Chew-Chew... Chugga-Chugga

So, the Gum-Chewing-Cardiac-Arrest dude was on the bus the other day. I was standing and waiting for the express @ my usual stop, slightly later than normal, and I watch him walk down the street happily chewing an EatMore chocolate bar. And when I saw chewing, I mean chewwwww-innngggg (a la Forrest Gump runnnn-innnngg). Now, I know EatMore is a delightfully chewing candy sensation!! I am not one to argue! But once again, given this particular man's chewing history, I found myself smiling @ his obvious delight in his tempromandibular calisthenics.

The bus arrives. Again, I sit in my usual spot; back row, right-side corner and he sits directly next to me chatting with another bloke. Outside of the downtown core and beginning the drive up Centre street, The Chewmaster takes out a crossword puzzle and starts working on it. I'm "engrossed" in the Da Vinci code (insert sarcasm and make a note that this might be the topic of a future blog). I notice, at this point, the pen that was moving rather furiously next to me has become oddly still and that The Chewmaster's right leg has become rather heavy and sedate next to my own left leg. I glance up from my book and see that his eyes are closed and his breathing has become longer and deeper; he is dozing. His head bounces loosely with the movement of the bus and yes, he is CHEWING IN HIS SLEEP! Folks, I almost lost it.

Now I realize, that perhaps this is a medical condition. *Googling: Chronic chewing* Perhaps an auto-immune response to something not yet detected? Maybe he's dreaming of gum or EatMore chocolate bars? I figure, over a period of 20 minutes, the man must be burning 10 calories just chewing!

Now, to address the personal space issue. First off, one has to realize that on public transit there is no "personal space". Normally, If some twit was sitting next to me chewing, sleeping and leaning themselves on me, normally, they would get a nice sharp elbow in their side, but I think I mentioned before that he was a red-head.

Anyway, the point is… if you google chronic chewing you'll get a bunch of stuff regarding dog training, tobacco "chaw" related sites and the price of tea in China...