Greedmas(tm)

blog... BLOG? blog, you say? wtf.
what could i possibly blog about.

then it comes to me. in a flash of red & green. Greedmas(tm) shopping.

what annoys the living fuck out of me are the people that are just out there to spend the money on friends and family but not give any thought into whatever they have chosen to buy. they claw and bite for the last gift basket of super-smelly bath bubble or 10,000 year old fruit cake!!! (on a side note, i'm quite positive the first and ONLY fruitcake to have ever been made dates back approximately 10,000 years and has been floating around ever since; mulitplying and reproducing in its evil fashion and from henceforth shall be known as EvilFruitCake(tm))

trust me, i'm not a greedy person. i would rather have people buy themselves something nice and not even concern themselves with getting me anything. usually, if i see something i want, i'll just pick it up. which, i guess makes me the difficult person on the shopping list. i just dont like the MASS consumerism of the Season(tm). not to say we aren't bombarded daily with blatant and not so blatant suggestions to purchas items. Greedmas(tm) just seems to bring out the animal that is also known as The Greedmas Shopper.

The Greedmas Shopper (n.) Th-uh G-rrrrr-EEEE-d-MUS SH-hop-herrrr

The Greedmas Shopper can be spotted in any and all aisle of any and all stores. Bogged down with gifts aplenty, The Greedmas Shopper usually resembles a Sherpa. Poised @ the cash counter with credit cards in hand, The Greedmas Shopper can be found maxing out Mastercards and Visas alike. Armed with sharpened elbows, claws and often disguised as helpless old ladies, The Greedmas Shopper will pass up no opportunity to hip-check, tackle or beat you to a bluddy pulp of a human in order to make that purchase. The Greedmas Shopper can also be armed with various weapons such as the shopping cart, the shopping basket, bags (sometimes faux-filled) from previous exploits and conquests. Even items from said shopping cart and/or basket can be used against others so long as the items are inconsequential to spreading Greedmas joy. Beware.

enjoy your Greedmas(tm) shopping People(tm)!