Tuesday, January 30, 2007

So yah...

That thing... that I was talking about a little while ago. Well, it has happened. And, on my birthday of all days. So yay!
I received my offer letter today for an internal position in my company as a "Data Integrity Analyst". I GOT A NEW JOB!!! It isn't as fancy as it sounds! I am, however, liking the semi-fancy sound of it.
So thinking about the semi-fanciness of my title started me thinking about some unusual job titles I have seen or read about and had a little giggle over some that have been either fictional or non-fictional. Remember when "Domestic Engineer" was a joke?

Here are a few:
  • Human Relations Coordinator
  • Front-End Developer
  • Custodial Engineer
  • Thought Jockey
  • Chief Dream Expert
  • Fluffer
  • Malicious Logic Specialist

Nowadays, with how fast technology has crept into our world and how quickly we've had to adjust to its intoxication, it isn't a wonder the number odd job titles that have also crept up over the years in relation to technology. There have been articles and blogs written about the funny slash odd slash weird job titles and descriptions that have been floating around the tech-world for some time.

Things like:
  • WebNerd
  • VBA Rockstar
  • Java Virtuoso
  • .Net Ninja
  • Windows Application Crash-Inducer
  • SuperGeek

So keeping with the whole "creative" motif I am sending a letter to reprographics telling them to print my new business cards to read something like:
Ruler of The Universe

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

I'm Secretary of State, brought to you by Carl's Jr.

So this weekend I watched the film Idiocracy directed by Mike Judge (a la Office Space fame).

I truly was looking forward to watching this film! I simply love BAD movies and this one had a rating of 6.4 on imdb. Personally, I like going for films that have a less than 6 rating... For example, Zardoz has a rating of 5.5 and it is a GREAT film... No really, I do love Zardoz...

Some spoilers ahead...

So, the film stars Luke Wilson as an average Joe who enjoys his mundane and uninspiring life in the military. He is chosen as a lab rat for a one-year, experimental, "top secret" military project which will hopefully, in the future, cryogenically freeze their top soldiers for future military use. Of course, the experiment goes awry and Joe wakes up 500 years in the future to find out that people and society have not evolved but rather devolved.

The film is neither poignant nor cerebral by any stretch of the imagination, however, the irony is that in its stupidy it manages to disspell and idea that we are indeed superior beings. It also reminds us that, given the wrong sort of direction, society is not far from nor truly removed from becoming the dystopia that is represented in this film. It is filled with insane but possible truths. And for anyone that has a love for the uber-bad films that portray the degeneration of society (ie: Soylent Green, Escape from New York and Omega Man) this is just another film that should be on your "Ought To Watch" list.

Favourite Quote:

Costco Greeter: Welcome to Costco, I love you.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Mmmmm & Mmmmm's

Apparently, if I were an M&M... this is what I'd look like...

You can become one too...
click here...

Mystic crystal revalation... And the mind's true liberation...

Getting older.
It is something that everyone suffers from and everyone seems to fight tooth and nail against. When I was younger, to me, 30 seemed so very very old. When I was 20, I was excited to be able to see how close 30 was and how I knew that hitting that age wouldn't be all that big of a deal for me. Some people have a difficult time wrapping their heads around hitting milestone birthdays... "I can't believe I'm xxx years old, OMG!! I'm SO OLD!"...
For me, getting a year older isn't a bad thing. I've always seen it as another year where I've just gained so much more life experience and those experiences have not taken away from any youthful outlook that I may have.
I will, I think, forever be young in spirit.
I guess part of the reason why I might not have issues with age is not so much that age just doesn't really *mean* anything, b/c of course it does in most cases... But I think that as far as my life goes I am, for the most part, where I want to be, and if not, it is where I need to be at this very moment. If my life was full of regrets, I think I would definitely have a much different perspective than I do right now.
People are funny when it comes to age.
I have this friend who thinks that odd years (such as 29, 31, 33...) are bad years... She just celebrated her 33rd birthday in August... I think she is having a pretty good year so far. I'm crossing my fingers that her theory will be blown out of the water! But can you imagine dreading every second year?
I have another friend who is barely a month older than I am and has always dreaded every birthday up until the one that just passed... she turned 34... I think maybe it is b/c her life is starting to head in the direction she wants it and there is no need for dread any more. Her steps are deliberate and thought-out and she is becoming more focused on a future for herself, particularly one that she wants.
So many people are entering that phenomenon called the 30-something crisis. I know what it is like to challenge yourself where you're currently at and wonder where it is you're going. To realize that maybe the things you've accomplished aren't the things you wanted. That perhaps this whole "grown-up" thing isn't all it was cracked up to be. You long for the days when all you had to do was go out to the pub after class with mates and talk about Dostoevsky or Camus or Nietzsche and pretend these things really did matter in every day life. No, that isn't coming from cynicism. It is TRUE! Dostoevsky DOES matter in every day life. If you make it matter. I guess I just try to make it matter.
So as I approach the beginning of my 35th year (I will be 34 on the 24th) I am led to ask myself a few questions on the status of my life... Questions that I will not share and, to be perfectly honest, some are pretty tough to answer. Not all, just some. Not most, just some. I've done a pretty good job at this Life™ this so far, I'm not a total emo!! Anyway, 2007 seems off to a great start... I am going to attempt to keep this momentum going.
So, I'll be off celebrating for the next while...! Wheeee! And a Happy Birthday to all my fellow water babies!!
This is the dawning of the Aging Aquarius...

Monday, January 15, 2007

the blog post formerly known as *blank*...

A is for Age: Thirty Three and 9/10ths.

B is for Beer of choice: Grolsch.

C is for Career: An accountant for an oil and gas company. Ideally, I would like to do something in photography... but NO wedding photos. Bluch.

D is for favourite Drink: Coffee. *bzzz*

E is for Essential item I use everyday: Lip Balm.

F is for Favourite song at the moment: "A Simple Mistake" by Anathema.

G is for favourite Game: World of Warcraft.

H is for Hometown: Haven't found it yet.

I is for Instruments I play: Trumpet & Piano.

J is for favourite Juice: Pink Lemonade.

K is for Kisses: Long and deep that take your breath away.

L is for Last kiss: From one of my doggies this morning.

M is for Meaning of Life: People suck.

N is for Noticeable Scars: One on my right arm in my elbow joint from dirt-bike accident.

O is for Overnight Hospital stays: Including endless hours in the ER: 2

P is for Phobias: Clowns.

Q is for Quote: "Don't hate me because I am beautiful, hate me because I am smarter than you."

R is for Rice Krispie Squares: Thick and chewy and the only think I know how to bake.

S is for Steak: Cremated with extra char.

T is for Time I wake up: Anywhere between 05:30 and 06:45 M-F. Waking up on weekends is optional.

U is for Underwear: Very colourful and playful.

V is for Vegetables I love: Broccoli, carrots, peaches and cream corn, green peppers...

W is for Worst habit: How could I pick just one? Nail-biting, let's say.

X is for X-rays I’ve had: A few. I broke my arm when I was 18 and I swear to Buddha they took way too many x-rays. Maybe that's why I'm so eff'd up now!

Y is for Yummy food I make: I make THE BEST chilli. THE BEST meatloaf. THE BEST stif-fry. THE BEST jello.

Z is for Zodiac: Aquarius.

N.B.: Ok, I'm not a daft loon, I know that E is not essential Item... that would be I is for essential Item... Nor is F for favourite Song... Hello, that would be S... etc, etc, etc... *sigh* Whoever wrote this was a complete idiot and I am an even bigger one for republishing it. So forgive my blogging idiocy and let's chalk it up to me being a cock-blogger...

P.S.: Is it wrong that, last night, I dreamt about my favourite high school teacher that I had a super-huge crush on... *cough* 8-\ ...Aye, you're on the right track...

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

2006 In Review...

I decided to see if I could recap the year 2006... So I flipped through my Day-Timer (it is always a good source and the closest thing to a diary that I possess) to see what I could find... In my flipping I realized what a horrible source my 2006 Day-Timer was... Ha! Normally, my Day-Timers are filled with little tidbits and events of the year, but I guess 2006 was an exception to the norm. I have Day-Timers going back to 1994 (at least) that tell tales of where I've been who I hung out with and all that sort of thing. They are fun to peruse and laugh and see how silly I was and still am...
Some highlights* and lowlights* of 2006:
*some content is edited due to the fact that it is really none of your effin' business ;)
  • Grandpa's funeral started the year off with a very somber tone and pretty much calibrated the mood for a lot of the days in 2006.
  • My birthday was a riot! I had friends come from out of town to celebrate which was totally amazing!
  • OPETH! (with Dark Tranquillity and Devildriver)! Whoohoo! Nothing like an extreme metal concert to brighten the year. (Mikael Akerfeldt is super hot, yo)
  • Raising your parents is a tough job, but someone's gotta do it.
  • New PC! (Later to find out it has a very suck-ass integrated (non-upgradeable) video card. Tip to all: build your own PC!)
  • Medical issues totally suck!
  • Mini-break in Toronto to see C!
  • Major landscaping projects completed.
  • Basement development! Not 100% complete, but hopes to have this done for 2007 are very high!
  • Family time in 2006. Nice visits and such. Always goodtimes, especially when departing! ;)
  • I painted a lot of ceramics in 2006.
  • I died my hair bright fuchsia and got tons of Disapproving Stares (tm).
  • Medical issues totally suck!
  • A good and close friend moves to Calgary. Good Times (tm).
  • World of Warcraft.
  • I love Halloween.
  • Vera!! Come on down!! A New Car!!!
  • New glasses. Black and gothy purple. I am "less far-sighted" now which meant... ACK! Bi-Focals! Holy crapalolly! I mean, I'm 33! But, meh. Who cares, I can see, right? I was told this would happen when I was around 16. My eyes have a bad astigmatism and therefore I would need bi-focals into my 30s. Wow, who knew ophthalmologists could be right?
  • Xmas in Ontario had it's good and bad moments.
  • I took some stunning (if I do say so myself) photos in 2006.
  • Friends come into your life and they leave. They make an impression if we choose to allow it. For those that have gone from my life, I thank you for having been a part of it and wish you all the best.
  • Started to look into other options within my company and make calculated choices, career-wise.
A more summarized version:
I became more co-dependent on caffeine in 2006.
I drank less water than I should in 2006.
I ate less carbs than I did in 2005.
I loved in 2006.
I hated in 2006.
I laughed less than in 2005.
I cried more than in 2005.
I realized the value of certain people in my life in 2006.
I've made promises I plan to keep in 2007.
I've decided to shake off this morose blanket that has been smothering me in 2007.
I've decided to be more deliberate in 2007.
Dammit, I will go to the gym more often in 2007!
I will continue to drink coffee in 2007.
I not one for resolutions. In fact, I don't ever make them. However, I will say some have crossed my mind while the clock ticked over to 2007. The above is the closest thing to a list of resolutions anyone would ever see from me. While, as I read in the paper, Canadians are moving over to the trend "to resolve not to resolve" I, of course, have to be different and swing the other way.
So welcome to the world 2007. I'm ready for ya.
Just bring it.

Monday, January 01, 2007

happy nude rear...

well, its 2007...
and although 2006 ended up being a rather shit year i have hopes the 2007 will be much more... better...
i am not going to shoot myself in the foot and say it will be phenomenal...
i hope you all had a great xmas holiday!
i hope you all have a good 2007!