Thursday, May 31, 2007

Sweet Monkey Love

I have to say that when Grunt told me about his brother's "A list of funny word combinations that you can try on a dead bird or a mailbox." it opened up my own pandora's box of word combinations that I could try on a dead bird or a mailbox. (Although, I hate birds, so I think I might try it on a dead cow and a stop-sign.)

So here is my confessional...

Often, in my dreams, I do things like read comic books, recipes, instructions, long literary pieces, signs, webpages and newspapers but I only remember --clearly-- one time where the words I've read made actual sense.

Normally a recipe will list things like:

1 bounce of triggers

1/3 forklift

1 pleasant highchair

2 dryer lint sausage

If I'm reading the newspaper it will have headlines like:

"Tractor Aliens Undo Thanksgiving Monkey"

If I'm reading instructions on how to put together a table or bookshelf it will read something like:

"Diet on the radio fully with religious bunkers. After, proceed to nearest colonoscopy and tip the waitress with a rhino ear."

Long literary pieces will read like:

"One slug in a decade of delapitated furry onion leafs tried unsuccessfully to breed Aunt Fiona's grilled barbeque shrubbery. If ever Joe De Papineaux hurried his mixer in strange company demons of unusual size buzzed his nosehairs repeatedly. Firestorm shadowbolts of wrath giggled and galloped among the flowery fields of eyebrows. In the darkened hours of Saturn's rings it was clear that perhaps Franz and Helga should have eaten the direct publishing company of amednments and in doing so would not have housed all the unfortunate carpet."

Keep in mind, in my dream these things make PERFECT sense. Often I note myself nodding and agreeing, while my conscious brain is shaking its head at my dream brain and doing the Homer-D'oh with a mental head-smack. Words have always fascinated me. In have a little word-journal that I keep lying around in places where I write words that make me giggle or for whatever reason I think are fun to pronounce or ones that drip off the tongue like honey or warm syrup.

So... welcome to my brain. Wet your feet in the stream of my consciousness but don't forget to wear your life-jacket.

And now onto the tagged-ness:

In my Virtual Franklin Covey Day Planner from 2007.

Under "Record of Conversation": What? Who is listening? Am I wiretapped? Is this thing on? Long Live Mexican Food!

Subject: I refuse to subject myself to anything that does not give ample reward.
With: Onions. I like to hedge my bets.
Telephone: I've never tried it with a phone before, b/c I thought the cord would get in the way.
Meeting at: The bike-racks @ 3:30!
By: Curious?
Date: Never on the first date unless there are time constraints and a plane to catch.
Topic Discussed: How to shovel a proper hole to bury a dead or live body.
Action: Equal and opposite reaction. (Pfft, so I'm told by those Science-Type People. I still have yet to test this theory out myself.)

If I didn't do that right, I don't care. Heh. It was fun!

Thanks for the kick in the pantses Grunt-oh. I did/do miss blogging more regularily -- even if no one reads it.