vanilla Passion" air deodorizer for the ladies' washroom at work:

Dear Epic Fail,
I thank you most sincerely for your attempt to help disguise the vile and toxic fumes that creep up and out the floor drain in our bio-hazardous washroom. However, as mentioned in the previous blog there is only one room that ought to emanate the scent of vanilla and, unless your kitchen also contains your toilet, the washroom should indeed not be the aforementioned room.

This letter would not be complete if I did not mention that the absolute and utter failure to reproduce the scent of vanilla still remains. No product exists... no candle, no air freshener, no incense, no bath bubble, no perfume, no scented oil... that has managed to recreate the actual true and delicious scent that is vanilla. And regardless of these statements the most important of all is that the false scent emitting from this container should never be mixed with the scent of pooh!

Gagging Co-worker

Random Thoughts...

  • People who do not know how to read a newspaper ought to be tossed into a giant blender. They would make better use of themselves as fertilizer and mulch than as human beings.
  • "Vanilla" scented perfume does NOT smell like vanilla. Vanilla should strictly be used for baking and not for bathing. You actually smell like a very bad science experiment.
  • Xmas should not start on November 1st and last through until January 1st. Soon after Xmas decorations are taken off the shelf they are then replaced by a sha-hed-load Valentine's day crap! Can we, please, just STOP with all the effing commercialism already? Why do you think the economy is how it is in the first place?
  • I've officially decided that Entertainment Tonight has more news credibility than CNN.
  • Not matter how far we have come in the whole 'equal rights' movement, I still think it's a great thing when men hold open doors for women.
  • If you have never experienced the wonder of the Canadian Classic "Anne of Green Gables" on film then I suggest that you do.
  • I'm still hoping that my favourite black hat that I lost 2 years ago will somehow mysteriously appear in my hat/mitten/scarf bin.
  • 2008 was super suckage in the way of films for a few exceptions: Burn After Reading, The Dark Knight, Religulous, Wall-e, Sweeney Todd, Juno (but I think that was 2007)...
  • You can never go home.
  • You can never solve your parents' problems; you can just try to raise them right and hope they make the best decisions on their own.
  • I am able to keep plants alive! Finally, after 15+ years, many failed attempts, mass suicides and grisly slayings, I have managed to keep 6 plants alive and in relatively good health too. My secret: finding plants that are impossible to kill!
  • The food network is one of my favourite channels. I can't cook exotic meals, but I imagine myself being able to follow the instructions of these culinary masters and create mouth-watering meals. One problem I do have is that half the ingredients they use are so utterly foreign to me that I wouldn't even know the first place to look for these things at the supermarket!
  • Related note: Olives should be illegal.