Monday, May 08, 2006

mulligan

Would you do it over again? I always say "No". I am who I am now because of the way things have happened. I cannot change the past and my future seems to already be written by the decisions I make today. If that's the case, then why think about doing it over again? Mostly, I think humans are masochistic sods that enjoy the torturous game of "What-If". It is rarely to look back and say: "Well, now that was interesting, what can I do better in the future to avoid that kind of outcome again?" What-If is dangerous. I know. I've spent some time down that road, living a life in the parallel universe where the decisions I made were different and "better". Or, so I thought. Why think about doing it over again? The reality I chose wasn't one where I wanted to be? That's ridiculous. I'm not sure if doing it over would solve, relieve, make-right anything that has happened. In fact, it could end up inadvertently hurting someone more or someone else in the process. So, as for the January 15, 1999 incident [previous blog entry], I don't think it would be wise for me to pick that date. There are too many people that would be affected by the changes I could make in order to "right" a situation. Perhaps the situation was right all along.