warning: rant ahead... slower moving vehicles keep right

sorry... i just need to vent... if you aren't in the mood for a rant click on the "next blog" button in the top right hand corner, of use your handy bookmarks and move to the next available blog... :)


i've had the shit-shit shittiest day everrrrrrrr...
first off started out realizing "HOLY FUCK! i left my wallet which is just a little black leather thing with butterflies that holds a few cards (debt, credit, airmiles, driver's license ON MY DESK!!" now, albeit it was under this hideous green giant file folder and you'd have to sort of heave it up to see if there was anything under there and honestly it DOES look like WORK and a lot of WORK to do it and who knew it was actually there and who would decide to look anyway but they might have given the fact that NO ONE would have been staying ALL night at work GUARDING my belongings and perhaps by the time i got to work it would have been gone OR just the number could have been stolen and random and odd charges like long distance calls to ISTANBUL or a bulk order for ben wah balls so the entire commute into work i was like "please, gods of wallets and purses and credit cards and debit cards, please!!! let it be there!!!" (holy run-on sentence babble batman!)

well, that was about the ONLY thing that went right today. work sucked! and i dont mean suck as in "well, that kinda bites" i mean suck as in "WHAT THE FUCK BAD ASS KARMA PIPE HAVE I BEEN SMOKIN'?!" yah. nothing was working properly. reports that take overnight to generate came back "no records returned". well fucktard, i never ASKED you to return them! I asked you to give me the damn reports before i make monkey chow outta your innards and feed them to neightbour's babies! so yah, going through and realizing that over 50% of the reports that were requested didn't generate put me into a slough of a mood. blergh. this happens every month. every month we have a deadline that follows only TWO DAYS after government reports that are to be scheduled to be filed @ 5pm on said date. so, the best thing to do, in order assure you HAVE the right reports is to request them the day OF due date in HOPES that other companies are savvy on the whole "non-penalty" thing and upload their damn SAF/OAFs for partners to view... OHHHHH but NOOOOO! this would be asking TOOOO much. consequently the "no records returned" comes up for most properties... OH, until the FOLLOWING month when operators have finally decide to adhere to compliance. BASTARDS! now, that was only 08:30... what followed was a series of "why is that not allocating?!!?!" screams and growls. a lot of "omg, you're effin' KIDDING ME!?!" ... so thennnnn, in addition to it being revenue deadline tomorrow, i have to make it EXTRA early b/c i have an appointment scheduled for the afternoon that i cannot miss. instead of 15:00, i have a 12:00 deadline. and believe me, sometimes it is cutting it down to the last 10 minutes to have things completed for month end interface. now, if things were running smoothly, i wouldn't have as much issue with any of the above things... BUT NO. today had to be the day where all planets were misaligned.

at work i've inherited a few new properties from this bloke who resigned b/c (and i quote) "i've been working for 7 years now and i need a break" uhmmm.. HELLO? welcome to *real life*. no, im not envious. i think he's a crack-head. i just found that very odd. so, with that said, you can IMAGINE the state of the work that he has passed off to me. ho'kay (here's the earth... round... blue... ehm, sorry, distracted) i am an aquarius. we're known to be on the anal side of the perfectionist spectrum. now, me, notsomuch. i mean, i like things done 1) efficiently 2) simplified and 3) non-stupid!!! (ok yah, i use windows... SUE ME!!) i try to do my best at whatever i do, maybe that can be seen as perfectionism... anyway, i have no fuggin cloo why people who are stupid are allowed to set up things that *should* run from A through to B in a straight simple line. oh, no. with this, A had to go through calcutta and take a wrong turn at albuquerque to get to G!D! B. either way, it should NOT be done this way. it makes things so much more difficult but makes people doing said property feel more important b/c it is done this way. oh yes, i know this is why it was set up like this. ego. wtf??!?! accountants with ego. that's like Thor in a dress. wrong.

my mental state had been blackened. no. cremated. HA!

all day i kept hearing the french dude in the office next to me yelling into his phone and cursing en francais "tabernacle!" (this is the guy who left montreal 40 years ago but has not lost his accent and pronounces words appearance -- ah-per-ants)... i heard the woman two doors down from that answering her phone two octaves too high "OH HELLO!!!!! how are youuuuuu???" you know the type. the perpetual cheerleader.

i didn't get a chance to even go to the loo b/c the G!D! crap i had to keep re-running b/c of errors. which are VAGUE and completely USELESS. "Market Master has set up errors". well, genius, the market master can produce about five hundred ba-billion errors, which one should we look @ first. again, all lending toward the, now, dubbed Evil Accountant Ego (tm). to add insult to injury, anyone that could possibly help me (ie: team leaders/supervisors) were away at a MOUNTAIN RETREAT in KANANASKIS!!! wtf?? at deadline??? enought said.

with no time to go to the loo do you think i had time to have lunch? heh. i popped a mini-bag of microwave popcorn @ 14:30 and managed to choke that down. my brain just completely shut off after food was consumed. it just protested and wouldn't even focus. is it worth it? is this job worth everything that i have been feeling lately? i've been thinking a lot about a career move in the last few months. not that i want out of oil & gas. i just think i want out of accounting. there are a few things that i am VERY interested in within the oil and gas industry and i am beginning to pursue something in that direction. i just don't think... no, I KNOW that this is NOT what i want out of a career. it is something that i can *do*, it is something that has afforded me great opportunity but it isn't something that i want to define me. and before it does, i want to move on. i want it to be MY choice. there were several times today where i was on the brink of tears of frustration. i stopped myself. nah, it isn't worth it.

as i sit here now and realize what a completely shit day i had, i know it is only one among many damn good ones, i do know this. i count my blessings in knowing that today is *over*. i got a bulk of my work completed. the one POS property is still wonked out, but i have a time tomorrow morning to *really* concentrate on it and figure it out. my mind just wasn't in such a great space from the time i realized my wallet was missing. the GOOD NEWS is that it was where i left it. phew phew. nothing was taken. even the $32 that was stuffed into it was still there. all cards are present and accounted! no ben wahs on the way. i can begin to release the knot that has been pressing on my back all day and breathe...

so now i sit. listening to some very wonderful ulver and mellowing out... im thankful for my blessings... im thankful for my trials... i know it's just another day and it isn't the end of the world... i can just see it from here... ;)

I've got soul...

You Are a Seeker Soul

You are on a quest for knowledge and life challenges. You love to be curious and ask a ton of questions. Since you know so much, you make for an interesting conversationalist. Mentally alert, you can outwit almost anyone (and have fun doing it!). Very introspective, you can be silently critical of others. And your quiet nature makes it difficult for people to get to know you. You see yourself as a philosopher, and you take everything philosophically. Your main talent is expressing and communicating ideas. Souls you are most compatible with: Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

I'm not worthy...

Thanks to Karyn for this point to blogthings...

Your Life Is Worth...

$802,500

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

A Love Affair with Jack...

For shits and giggles I went into the Christmas Store today!
They had their holiday music playing tunes like
"Here Comes Satan Claws" and
"Rudolph the Red-nosed and Alcoholic Reindeer".

I immediately went to the scarapharnelia.

The Hallowe'en decor.
The spiders.
The dead trees.
The ghouls and goblins.
It was like being in a candy store.
Hallowe'en is positively my most favouritest of all "holidays".
It is MY Christmas!


I throw a Hallowe'en party every year
and decorate my house with
webbing and spiders and pumpkins!  Oh my!
This year, on display, they had
THE COVETED Hallowe'en item.
A dark and tattered black tree covered from
trunk to tip with black fuzzy spiders.  I giggled like a 3 year old and
laced my fingers together mischievously,
"You will be mine.  Oh yes, you will be mine!"
I patted the tree tenderly and blew kisses to a few spiders.


Only 37 more sleeps until my Hallowe'en party and 41 sleeps
until Hallowe'en itself!!
Wheeeee!  I mean...
WooooOOOoooo!!

Oh the weather outside is frightful!

And I find it so delightful!

When your favourite season approaches
there seems to be something inside of you
that makes your step a little more springy, your smile a bit
wider and your overall mood just... BETTER.  I am feeling the winter
coming quickly.  Maybe it is speed at which fall was thrust upon us and
that I can smell the snow wanting to fall or maybe it is because I now
feel cozy wearing long-sleeves and full-length pants.  I love putting on
my toque and feeling the north wind whipping around me.  It is very
comforting and very much like home.

I ran into some busmates the other day.  I haven't seen them in a while
b/c I have been getting in later to downtown and consequently I have
been leaving later too.  I was happy to see them as I was dressed in my
rain coat and toque and hopped in front of them
and flashed them a huge smile.
"Oh THERE she is!!", one exclaimed.  "Look at the smile on her
face while everyone around her is freezing!"

I laughed.  Ahhh, my reputation is still intact.

"Oh, don't be such a grumbly bear!" I said.
"Doesn't this weather just make you feel *alive*?!?!"

I got a few Disapproving Stares (tm).  Heh.  Yay me!
Contrary to my own popular opinion of myself, I sometimes care what
other people think.  And as long as they're thinking that I'm Odd (tm),
I'm pretty much alright with that. ;)

My NW

My Nohari Window

International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Avast, matey!!

Set sails for Tortuga!! And hope we won't be dining in Davy Jones' Locker tonight!

I dunno, I think it should be
International DRESS Like A Pirate Day!!
YUM!!!

If you want to speak as cool as I do... go here, savvy?

Bad Pirate! Naughty Pirate!

What did the Pirate say to Louis Riel?




Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggg Metis!

My JW

I did this a while back, but totally forgot the address so I didn't post it, so I made another one!!
I wish they had "flakey" as a choice.
Feel free to fill it out, based on what you know about me.

My Johari Window

rule #89: if you have nothing nice to say, talk about the weather...

there are a lot of cities that make the same claim that calgary does:

"if you don't like the weather, just wait 5 minutes"

in all fairness, in calgary, this is MOST CERTAINLY true.

in one day (not today) it went from clear sunny skies, to cloudy and windy, to rain, to hail, to sleet, to snow and back to sunshine again. our weather can change by up to +/-20°C in a couple of hours. we are home to the infamous chinook wind that brings in a beautiful arch of clouds over the city and of course, the infamous "chinook headache".

and today...
it SNOWED!
how lovely is that?!?!?! i am currently giddy and gleeful. all my goth friends will disown me.
i'm a fan of cold weather. i'm a lover of dreary weather. i am smiling madly while people are grumbling about the cold and miserable effects of nature.
i am SO VERY ready for winter right now. damn summer heat. die. oh summer weather, it is SO AWN!

the elusive yoga mat

so i've started a yoga class @ my work during noon hour on fridays. i absoloooovely luff it. but i've had to borrow guggsy's yoga mat in the interim. the past while i have been on a rather labourous task to find a yoga mat. not that ago you had only one kind of mat to "choose":
plain. blue. blah.
now, there are SO MANY to choose from. all sorts of colour, atyles, weights, functions, etc. it has become, in a way, rather ridiculous. and my quest, as i have chosen to accept it, has been to find the right mat that feels right with my chi/cha/cho/chu and outfit (kidding!).
however this search, to find something that i find pleasing and relaxing, has proven to be more daunting that i imagined. it appears that, along with me, everyone has hopped onto the yoga train and bought up all the lovely mats! what "selection" is left is rather dismal:
plain. blue. blah.
my search has taken me to several stores that i, otherwise, do not frequent. ie) wal*mart. i followed lead after lead only coming to one sad end after another. until at last... *cue heavenly choir* EUREKA!! (this bath-water is cold!)
my colour of choice is green. that lovely fern colour that you can spot in the photo. it is divinely soothing, dont you think??

i am totally excited to wear out that "new yoga mat" smell!

ZEN.......

WoW(heee)!

my new character in World of Warcraft


this is my smack...
this is my spank...
this is my crack...
this is my drug of choice, folks...

can i buy an option?

stupid emotional posts should be monitored on blogspot.

i do not retract what i wrote, but once it was vented, clarity set in and i was done.

i think there should be a hormonal-balance test you need to do before you make some posts.

perhaps windows can *finally* make use of their annoying "Warning" pop-up windows:

"Warning: You are about to post something that has scored you in the 89%ile on the emotional Pritchard Scale. Are you sure you want to post this entry?"

And you can click the following options:

A. Fuck off, of course I do, you sodding bastard!
B. Ehm, good point, let me think about this (pause for 10 minutes and window pops up again).
C. Absolutely not! Thank you for saving my blogging reputation as a hard-ass bitch/asshole!
D. No, and please get me a midol/beer.

i'm not a person that lives on regrets and nor says something they don't mean, so i stand by my post. just wanted to send out my own little disclaimer.

An Ode to Nazareth (well, sort of)

I think I'm a damn good listener. I'm not standing on a mountaintop screaming my praises. But if someone comes to me and needs to just talk/vent/complain/scream/cry or whatever, I think I do a good job as a friend and listen to what they have to say. And maybe that's my problem with some people. I've spent too long listening and not enough sharing. But I am an extremely private person. If I've decided that I am going to share something about my private life then I figure there is some reason to trust you. Maybe it's b/c you've trusted me so much. Or maybe it's just that, now, I feel comfortable sharing parts of what makes me who I am.
You know, I admit to not *always* being on the ball and being able to listen with all of my senses. Sometimes I am distracted. BUT (und zees izz a beeg butt!), I'll always try to revert back to you and what you're going through.
When I'm brushed aside, I feel insignificant and it diminishes a part of whatever trust I had in you. I feel that whatever it is that I am holding so dear to me and a secret from so many people is completely inconsequential. And you wonder why it is that I am closed off. Private. Living behind this wall.
You know, my demons are kept close. Within my own reach. And I deal with those on my own. But the things I choose to share, although they might not seem as large or significant as other people's problems, I assure you... ARE.
It hurts.

November

The past we seek some certainty
The seasons we remember
The light of May and darkest days
The month we call November

To leave behind the wasted time
And every bad decision,
And harder still, some force of will
To feel we are forgiven

But something stays
So who am I to say
There's nothing more between us?
And I don't know the reasons.

Nothing's clear.
I've come to no conclusions.
Said and done -
Is it all said and done?

So here we are, not very far
From when we said forever.
And all we have, this restless past,
The month we call November.

"November" - by Duncan Sheik


(dedicated to a /log)

WoW!

I have been playing a very highly addictive game on the internet with a friend from Europe. For D&D and Fantasy geeks you may know this game as WoW. For others, it will be simply known as "Another Thing for Geeks to Do"... Something to which you would have the response of... "OMG! STFU, n00bzzz!" I am ever so 1337!

I LOVE THIS GAME!

I have logged too many embarassing hours to admit, yet... I cannot get enough. So much that last night my dreams were riddled with my character's quests and adventures. I found myself bouncing around in my sleep and waking up thinking I was stuck in CGI-world! -and a bit disappointed that I wasn't!

Now, my skill level is sufferingly low and I thank my dear friend Arjen for helping me so much through the beginning stages as I fumble through this game and learn its nuances.

But I just *have* to tell you how simply amazing this game is. I am not a gamer, but any stretch of the imagination!! I am a D&D geek though. I love fantasy RPGs and thought I would be VERY intimidated by the whole MMORPGs... I am!! But it isn't as difficult as I thought it would be (thanks, Arjen!).

So, here is a screenshot of my character...Innit she CUTE??

And if I'm not around for the next while then at least you'll know why. I'll be lost in the realms of WoW!

The Turning

The last firepit of the summer brings a bit of a sombre feeling and the smell of the smoke still lingers in my hair and on my skin as I type this blog.
I will be happy to see the warm weather change to cool and then usher in my favourite season: Winter...
But for now, I lament the flames of summer as they sink into the dying embers...

the fuschia shock

this colour certainly achieved more than a bit of shock. ha! i got a lot of "ohhhh myyyyy gaaawwwds" and quite a few "wow, i absolutely LOVE that" and of course the ever-popular
disapproving stare...
heh! ;)
the one thing about working in downtown, corporate calgary is that it is a dolce & gabbana spectacle. being one of the few out there that do not conform to the whole power-suit/corporate-dress/rat-race lifestyle is a bit relieving, to be honest.
not to mention, rather entertaining!
this colour is called fuschia shock and it is brought to you by manic panic. there is no need to adjust your monitors kids, it is actually *that* colour...

Manic Panic: Hais colour is tested on celebrities, not animals! (tm)