Sunday, February 26, 2006
Friday, February 24, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Send this to 5,477 people in your mailing list...
...or suffer from a scorching case of herpes, leprosy, dandruff and deadly gingivitis.
Have you ever received one of those emails? You know. The kind where someone had tea with the Dalai Lama, was given super-human advice on how to treat their fellow man/woman and then told to put it into a .pps presentation or lowly email-forward and send it around the globe 29 times? The email that tells you, at the end, of all the tragic and violent ways in which you will suffer if you don't hit "Forward" and send it to as many people as you can. Or, how about the ones that enclose a touching story of human kindness. The time when Timmy was trapped in a well? The touching story of how someone did something very nice for someone else and in turn taught someone else how to be very nice to someone else and how that very nice thing was seen by someone else who did something for someone… You get my point. Now, if you choose not to forward that email to EVERYONE in your address book then you're cruel, heartless, mean, and just plain Evil ™.
A couple things People ™… STOP the madness. Do you *really* think that, when walking home after a long/hard day @ work and you get hit by a bus that it was because you didn’t send out that cookie-dough recipe that was forwarded to you? That the email TRULY predicted your fate because you chose not to inundate your contact list with the same garbage that you received? Mmmmok, just think about it for one moment. Is your inbox clairvoyant?? And to all those people who lecture on about the virtues of humankind @ the bottom of these "heart-wrenching" emails I have this to say: SOD OFF! Do NOT sit there and presume to think b/c *I* choose not forward something that could possibly have touched my tiny black heart that it speaks ANYTHING of my character. It made you feel good, it made you think, it made you smile, it made you cry, it made you want to do something good for the world. Great. I'm happy for you. BUT. Do not send me it with those idiotic addendums! I don't need to be told when to be "nice" or when to "care". Furthermore, how to care, what to care for or how heartless I am if I don’t send out the email ("including the person that sent it to you") - an email People ™. You do not know what I think or what I do and by telling me that I am cruel or that my non-actions will "leave the world a little bit colder in the process". And why, above ANYTHING would you wish hexes upon the those that you would send this stuff to. Guaranteed, when you send me shit like that, I NEVER send it out, back, up, down, whatever. The bad luck stops here. I am the heartless bish that clicks "DELETE"!
Don’t get me wrong, I like a nice tear-jerker email as much as the next person, but when you attach conditions to something like that it just cheapens the message. Be gone SPAM! Go back to the blackest depths of the junk mail folder from whence ye came! Believe me, I'm not ranting because I feel guilty about not sending out such emails with such *subtle* messages added (insert sarcasm). Nothing could be further from the truth. I am truly exhausted fending off the Evil Forces of Non-forwarded Emails!!! (again, insert sarcasm) C'mon, just think about what you're sending out to your friends. What a waste! Send the bad karma on to your foes instead!!! Find your ex's email list and send THEM the back luck. Oh, geesh, settle down People ™. I wouldn't wish the fleas of a thousand camels infesting thine armpits if you don’t forward my blog address on to any of your friends.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Friday, February 17, 2006
And now for something completely different…
And its even funny how people start to even blog with similar themes or similar stories, just as I am right now. A few recent blog entries on places I often visit have been asking themselves the proverbial question: To blog or not to blog? A lot of people are being a bit reflective of the whole notion of blogging. Its purpose. Why they've come to do it. Do others know they do it or is it anonymous? What does it provide for them.
If you read my title box you will see one of the reasons I started blogging. I was asked by a friend to start blogging some thoughts. I wasn't sure why they wanted me to do this but I guess maybe they felt I had a bit of a voice to say *something* about *something* so I thought I would experiment a bit and see where things went. I didn't know if blogging was going to take off for me. I'm a bit of a paradox. I am a guarded person and with a cynical and suspicious nature. On the other hand, I am overly opinionated and impetuous. And now, here I am, almost 8 months later and post one-hundred and thirty something. Admittedly, some posts are silly quiz results or a gratuitous picture thrown in here and there. These are my thoughts. They might not be cohesive or brilliant or sane or even something you would agree but they're mine. They might change over the years, my opinions might change, but for now, these are my thoughts, these are my opinions, these are my words. This is my voice.
Whatever role you are playing, I appreciate your participation. I too have played many roles for fellow bloggers. I play voyeur; watching people's lives unfold before me and even if I know or not know that whatever they're typing is real, I become an audience and in doing so, I become a participant. I play amateur therapist to a host of issues; people screaming into the darkness their innermost secrets. I play punching bag to their angst; a victim to their venomous words of anger and frustrations. I play priest to their confessions; a quiet box where they relinquish their sins and transgressions. I play audience for their comedic performances; laughing at their witty compostions whether real or mere anecdotes.
I don't keep a written journal. I've always found that to be a bit daunting. I love to write, although most times not very well, I have found that when I put ink to paper I become frustrated with the result and never really reach an end product. Maybe it’s the perfectionist in me. My blog feels informal and casual; I know I'm not trying to create some enlightened piece of work. Maybe that's why it has been easier this way. Maybe that is why I have found it to be a number of things for me as I feel I am for other people's blogs too. It is my place to rid myself of angst… melancholy… silliness… despair… goofiness… suffering… weakness… strength… comfort… happiness… It is my confessional… my fortress of solitude… my blog…
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Happy Anniversary?... Erm... No.
not on my watch...
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Monday, February 13, 2006
Valentine's Day Underoo Selection
Sunday, February 12, 2006
The Dutch Problem Test
Crusader! You are 89% loyal to the future of mankind! |
HALLELUJA!
|
Link: The Dutch Problem Test written by Peppie on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test |
The Monty Python Character Test
Mrs. Conclusion You scored 37 Stubborn, 68 Crazy, 70 Agressive, and 88 Evil! |
Wicked wicked old lady. (To the right). Apperance: Monty Python's Flying Circus High Light: "Burying The Cat" Mrs. Conclusion: Hullo, Mrs. Premise. Mrs. Premise: Hullo, Mrs. Conclusion. Mrs. Conclusion: Busy Day? Mrs. Premise: Busy? I just spent four hours burying the cat. Mrs. Conclusion: *Four hours* to bury a cat? Mrs. Premise: Yes - it wouldn't keep still. Mrs. Conclusion: Oh - it wasn't dead, then? Mrs. Premise: No, no - but it's not at all well, so as we were going to be on the safe side. Mrs. Conclusion:Quite right - you don't want to come back from Sorrento to a dead cat. It'd be so anticlimactic. Yes, kill it now, that's what I say. We're going to have to have our budgie put down. Mrs. Premise: Really - is it very old? Mrs. Conclusion: No, we just don't like it. We're going to take it to the vet tomorrow. Mrs. Premise: Tell me, how do they put budgies down, then? Mrs. Conclusion: Well, it's funny you should ask that, because I've just been reading a great big book about how to put your budgie down, and apparently you can either hit them with the book, or you can shoot them just there, just above the beak. Mrs. Premise: Just there? Well, well, well. 'Course, Mrs Essence flushed hers down the loo. Mrs. Conclusion: No, you shouldn't do that - no, that's dangerous. They *breed* in the *sewers*! |
Monty Python Character Test written by KamikazeParrot on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test |
Thursday, February 09, 2006
And the Grammy ™ goes to…
- SONG OF THE YEAR: Sometimes You Can’t Make It on Your Own, U2.
- ROCK ALBUM: How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, U2.
- ROCK PERFORMANCE BY A DUO OR GROUP WITH VOCAL: Sometimes You Can’t Make It on Your Own, U2.
- ROCK SONG: City of Blinding Lights, U2.
- ALBUM OF THE YEAR: How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, U2.
Hmmm. Sweep. It's lovely. I will admit to being a U2 fan since I was 14. Yes yes, I am part of the hordes of people that latched on to U2 after the release of the Joshua Tree in 1987. Since then I have been in love with the Irish band through good times and bad. Sadly, I have seen them in concert only 4 times but loved every performance. Last night's Grammy Awards gave me two thoughts, actually. That U2 is still the best rock band in the world and that U2 has a tough act to follow; their own. Now, some believe that U2 reached their musical senility in the form of Achtung Baby. I think, however, these people were/are sad that U2 perhaps took a different path for a few years short of a decade. There's nothing wrong with being different and experimenting and I think that path is what has brought U2 back to the foundation/core/root of their passion. True rock music. This is expressed in their last two albums. Now, I am no music critic. I just know what I like. And I like U2. It will be interesting to see what the band has in store for us in the future. Could they possibly make an album that could surpass the success of How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb? Now? After all this time? Ha. When U2 was inducted into the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame in their first year of eligibility, I remember Bono saying something to the effect of, "Not now. We're not done yet." I agree. And even though I might think that they could have released their last great album, I have nothing but hope and faith that they can still write and perform incredible music. They're not dead yet! I hope I will retract the first part of the previous sentence. Words I will happily eat!
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
1337/\/355
Stolen Survey...
Story behind your name: "I heard it somewhere and liked it" - My Mum
How old are you: Thirty Three
Where do you live: Calgary, Canada
Toothbrush: something by Reach or Oral b. However, imma get the sonic thingy!
Jewelry worn daily: earrings
Pillow cover: currently my beige and taupe set from the superstore
Sunglasses: admittedly, the first woman of klutzhood. Very cheap drug-store brand which are replaceable for $5. however, they are HAWT!
Favorite shirt: my "fat chicks rule!" shirt that I made @ girls weekend!! Whooo!
Cologne/Perfume: Happy by Clinique
CD in stereo right now: Opeth - Damnation
Piercings: One per ear.
What you are wearing now: faded-wash brown denim pants, chocolate brown long-sleeve (flared) shirt with a wide drop-v-neck and embroidery around the v. Brown tank shirt underneath to cover inappropriate cleave-display, black 8-eye docs, tortoise glasses and a smile!! (of course necessary underoo selection which I will also include that my socks are shades of dark pinks and black stripes!!)
Wishing: I was on vacation. Any of the following places: Iceland, Italy, Northern Europe, Greece, Egypt, Russia, New Zealand, UK… errmmm…
Wanting: Endless vacation days to complete above list!
What will you be doing for the remainder of the day: catch bus @ 4:10, go to safeway for grocery shop, put said groceries away, have a bite to eat, play on computer, hang out, watch Underworld, ZZZZZzzz… in b/w pets and smoochies and stuffs...
Some of your favorite movies: Army of Darkness, Evil Dead II, A Clockwork Orange, Apocalypse Now, LOTR, The Godfather, A&E Pride & Prejudice, Happy Gilmour, American Psycho... Oy! Seriously, I could really go on forever and you don’t want me to do that.
The last thing you ate: Orchid Fruit Gummies
Something that you are deathly afraid of: the sudden stop at the end of a height.
Do you like the taste of blood: Yes
Do you believe in love: Yes
Do you believe in soul mates: Yes
Do you believe in love at first sight: Should I walk by again?
Do you believe in Heaven: Should I walk by again? HAHA, kidding. Uhmm, no.
Do you believe in God: Maybe. Ermmm, actually not capital G, small o, small d. I think there might be something... Believe me, it is not "maybe" b/c I haven't thought about it. Its b/c I have thought about it too much.
What do you want done with your body when you die: BBQ me with some sauce and have a party.
If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be? I have my two puppas and my kitty, but I would love to have a turtle. And maybe a tarantula. And a snake.
What is the longest you've ever stayed up? 70 hours. I was completely delirious @ the end of it. I slept for a SOLID 11 hours afterwards!
What are some of your favorite candies: Sour Patch Kids, Orchard Fruit Gummies, Junior Mints, Sweet Tarts, Swedish Berries
What's something that you wish people would understand about you? Ermm… nothing.
What's something you wish you could understand better? How DO they get the soft flowing caramilk inside the Caramilk bar?
How many people have you kissed? Not enough to catch herpes II !! Whooooo!
Are you shy around your crush? Errmm… Currently uncrushing
Still have feelings for anyone you've been in a past relationship? There are people that I will always love b/c they are still a part of me and reasons why I am who I am...
Do you know what it feels like to be in love? absolutely
Would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friends? of course
F A S H I O N S T U F F
Where is your favorite place to shop? Being a fat chick I have limited options. I do love Pennington's, Addition-Elle, Old Navy, Lane Bryant… I also LOVE internet shopping!
What is your favorite thing to wear? Camo/Army pants, fat chicks rule! Shirt, doc martens, comfy jeans, jack hoodie, oh I have lots of clothes I love!!!
What is a must have accessory? Lip balm
How much is the most you've ever spent on a single item of clothing? Imma clothes horse, but I'm cheap.
Who is the least fashionable person you know? Me
Do you match your belt with your hair color? Ermmm… no.
How many pairs of shoes do you own? No comment.
What is the worst trend you see today? Wearing your charity on your wrist. (Charity wrist bands) TACKY!!
Do you do drugs? Uhmmm… Drink.
What kind of shampoo do you use? Dove
What would you change about yourself? Indeed I have too many character flaws... some of those things...
What are essentials in your life? Music, Family, Friends & Beer
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Merry Groundhog Day!
things that irritate me about people & reactions weather:
- in general... the weatherman/woman/person - duh!
- radio personalities - why must they complain every time there is a bluddy fucking cloud in the sky???
- skinny co-workers claiming is cold when its 30° C
- skinny co-workers wearing parkas to prove above point
- weird co-workers running gheyly to next building like a puss with arms wrapped around them, ass sticking out, giggling like a girl (was that too personal?? - you know who you are, punk!)
- jungle jane keeping the heat on @ 30° C when its 30° C outside!! (isn't that the temperature you bake poultry???)
- people, when the first snow hits the ground they complain and say "i can't wait for spring!"
- people who refuse to remove the snow from their vehicles when it snows
- people wearing all winter gear when it hits -1° C
i LOVE winter!! i love cold cold weather! i'd rather freeze to death than be mildly uncomfortable in the heat. i need snow! i need cold! dont get me wrong. summer is meant to be enjoyed. hiking and camping and all those fun things. but the fact that we even HAVE winter (except this year) is a bluddy frickin blessing! if you dont like it... again, i say... MOVE!