Friday, June 30, 2006

Sit still and express yourself!!

We were told:

  • Sit still! (Express yourself!)
  • Behave and settle down. (Enjoy your freedom!)
  • Eat your vegetables. (Quick and Easy dinners in a box!)
  • Get a good education. (Experience will get you far in life.)
  • Don't fight the system, it's there for a reason. (Challenge things around you.)
  • Don't question my authority, I know what is better for you. (Think for yourself!)
  • Follow your dreams. (Be practical and future-oriented.)
  • Stand up for what you believe. (Don't make a spectacle of yourself.)

Where do we fit in? Most fit in on the safe side. The side that causes the smallest waves. We were fed a bunch of crap. We were told that the world would be ours for the taking if we followed the above rules. Rules and guidelines that are in constant contradiction with each other. No one has the answers. Why is it, that at such a young age we're all going through the same feelings? Feeling lost. Feeling misguided. Feeling unfulfilled. We were told it was going to be simple, right? That with the right tools, we would find success and happiness and wouldn't have to work as hard or as long as our parents did. Life was ours for the taking. So what did we do? We all went out and got our education and started our careers just like we were told to do. We started families and marriages and two car garage homes with family pets and Sunday barbeques. And we can't sleep at night. Why is it that we can't seem to allow ourselves to be happy in the mundane? The regular work that regular people have to do for the rest of their regular lives? We were told to shoot for the stars with our dreams. We all thought we were destined for greatness. World Famous Ecologists. Adventurers. Astronauts. Rock Stars. There is no glory in pushing papers, crunching numbers, digging ditches. If we dreamed of a life, it wasn't one less extraordinary - *that* was not going to ME. I would have one foot in the Amazon and one in the Antarctic. One hand holding the Nobel Prize for Literature and the other digging a well in a 3rd world country. We were to do GREAT things, weren't we? Why are we so damn bitter because we're not? Is this not the life you've carved for yourself? Should we blame those that sat on the sidelines cheering us on for lying to us about the greatness of our potential? Was it a lie? Why can't we just be content to live now? To accept our life is what it is by choices that we have made. Why can't we be overjoyed with life as we know it? Why must we always strive only to be "content"? Life is a bluddy amazing thing.

I've come through some turmoil lately; some heavy decisions that have had my mind occupied and my heart … well, let's just say - a bit withered. I've come face to face with the thought of my own mortality and my own decisions that I have made over the years that have put me in this exact spot that I am today. I'm tired of whining. I'm tired of looking around and saying "Why?" I'm tired of people around me whining. I'm tired of watching people deflect their own responsibility in how their life has turned out. But you can't stop it. You can't help people see the amazing things they have. Even if they're surrounded by their own success - they can't see anything but their failures. You can't change that. Call it the "paradigm shift". Call it the "30-something-crisis". Call it what you will.

The truth is, we are not ALL destined for greatness. Imagine if we were. This world would be considerably more tiresome and boring. But imagine that in our own selves we feel we are great. By our own standards. Measuring our success by what we, alone, think and feel is successful. Challenging ourselves. Finding passion within ourselves. Not expecting the applause and accolades of those that surround us but finding that within ourselves. Yes. I think we were lied to by the people that wanted us to be successful. Maybe giving us something to strive for has made us better? Maybe misguiding us steered us into a future that ended up being more than what they ever imagined for us. Most of us come from "ordinary" families with ordinary dysfunction. How far do you think most people stray from their roots? Is the life you lead so horrible? If it is, why haven't you changed it?

A blogmate wrote about "Enough, is rich". And I just wonder, with each of us, what *is* enough? I know it’s a personal thing. Enough is relative. Should we cast sideways glances at those that want *more* than what we do? More than what it takes to sustain? Maybe if it encroaches upon someone else's freedoms? Where do you draw the line? Has your life afforded you the opportunity to have "enough"? Our culture had dictated that perhaps enough is not GREAT; and we should be great! Is great enough?

That's what I have to say.
Enough already.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

random stuff - an update...

i have been remiss in posting blogs lately.
i have been busy with Life (tm). it seems as though i have found one! yay me. i've been out and about. visiting lake louise. camping. walking the girls. i've joined Curves ©. i am just feeling quite great as of late. i've been taking my camera most places i go, too. since purchasing Daria (the Nikon D50) i have taken over 1000 photographs -which is approximately a billionGB in space on my harddrive. *blush* i am a whore for the camera. time to back-up my system, eh? some pics are complete shyte, others i am actually considering printing and putting on my walls. i've been listening to a lot of leonard cohen lately mixed with Dream Theatre.
have i mentioned that i love my backyard firepit?? enjoyed an evening out there last night. first time there's been decent weather to have a bbq and a backyard firepit on the weekend (while i've been around). how very relaxing.
i am helping a very dear friend move in mid-july. another friend is coming back to canada from china for 6 weeks for her first visit back in a couple of years. she got married last year and so i guess this is when we all get to meet the judge/tour-guide husband. and YUK! stampede is coming up quickly. this is possibly my LEAST favourite time of the year. the transWESTites come out to play in full-force. what joy, what bliss. can you say BLERGH? i'll survive -i always do... so, in a nutshell, there's an update. as chaotic as it is... ;)

the INJUSTICE league

Inappropriate Drunk Girl - for the girl who says super inappropriate things whilst drunk and quiet at all other times.
Isometric Man - the guy who was approached at the gym and asked to "get on someone's back" for some innocent isometric training
The Nippler - the one that likes to touch their own and have theirs touched
Fat Girl - the one that's fat and happy to be fat
Reflector - the one that likes their reflection altogether too much
Uber MILF - the hot momma
The Fisherman - who is known for his "catch and release" method of picking up women

(all real identities are, of course, secret!)

Monday, June 19, 2006

I blame Guggs... He's such a bad influence... He's not the Messiah!! He's a very naughty boy!!

1. Where were you 3 hours ago?
Napping on the express coming home from work.
2. Who are you in love with?
3. Have you ever eaten a crayon?
Yes. If you haven't then you're *weird*.
4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
Box of hair dye is a bit purple-ish.
5. When is the last time you went to the mall?
11 June 2006
6. Are you wearing socks right now?
Newp. Socks and flipflops don't match.
7. Do you have anything over $2,000?
House. Truck. Couches. Accounts.
8. When was the last time you drove out of town?
13 June 2006
9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
10. Are you hot?
Is this a question? Duh.
11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
12. What are you wearing right now?
Black tank and army green scrubs.
13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?
The carwash.
14. Last food that you ate?
Homemade chilli.
15. Where were you last week at this time?
@ home here, packing up for camping.
16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
New flipflops.
17. When is the last time you ran?
Playing with my dogs just a few minutes ago.
18. What's the last sporting event you watched?
Oilers vs. Hurricanes.
19. What is your favorite animal?
Bears. Sharks. No bears. No wait, sharks. No wait, dogs! Lions!. Erm. Stupid question.
20. Your dream vacation?
6 months in Europe.
21. Last person's house you were in?
Mum & Pops's.
23. Have you been in love?
24. Do you miss anyone right now?
Lots of people.
25. Last play you saw?
Jesus Christ Superstar.
27.What are your plans for tonight?
Going to watch some episodes of Scrubs and cheer for the Hurricanes to cap the Oilers.
28. Who is the last person you sent a myspace message or comment?
I am a blogger girl in a myspace world.
29. Next trip you are going to take?
Grande Prairie to help one of my best friends move to Calgary.
30. Ever go to camp?
31. Were you an honoUr roll student in school?
I have the GEEK GIRL shirt to prove it.
32. What do you want to know about the future?
If it's so bright that I have to wear shades.
33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Yes. Clinique "Happy".
34. Are you due sometime this year for a doctor's visit?
Yes. In August.
36. What happened to 35?
It hated you and left with 22 and 26 and 43. A threesome, or technically, an one-hundred-twenty-six sum. Har har.
37. Do you have a tan?
Yes. Gaddayum freckles.
38. What are you listening to right now?
Pink Floyd - Us and Them.
39. Do you collect anything?
I used to collect turtles, but now they're kind of annoying, so I've decided to collect the dust ON the turtles. Makes more sense.
40. Who is the biggest gossiper you know?
Ugh, this "woman" @ work. She's terrible. Always trying to get information about everyone from everyone. I wanna put her face on a cheese grater.
41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?
Just a routine checkstop thing was a few years ago. My last *cough* ticket was eons ago. 1994. Speeding in a playground zone. Bastids jumped out from behind a tree!!! I shoulda ran over 'em!
42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?
Yes. Stupid question.
44. Do you like hot sauce?
I like SPICY not HOT.
45. Last time you took a shower?
This morning.
46. Do you need to do laundry?
No, but I need to put it away. Where, I have no idea, as all closets are full. Blergh.
47. What is your heritage?
North American Indian, Inuit, German & French.
48. Are you someone's best friend?
Yes, I think I am. :P
49. Are you rich?
Define rich.
50. What do you think of the person who took this survey before you?
I love him to utter pieces and I can't wait until we're in the same area code.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

happy pops day

here's my pops...
this is like his "Typical Dad" look...

i know i didn't post for mumma's day (sorry, mumma!!), but i just saw my pops this weekend
...and well, imma bit of a daddy's girl... so yah...
innit he cute??? awwww...

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Kitty Off!

this picture was taken of Moxie when we lived in California

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

06/06/06 06:06:06

The Number Of The Beast

[Steve Harris]

"Woe to you, Oh Earth and Sea, for the Devil sends the
beast with wrath, because he knows the time is short...
Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the
beast for it is a human number, its number is Six hundred and
sixty six."

I left alone my mind was blank
I needed time to think to get the memories from my mind

What did I see can I believe that what I saw
that night was real and not just fantasy

Just what I saw in my old dreams were they
reflections of my warped mind staring back at me

'Cos in my dream it's always there the evil face that twists my mind
and brings me to despair

The night was black was no use holding back
'Cos I just had to see was someone watching me
In the mist dark figures move and twist
Was this all for real or some kind of hell
666 the number of the beast
Hell and fire was spawned to be released

Torches blazed and sacred chants were praised
As they start to cry hands held to the sky
In the night the fires burning bright
The ritual has begun Satan's work is done
666 the number of the beast
Sacrifice is going on tonight

This can't go on I must inform the law
Can this still be real or just some crazy dream
But I feel drawn towards the evil chanting hordes
They seem to mesmerise me ... can't avoid their eyes
666 the number of the beast
666 the one for you and me

I'm coming back I will return
And I'll possess your body and I'll make you burn
I have the fire I have the force
I have the power to make my evil take it's course

Saturday, June 03, 2006

it kinda gives that impression...

Thursday, June 01, 2006

2 minutes to midnight

and to make a post in time for HNT... well, the few people that read this will get a laugh... so! enjoy!!


i was talking to logo and she gave me the inspiration for this blog...
(thanks logo-bogo!)

(I'D SOOOO "DO"...)

johnny depp... Jack Sparrow Gear optional...bruce dickinson...
david gilmour... those hands... that guitar... those lips... rawwrrr!
roger waters...donald sutherland... im just doing my patriotic duty...
alan rickman... a bit trent reznor-ish here, again, snape-ness optional...

ok!! some are over 60 and then the whole deal with sagging balls comes into play, but i seriously wouldn't mind SOME sagging balls... we're not going to be young forever, right?... it makes certain activities easier, im sure. so yah... *cough*... next...