two ships...

i have these dreams. and if any of you know me, you know that i dream super-bizarre things. but these dreams are quite real to me. these dreams make me relive, over and over, the feelings, thoughts, experiences that i had so many years ago. now, i don't believe in "meant to be's" i believe in opportunities and the power of timing. i think we make and choose our own fate rather than some mysterious force finding us and bringing us, by the hand, to the places we ought to be. but i am a person that wonders sometimes about the "what-if's". these dreams just give that one what-if a bit more meat. now, the whole psychology behind theses thoughts is well understood, but its weird how the mind can make all rational thought take flight in the presence of certain memories whether conscious or sub-conscious. life has a few funny twists in it and i have to say that although i've missed the boat on a few of them i have caught my fair share of ferries that have taken me to places i didn't even think i'd ever go. it's a matter of opportunity and timing and a little something called courage. ferries tend to only stay in port for a short period of time. you blink and hesitate at the wrong moment and you could easily miss a ride to an amazing destination. but who knows. sometimes we end up hopping on the wrong one and taking a small detour, perhaps something we shouldn't have experienced or didn't want to experience. either way, good or bad, an adventure or misadventure, at least you're taking a chance. these dreams remind me of a chance i didn't take. maybe it's a reminder to be grateful for the things i presently have; obviously, if different choices were made i certainly wouldn't be where i am today. maybe it's a reminder of something that i completely missed out on and should have sunk myself into and hung on to for dear life. or maybe it's just me reliving feelings and experiences that were held close to my heart and were very much a part of who i was at the time and who i have become today. whatever it is, i'm so thankful that i can dream about it; even if it isn't my reality, it at least reminds of a time when it was once very very real. yes, that ship has sailed, but it's nice to know we still pass each other in the night...