the daily commute

a man sat next to me on the express coming home today. i could smell him while he was within 10 feet of my nostrils. it was horrible. drenched he was, in something that had to have been called: eau de 1970's.

as i sat in the corner of the bus my head began to pulse. the cilia in my nostrils disintegrated into ash and my eyes started to tear. through the saline, i began to hallucinate of giant, bobbing, permed-fuzzy hair and bright, unnatural-coloured leisure suits. the scent somehow made its way into my bloodstream and deep into the core of my medula oblongata where upon it hijacked my sense of reason and created disco balls out of thin air, flashing rainbow lights and a soundtrack that consisted of the jackson five meets jethro tull.

i've never done acid, but I can imagine this is what it must feel like...

the man exited the express about 2/3 through my evening commute but his scent lingered. like a monstrous wafting cloud of toxic vapour... upon exiting at my own stop, i escaped the cleverly disguised gas chamber and inhaled deeply -*gassssssp* but to my displeasure i manage to catch a mouth full of carbon monoxide from a passing vehicle in dire need of a tune-up...

i feel like i've ingested a vat of embalming fluid... well, at least when i die i know that it will be either very cheap to preserve me or i'll light up light up faster than a roman candle!
*whoosh*