Another Brick In The Wall

Miss Mox...

2011-07-06T22:38:00.005-06:00

Mox... Miss Mox... Boxie Moxie... Moxercise... Moxxles... Sloot... Little Houdini... Moxie...

R.I.P. Moxie
July 1, 1997 - July 6, 2011

Moxie was a part of my life since she was 5 weeks old. Today I had to let her go. Her overall health was getting poor (although she was still very spry and agile) but her mental health was fast deteriorating.
She was a brilliant cat, really.
A master escape artist who once ATE A DOOR...
She was a high flying acrobat.
Leader of the pack in the house.
Destroyer of $300 jeans.
She once ate an entire plate of barbequed hamburgers.
She killed a bumblebee the size of my big toe and displayed it for me conveniently on the stairway out of my basement room when I lived with my cousin.
She loved to sit in any kind of box and chill out.
She loved to lick plastic bags and usually @ 2am.
She once killed a swallow which her doggy sister Pheebs promptly ate and then promptly vomited back up again in front of a room of guests at a summer barbeque.
She moved along with me to California during my restless years (she was a part of the "everything I own" - which was a hockey bag of clothes and assorted items, a suitcase and my cat & her kennel).

There is no way to sum up fourteen years worth of memories. But I will never forget the day she picked me out at the SPCA. A room full of cats and people - all wide-eyed... THE QUESTION running over everyone's faces: "Which one am I going to take home?" I didn't have to make it. I walked through the room, peered in every kennel and cage, and as I approached her cage filled with her and 5 kittens she started to meow at me. She climbd and pulled herself up onto the wire of the cage and meowed her very... unique... meow. SHE picked ME. It was really a no-brainer.

I will miss you Mox... Give 'em hell up there!

<3 Mumma

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have.

2011-05-25T03:44:00.003-06:00

my hometown is on fire

2011-05-17T22:11:00.003-06:00

...well, technically there are still hotspots remaining in the ashes of the 40% that was burned to the ground this week...

this link will show you more...

my afternoon

2011-05-10T17:56:00.003-06:00

it was a beautiful 16C outside this afternoon and i chose to spend it inside a movie theatre :)

the movie was well done to be quite honest. and i am not just saying that because "thor" has a body upon which you just want to lick off warm chocolate sauce and whipped cream. oh, no. it was quite well done.

and please, don't trick yourself into thinking this movie would be better in 3D. it's only in 3D just because it can be in 3D.

seriously people, stop drinking the damn kool-aid.

May the 4th Be With You...

2011-05-04T02:57:00.003-06:00

feeling inspired to make something

2011-05-01T18:03:00.001-06:00

so i decided on "blueberry bannock"
so noms!

dreaming

2011-02-16T00:58:00.004-07:00

last night i dreamed of my sister. since july i've had 3 dreams where she is present.

in the first dream i was at work running around from office to office trying to get some important things done and her and my grandmother (the one my family was closest to) were following me around waiting for me to be done so we could leave. they were eating ice cream and being very patient. i don't know where we were going, but somehow, when i woke up, i knew they were together and that gave me comfort. to be perfectly honest, i don't believe in heaven or hell. eternal salvation or eternal damnation is a savage concept in my mind. i truly believe that if there is a heaven, only dogs belong there.

in the second dream i was at her house and she was on her couch in her jammers and i remember only us talking. but it was still rather nice.

last night's dream was weird. i dreamed she 'came back to life'. but not in the zombie apocalypse way. what happened was i received an email from a hospital telling me that she was ready to be released. this was my "second notice", as it were. i was reviewing the police report and also the coroner's report and her medical records. it turned out, in my dream, when they arrived with her to the hospital after the car accident she was presumed dead. they were all ready to send her to the morgue but she started showing signs of life and they transferred her to a hospital in a city far away from her home. she was in a coma. no one notified us that she went to the hospital and we continued to set out arrangements for her funeral and it went planned as usual. i was going over her papers while in a church at a family wedding and i was thinking it was very odd that no one notified us and i was very angry but at the same time i was so elated that i had my sister back! i couldn't be angry for long and then i would focus on having her back and be so ecstatic with that and the anger would lift. i also kept thinking "oh my god, who's ashes do we have???" because that was really freaky. since everything she owned we donated to family or charities it was decided she would come live with me. i couldn't be happier. now, i don't know what that means on a psychological level. to be truthful, i don't think it means entirely too much. i don't believe in the hocus pocus of dream analysis. i think that our dreams are made up as an unedited stream of consciousness that weaves through our recent and and perhaps deep-seeded thoughts. but i do remember one thing very, very clearly. i didn't want to wake up. i just wanted my sister back.

i've come to accept that she is "gone". i'll never see her again, and although that hurts like a punch in the face and burns my heart like a white-hot branding iron, i know that the imprint she has left on my life is bigger and stronger and more wonderful than any of the pain that comes with losing her. i accept losing her easier on the days when that wonderful feeling actually does outweigh the pain. and yah, time is beginning to heal the gaping wound on my heart in very small ways. but that dream reminded me how far i still need to go in order to wake up with a smile after i dream of her and not tears.

*sigh*

My Pheebs...

2010-12-25T05:41:00.006-07:00

Last night... on Xmas Eve... I rushed my dog, Pheebs, to the animal hospital as she couldn't walk and was in some obvious stress... An hour and a half later I came home without her... Not so shocked and yet still shocked. She died from hemangiosarcoma that was formed around her heart and started bleeding out. There were no signs, no warnings... Just the knowledge that her brother died in October from the same form of cancer, but this was on his spleen and he lived for 2 months after his diagnosis. I didn't have that luxury. I couldn't bring her home and spoil her silly for the rest of her short life. I couldn't throw the ball around with her one last time. Or cuddle with her on the couch. Give her handfuls of treats. Give her too many kisses. I held her in my arms and told her over and over and over what a good doggies she is... How Mummy loved her so so much... Gave her neck scratches and kissed her goodbye as she went still... *sigh*

Her sister Zoe has been looking for her, waiting for her, watching the door for her, checking all the floors in the house for her... It breaks my heart.

She leaned on her so much and they were best friends.

I love you forever my ginger girl... xoxoxo ..my Nugget

Phoebe
March 5, 2001 - December 24, 2010

Climbing...?

2010-10-05T22:38:00.003-06:00

I've let my life spiral. Winding down and down and down. I've dug a hole a foot wide and a mile deep and I'm staring up at nothing but a pinhole. It's time I climb out.

Thinking "positively" seems so foreign to me now. Not that I was ever really the cheer-leading type. But I am human and my candy-coated exterior is not candy. It is a hardened shell of cynicism and I am smothered with it. Reality abides.

I know am allowed to exist as I have made myself but I also have tasted the poisoned kool-aid of my negative thoughts. I am not blinded to the harshness of "it all" so when beauty emerges it is bright and beautiful and impossible to miss. I am just hoping that injecting more positive thoughts into my mind I will be able to lift the veil that has muted these bright and beautiful moments.

...

2010-09-13T06:16:00.002-06:00

it has been 2 months today since my sister died. my whole world feels different. very much altered. i feel different inside and i really try not to think about it. right now, thinking about those things leads me down a very slippery slope. i knew that mourning is a very different experience when you lose someone. each person's loss has some significance than the last person's. when my grandmother died (my father's mother) in 1995 that was my first experience with death. it was new and it was painful and it wasn't easy to understand. her death was expected. she had been sick for a while but the impact it had was still so surprising. i lost my last grandparent in june 2010 (a month before my sister) and although i cared very little for this man (my mother's father) that was called my grandfather i still felt a tremendous loss. the last of the older generation in my family was gone. and that left a hole in my life that is difficult to explain. i never liked the man, he was mean and rude and a horrible person but he fathered 10 children... who in turn had 36 grandchildren... who in turn had 43 great grandchildren... who in turn had 11 great great grandchildren... that's a huge legacy to leave behind... anyway, his death was sad to me for different reasons other than losing someone of great importance to me (that may sound harsh, but it is the truth)... he left behind a sense that something more than a life was lost... that all 4 of my grandparents stood as pillars of some sort and those were now no longer standing. my first grandmother's death changed my family forever. she was the glue that kept everyone together, the whip that kept everyone in line and the source of all that made us 'family'.
i'm rambling... ugh. and i know none of this probably any sense. they're just thoughts connected by a very fine thread of consistency.
with syn dying... it's losing something more to me than i ever thought possible. my shared childhood is now just my childhood. she understood what it was like to be in my family. she understood things no one else could possibly understand. she was my 'buffer'. she had to deal with my parents on a daily basis - something i haven't had to do in almost 20 years. she was reporting on the front line of their daily life where i got the highlight reel once a week. she made my life easier in ways i didn't even know. just a look of understanding. a raised eyebrow. a cynical laugh. a childish giggle. she knew. we weren't much as sisters growing up. we honestly fought sometimes with the intent of taking the other to the brink of death (or severe dismemberment). we were night and day when it comes to most of our personality traits. but as we got older (and to be honest, when she got clean and sober) our relationship changed dramatically. seeing each other through clear eyes we saw our similarities and were able to put aside our differences if not even embrace them. we had a rocky, bumpy, scary road for many years but we reached the junction where things turned smooth and we were able to enjoy each other as people... as sisters. and dammit... these short years were not enough for us. i miss her so much... and that doesn't even do it justice. i ache all over because she is gone. my past and my future is blurred... i mourn for the time we will NOT have together. and god... her daughter... my niece. i can't think about the loss because that would send me over the edge right now..............
there is this syn shaped hole in my life. and i know i can't fill it with anything, i just have to figure out how to maneuver around it, move with it...
damnit...

R.I.P. My Siser...

2010-07-15T23:47:00.004-06:00

My sister died in a car accident on Tuesday morning...
There are no words to describe the feeling inside my heart at this moment. There is no way that anyone can tell me that this feeling will become any less right now. I miss her with an ache that can't be soothed... I understand that grief is a selfish thing and I'm ok with being selfish for now...

Love you to the moon and back...

the dice are trying to kill me...

2010-07-11T22:27:00.005-06:00

every third saturday i have a standing dungeons and dragons date for uber nerdgasm action!

yes, old school (well, v4) dungeons and dragons campaign - the books, the rules, the maps, the character sheets and yes...
THE DICE...

so... 7 brave adventurers set forth to conquer a world of unknown magicks and mysteries...
i play a level 6 (almost level 7) eladrin druid... my party consists of a warlock, a goliath, a cleric, a thief, a mage and a warlord... some are hybrid classes but that's the basic party make-up.

here is a pic of one of our encounters on saturday... we haxx awesome ambush!

(my miniature is the watermelon wielding turtle!! --inside joke--)
sorry about crap quality, the pic was taken with my blackberry

i am known to be the person who makes the worst rolls... some days i can't roll over a 10!!! which suuuuucks... so on saturday i wore my new t-shirt that says "the dice are trying to kill me"... i think it might be my lucky charm because the failhawk actually managed to land some awesome shots along with my chill wind and summoned wolverine!!

oh oh oh -- to be a nerd of huge proportions takes a lot of skill, people...
and i haxx mad skillzzzz!

ugh

2010-06-25T18:02:00.002-06:00

females over the age of 12 should NOT wear pigtails... (unless in costume) seriously, it doesn't look "cute"... it isn't "whimsical"... just don't do it anymore, mmmk?

It's curtains for you Dr. Horrible. Lacy, gently wafting curtains.

2010-05-25T21:38:00.003-06:00

Well, at least the curtain lifts for me on Sunday May 30th!
I am uber geeking-out!

it goes on and on and on, heaven and hell

2010-05-16T19:58:00.004-06:00

R.I.P.

Ronnie James Dio

\m/

i less than three geekgasms

2010-05-04T18:16:00.001-06:00

good. so how do you tell whether she is made of wood? build a bridge out of her.

2010-04-19T18:17:00.004-06:00

a friend of mine's fiance gave birth to their first child together yesterday afternoon. i am excited for him if that's what he wants. most people know how i feel about human offspring... i don't. one naive thing about this friend's foray into the abyss that is parenthood is that he said that he "won't let it [parenthood] stop him from doing things [he] wants like traveling"... errrr... my response was "oh, well you can still go, i'm sure, but it will be very expensive packing the family around europe for a month..." he said "oh no, i'll still go on my own." heh. heh. heh. oh yes. i can see that floating about as well as "very small rock" .

so i bought his new daughter a prezzie:

this is a tulu hoberman rattle from www.thinkgeek.com (home for all your geeky necessities, of course -- i spend entirely too much money here)... i usually try to buy educational gifts for kids. yah, i hear the booing and hissing already. but let me be clear. my personal experience with learning was filled with fun! i used to do my sister's homework for her, i would yoink the books she brought home from english class for fun reading, i would ask for extra work to do in class or the teacher would get me to help check the other students' work. anyway, i prefer to get fun and educational toys. this particular toy is built on the principles of the hoberman's sphere and i have seen kids playing with this toy and absolutely loving it. considering this new human's genetic pool, it should really get all the help it can................. oh kidding................... maybe.

and ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure

2010-04-15T19:25:00.002-06:00

so yah... that whole 'no stress' thing... well, it worked for the day that i said i would do it. the thing is, i had to re-enter reality on the monday with said reality biting me ever-so-kindly (read: harshly) on the ass. the week has been insanely stress-filled. the twitching started up again, the headache persisted, the pain radiated over the right side of my face. this morning i woke up with my mouth visibly 'fallen'. at the moment i maintain muscle control, some moments rather well and others rather shaky. i called my acupuncturist and thank goodness she had a free slot @ 5:30pm. i walked into the acu-clinic and was greeted with that soothing scent of chinese oils and herbs. the familiar lullaby music playing subtly over her p.a. system, the lovely heat lamp placed over my 'hellraiser' face... please cross all fingers and toes that this ounce will work!!

no stress

2010-04-11T10:55:00.002-06:00

yesterday and today i've had a pretty bad headache... well "faceache"... since my bell's palsy incident 2 years ago i'm very very conscious about how i feel stress in my body. usually i carry tension over my back. my back is full of knots that won't come out and is not pliable at all... but since bell's i notice how much i carry tension around my face and head. when under a lot of stress the left side of my face responds slower to movements than my right... and sometimes when it's really bad the right side of my face can't stop twitching around the 7th cranial nerve that runs into the face. my acupuncturist said this is manifesting the stress from the left side as well. the initial bell's palsy pain started in my left eyebrow and then across my cheek and jaw and in the last couple days i have been feeling the stress in my eyebrow again... today is going to be a relaxing day... the rule is: no stress.

i had a bad day, dear...

2010-04-09T19:42:00.003-06:00

so yah... i did...
giant weaseltards spewing corporate lingo and idiocy...
i ranted to a friend on msn...
here is part of the conversation...

warning: this conversation is officially rated... "Messed Up"

V says:
i hope he swallows the giant cocks he keeps sucking and they puncture a hole in his intestinal wall and his body is flooded with toxins and shit
T... says:
you're really cheery tonight
V says:
i hope all his teeth fall out and his face caves in and he swallows his own fucking head
i had a bad day, dear
T... says:
nothing i say will change that, but still, ill try to get you in a better mood
I play golf
V says:
take pics
T... says:
I told my boss my eyes were caught in the gravitational field around her boobs
V says:
did she cum?
T... says:
she laughed
V says:
she came
----------
(and later)
----------
T... says:
i crushed his hand heh
was a weak wimp
V says:
i bet he came too
T... says:
oh you know everyone around me comes
V says:
well duh
T... says:
cept me, i only leave
V says:
ha
sorry
visual
T... says:
:P
V says:
and it can stop now
ahahahaha
it's not stopping
hahahahahahaha
that's awesome
T... says:
never ever ever eeeeeeeeeeever!
V says:
random balcony
ha
oops
you fell into the pool below
well, 1/2 of you did
T... says:
must have been Mr Dickins
V says:
buttered side down
ok that visual made me laugh
you can go to bed now
T... says:
yeeeeeeeeees
good nightness
V says:
yupyup
-------------------------
sometimes it just takes something weird to turn the day at least back to it's usual tilted self...

on cloning and regrets...

2010-04-04T13:20:00.002-06:00

sometimes i wish i could split myself into multiple people. or maybe clone myself. then i could be in all the places i wanted to be. and then where would the real me be? some central hub where all other me's would download their information into so i could experience it all? i don't know for sure... but sometimes i want my cake and eat it too, dammit... i regret that i can't.
i miss being with too many people
i miss doing too many things
i miss seeing too many places
i wish i could experience it all
one lifetime is never enough to explore and capture all the memories i want to create.
i wish it were. i'm sorry it isn't. maybe in another life? maybe i will come back as a bananaslug...?

Auchtung!

2009-07-27T12:27:00.016-06:00

Berlin was... brilliant.

Brandenburg Gate

Bebelplatz
I happened to be there on May 10th, 2009, exactly 76 years to the day that Hitler held his book burning ceremony here - across from Humboldt University.

Check-Point Charlie

Auchtung!

The Eastside Gallery
I still remember the day the wall came down. And I remember walking down the street in the middle of the night with a friend of mine - we had such big ideas in such a small-minded town and we were such geeks - we passed by the local bar right as it was closing and we were screaming at the top of our lungs "UNITE EAST AND WEST GERMANY!!". No one (well, probably not many) where I grew up cared about such things. It was pretty amazing to be walking along the wall in the 20th anniversary year of it's dramatic fall.

Please do not bbq in front of the Reichstag... Apparently that's common...?

The Reichstag
Notice there are no bbqs.

Berliner Dom
It was such a beautiful day. I couldn't bring myself to step inside any of the dozens of museums on Museum Island (except the DDR museum, but it was small). Sat outside in the square by the fountain staring up at the clouds with this amazing view of Berliner Dom, the fountain mist spraying over me, listening to tour guides and people... So relaxing. One of my favourite moments.

Schloss Sansoucci
Ostentatious. Completely and utterly over-the-top insanely and unbashedly grandiose.

Keukenhof
After Germany went next door to The Netherlands where I met some guildies again. Many beers were consumed. It was a great time.
Then I was taken to see tulips!! Huzzah! 2 days before the place closed for the year. It was purdy!

The North Sea
Noordwijk is super-close to Keukenhof (well, in Canadian terms of super-close) so decided to stick my feet into the North Sea! This was also one of my most favourite moments.

So many photos. It is really difficult to edit which ones to share...

have you ever

2009-01-13T17:21:00.001-07:00

thought you were so ugly that it has to be some sort of disease?

An open letter (again)...

2009-01-10T20:35:00.002-07:00

...to the person who bought the "Glade - Vanilla Passion" air deodorizer for the ladies' washroom at work:

Dear Epic Fail,
I thank you most sincerely for your attempt to help disguise the vile and toxic fumes that creep up and out the floor drain in our bio-hazardous washroom. However, as mentioned in the previous blog there is only one room that ought to emanate the scent of vanilla and, unless your kitchen also contains your toilet, the washroom should indeed not be the aforementioned room.

This letter would not be complete if I did not mention that the absolute and utter failure to reproduce the scent of vanilla still remains. No product exists... no candle, no air freshener, no incense, no bath bubble, no perfume, no scented oil... that has managed to recreate the actual true and delicious scent that is vanilla. And regardless of these statements the most important of all is that the false scent emitting from this container should never be mixed with the scent of pooh!

Sincerely,

Gagging Co-worker

Random Thoughts...

2009-01-10T00:04:00.004-07:00

People who do not know how to read a newspaper ought to be tossed into a giant blender. They would make better use of themselves as fertilizer and mulch than as human beings.
"Vanilla" scented perfume does NOT smell like vanilla. Vanilla should strictly be used for baking and not for bathing. You actually smell like a very bad science experiment.
Xmas should not start on November 1st and last through until January 1st. Soon after Xmas decorations are taken off the shelf they are then replaced by a sha-hed-load Valentine's day crap! Can we, please, just STOP with all the effing commercialism already? Why do you think the economy is how it is in the first place?
I've officially decided that Entertainment Tonight has more news credibility than CNN.
Not matter how far we have come in the whole 'equal rights' movement, I still think it's a great thing when men hold open doors for women.
If you have never experienced the wonder of the Canadian Classic "Anne of Green Gables" on film then I suggest that you do.
I'm still hoping that my favourite black hat that I lost 2 years ago will somehow mysteriously appear in my hat/mitten/scarf bin.
2008 was super suckage in the way of films for a few exceptions: Burn After Reading, The Dark Knight, Religulous, Wall-e, Sweeney Todd, Juno (but I think that was 2007)...
You can never go home.
You can never solve your parents' problems; you can just try to raise them right and hope they make the best decisions on their own.
I am able to keep plants alive! Finally, after 15+ years, many failed attempts, mass suicides and grisly slayings, I have managed to keep 6 plants alive and in relatively good health too. My secret: finding plants that are impossible to kill!
The food network is one of my favourite channels. I can't cook exotic meals, but I imagine myself being able to follow the instructions of these culinary masters and create mouth-watering meals. One problem I do have is that half the ingredients they use are so utterly foreign to me that I wouldn't even know the first place to look for these things at the supermarket!
Related note: Olives should be illegal.

i got a call at work...

2008-12-18T17:16:00.002-07:00

i'd like to know exactly what part of the body this doctor specializes in...

when you go 'home'...

2008-12-17T22:00:00.008-07:00

in september my favourite aunt died. she was a pretty amazing woman. i used to visit her often with my grandmother when i was a kid. technically, she is my great aunt, as she is my grandfather's youngest sister. she used to make tea and bannock (the second best bannock i have ever had - my grandmother's being, of course, the best); she loved playing her music very loud and dancing around the house; she could play a wicked tune with two spoons on her knee and jig the night away; she had a wonderfully contagious laugh; a kind heart and a collector of memories.

i hate cancer.

going back 'home' always brings up a myriad of emotions in me. there is part of me that hates that place. the constricting hold it has on my throat makes it difficult to breathe sometimes. it is a raging sea of small minds and smaller opinions and its undercurent is sometimes insurmountable. when i think of how i feel in those familiar places and seeing those familiar faces - the same, but older; easily recognizable, but weathered - my feelings are a mix of relief and panic. the crazy panic that i am missing something: missing family, missing events, missing things that might matter. then the relief that floods me know that my life is my own: my decisions, my mistakes and my mysteries.

i saw many faces when i was back for the funeral and most looked back at me slightly confused and a bit taken aback. you could almost read the expression in their eyes 'who is this person?' and many of them asked me that question directly. i was pleased to hear the following words over and over and over again, repeated dozens of times as i talked briefly with family members and old family friends: "wow, i didn't recognize you *at all*!" and "gee, it has to have been at least 15 years since i have seen you!" those words brought a comfort to me that i wasn't expecting to feel among the nervousness and anxiety i had being back in such familiar territory. i don't quite know how to process it or even if i have to, but i think i know one thing is for certain: i won.

but in the time i spent there i visited the place that i missed the most. the beach. it was my fortress of solitude, my escape and, often, my confidant.

it's a lovely drive.

it's a good place to come and think.

i spent hours staring off into the waves.

life, the universe, everything.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this picture is a bit special. this property used to belong to my grandparents. it is right across from the restaurant they used to own and their house is still off to the left side (not in the frame). there was a guy on top of the roof when i drove by, circling the parking lot, i think he was replacing the shingles. when i snapped this photo he stopped using his nail gun and looked down at me taking the picture. i told him that this used to be my grandparent's house and, although they sold it about 20 years ago, he smiled at me and said my grandmother's name formed into a question: "veronica?" that brought a tear to my eye. she died over 12 years ago and moved away from the town about 17 years ago. it's nice to know she has not been forgotten.

anyway... my point! the big evergreen in the middle of the shot is a tree i planted in the first grade!

Le Grande Pomme

2008-12-17T21:38:00.010-07:00

yah yah, i suck.

however, zips has been on yet another adventure...

zips was demonstrating his awesome godzilla impression.

he took in the wonderful exhibits @ the met.

he snuck into a broadway show.

enjoyed some quiet time in central park.

imagined.

met some new friends.

got acquainted with lady liberty.

he's certainly had a busy but fun year!

The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say...

2008-09-15T20:54:00.004-06:00

Richard Wright

28 July 1943 - 15 September 2008

"That sounds like something that would happen in the United States..."

2008-08-04T18:59:00.002-06:00

Why is it Canadians think that we should be immune to horrible acts of violence that humans do to each other?

Honestly, sometimes I wonder how we manage to really have this superior sense of morality.

New beginnings?

2008-07-29T22:41:00.005-06:00

It's bluddy hot here.
I mean, its HOT!

Ok, so what has been going on lately...

To be perfectly honest, my year has been full of mighty extremes... From the insanely awesome travel adventures overseas to the craptastic face-paralyzing Bell's Palsy.

Stress has been a guiding factor and it seemed to have just managed to unleash itself upon my mug. Lovely. I mean, no, it isn't Cancer. It could be Cancer. *hugs out to Grunto who has been an inspirational model* I shouldn't bitch and moan about it, but dammit, its what has happened to me. Me. And I've had to deal with having no movement of my face for over 3 months. Thanks to the wonders of acupuncture and my amazing trip overseas, the movement has come back about 60%. I look forward to more healing! But imagine what it is like to wake up one day and suddenly have 1/2 your face paralyzed... It was... indescribable.

And yah, life will be constantly filled with these sorts of moments, events, crisis, I realize that. I am not a complete numptie. I just wish they really didn't come down all at the same time.

I have been remiss. Ok, remiss isn't even the word for it, the only excuses I have for not blogging are a complete load of bollocks. However, the brilliant thing is, I hope that I am out of this anti-expressive phase. The sine wave of my blogging will probably always exist, I am not as dedicated as my Grunto friend (he's brill), but I think I am at a place where things might be able to now flow out of me, rather than just into me and get stuck in a xmas-light-tangle of emotions.

So onwards and upwards!

To infinity and beyond! (That really makes no sense, honestly... It's crap, really...)

guess where i've been...

2008-06-07T19:25:00.008-06:00

i went overseas again...

beerology

les canals...

edumacationalnessism

bike parkade!

singraven

kasteel twickel

more of your favourite turtle... zips!

2008-04-03T17:06:00.015-06:00

here is a better idea of what zips saw on his vacation to the western province of british columbia.

leaving on a jet plane...

zips was "ok" to fly, but he refused to look OUT the window once we got up in the air.
he's part turtle and part chicken.

zips went shopping to stock up on some things for the condo...
he's such a bargain finder!

zips taking a tour around courtney, bc
safety first!

zips enjoying the slightly windy weather at union bay, bc

zips eating a nanaimo bar in nanaimo, bc

he could only have one bite, it was too rich...

zips looking out over the view of cameron lake, bc

pretty isn't it??

zips says: "next stop, japan!"

zips thought this is where calamari comes from...
silly turtle...
the drive back through sutton pass was rather scary.
the rain on the coast was, of course, snow in the mountains.
the highway was almost impassible.
we saw several cars in the ditch.
one vw van was flipped on its side coming around a corner though a rather steep area.
the snowflakes were the size of my palm.
we made it safely, but we were all pretty scared'ish.
zips was keeping a watchful eye.
zips was more than relieved to get out of that mess!
we kept our focus and rewarded ourselves with some tim horton's!

zips says "bye bye" to vancouver island!

his next trip is planned for may/june... stay tuned!

what has happened..?

2008-03-29T20:22:00.003-06:00

to the days of blogging...
when we all had something to say?
so much has happened in the last while and not much of it has been good...
i will however share a picture of a very good friend of mine on a very recent vacation i took to vancouver island...

Qualicum Beach

everything should taste like bacon

2008-01-15T17:09:00.000-07:00

dream machine

Something old is new again...

2008-01-12T13:24:00.000-07:00

This is a MEME I filled out in August 2000. I found it looking through some old folders here on my work inbox. I have left my old answers on it and have filled out my current answers with the ** and in italics.

It was a weird trip down memory lane.

It's also uber long, so yah...

-------------------------------------

DO YOU ENJOY YOUR JOB?

trick question... i do like what i do, i enjoy the research and the challenges it gives me, however, i know accounting isn't something that i am going to pursue for the rest of my life... albeit the money is tempting... LOL... i am of a more artistic mind and would like to pursue my interests on a more full-time basis in the nearing future... :)

**I am no longer an accountant although I work for the same company. I bounced from being a Joint Venture Accountant to a Production Accountant and I am now a Data Integrity Analyst. I LOVE MY JOB!!! I love the fact that I have “no deadlines”, that my job pretty much involved entirely researching and finding critical data errors, helping to fix persisting problems and overall ensuring accuracy of data. I deal with all branches of the company and the industry. As for artistic notions, I do still do my artistic stuff in my spare time like photography and painting and drawing… Hopefully one day that will be what I do, but we’ll see… I do know one thing: We are in charge of our own destinies.

IF YOU COULD BE SOMEONE ELSE FOR A DAY, WHO WOULD IT BE?

this is a hard question, not for the fact that i want to be someone else, b/c i love ME, but i to choose someone that i admire and would want to spend one day as... i guess presently, i would choose many people (dead and alive) so i will just list them: Leonardo da Vinci, Sigmund Freud, Nietzsche, Emily Carr, Gertrude Stein... and as for "real people" hmmm, i guess i admire a lot of people that are in my life but to choose b/w who i could be for a day wouldn't be fair.. so, i would choose them all and for many reasons: most of my friends have extraordinary intelligence AND wisdom -each, within different capacities, and i truly believe that above any other trait (especially above physicality) intelligence is the most attractive, the most important and the least discriminatory... but i would choose to be all of them primarily so that i could have a better understanding of who they are and who i am...

**I still stand by this answer. To add to the list of these people I would say: Terry Pratchett, the cow that lives on my PC’s tower and stalks me every day... :P

GOLD OR SILVER?

Silver

**Still silver.

WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA?

oh horrible day... it was "Hollow Man" and it was ever so hollow, man!

**I’m still embarrassed by this, but I blame Melissa entirely: National Treasure (the second one). I mean, it was better than I anticipated all things considered. The first film really surprised me and I was rather entertained until the final scene of the film. Blah. This one was also entertaining but above anything else it was completely and utterly AMERICAN. ie) Breaking into the Queen’s office in Buckingham Palace is rather a simple task but going into the Oval Office *gasp horror shock* MY GOD that’s IMPOSSIBLE!... Ugh. Anyway. Sue me.

FAVORITE CARTOON CHARACTER?

Daria

** Daria and her lovely cynical ways still amuse me to no end. I also simply love Cartman.

WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR BREAKFAST?

when i get a chance to eat breakfast, and if i FEEL like breakfast, i like blueberry anything... yoghurt, scones, muffins, biscuits... hmmm, but i like bananas or cornflakes... most time though only a glass of juice...

**Breakfast consists of the “Fuel of Champions”: Coffee. And I do try to stick in something fiber-filled. Bran muffins are good; either raisin-bran or blueberry-bran. I also grab another jumbo coffee mid-morning, but this one is decaf. If the second cup is caffeinated I have a difficult time sleeping.

WHO WOULD YOU HATE TO BE LEFT IN A ROOM WITH?

people that i have not shared good experiences with, that i have had dramatic confrontation with... i would just rather NOT be around them than waste my energy breathing the same air as they are...

** Again, I have to agree with myself. Ha. But I also hasten to add I would not like to be left in the same room as myself. I think I would completely irritate myself to no end. Someone once said to me, after attempting to argue a point with me, in a fit of exasperation: “Just ONCE I’d like to see you locked in a room with yourself and see how you liked it!” My response was short, “Well, at least it would be a formidable opponent.”

CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE?

Yup

**Aye, still can and now I perform this trick for parties at a very reasonable rate.

WHO INSPIRES YOU?

__this is the long one!!!__ my friend gwen (to push yourself to achieve more), my friend shawn (to seek wisdom), mark (to hold on to conviction and to have endurance), my father (to believe in myself), jess (to love with action) john and verna (to believe in love), cheri (to believe in family), chrisy (to believe in keeping a hold of my childhood), kevin (to strive for perfection), elise (to be bold), deana (to keep confidences and know when to keep quiet), annie (to love children and maintain motivation), samantha (to reveal emotion), cheryl (to be loyal), nicole (to be honest and remember my past), jocey (to be joyous and friendly), richard (to be whimsical and thought-ful), karen (to persevere), marge (to strive for my goals and thirst for new things), andrea (to be adventurous), etc... you ALL inspire me in some fashion... i have to say that each person in my life inspires me to some extent... there are REASONS people are in my life and each one means something special to me...

**Wow, that was a list… (I actually had to edit some b/c it was just wayyyy too long). These people are still in my life to some extent. Some I have lost contact with over the years, but the truths of what I said still ring through the years and distance. I can add more… way more, but I am a pretty private person. Most of you don’t know who these people are so why do you care… but what I have learned over the years from the new people and the old people in my life, through the qualities I admire in them certainly INSPIRE me to push beyond the mould I have created of myself. Life is not about finding yourself, it is about creating yourself.

BEACH OR CITY?

oh le beach!!!

**Definitely a beach over a city ANY day. I can clarify this a bit further. Deserted beach. And neither tropical nor rocky. The white-sand beach of where I grew up is actually perfect for me. The further north along the shore you go the more rugged and feral it is. I love the tall grasses growing out of the dunes b/w the water and the birch trees. It is usually so quiet and lonely there. A great place for reflection; to lay on the sand watching the sunset and starting a fire to keep warm as the moon rises, the stars shimmer and the northern lights come out to dance on the dark blanket of night.

SUMMER OR WINTER?

Fall.

**I can go with either Winter or Fall. Winter, for the snow and the cold and the crisp feeling of the air and the smell of winter winds. Or the fall for the cooling days and relief of summer and the changing leaves.

BUTTERED, PLAIN OR SALTED POPCORN?

REAL butter... just like "The Rex Theatre" in my home-town

**Indeed. Real butter. However I do use extra light virgin olive oil as well. Popcorn made in a big stewing pot cooked in oil on the stove is THE BEST you can have.

WORST MEMORY?

the day i found out i had been betrayed by someone I thought i could trust...

**The day I was told I was “sick”. Having a “disease” makes you feel completely vulnerable, lost, victimized and totally human. Until you experience how fragile the human body we never truly ever feel like we’re “going to die” or “you are going to die FROM THIS…

BEST MEMORY?

it's a tie... realizing my independence: MY first vacation (road trip to california) or falling irrevocably in love...

**Bah. My first steps onto a new continent.

FAVORITE SANDWICH FILLING?

at the moment roast beef, but it must be an iron deficiency b/c i usually like turkey (preferrably REAL turkey)... cheese...mayo... oh hell, the whole sandwich! ;)

**Still love turkey and roast beast. I do tend to LOVE tomatoes. Toasted tomato sandwich positively rules. Tuna, of course. Duh. And wow, I have discovered the delights of cucumbers in sandwiches! Who knew? Why didn’t they tell me?

HAVE YOU ANY PETS?

yes... mother to Moxie le Wonder Cat!

**Moxie is still kicking around being the Wonder Cat of the World. And her world consists of two royal canine subjects: Pheebs (Red Heeler X) and Zozo (Pitbull X).

WHAT CHARACTERISTICS DO YOU DESPISE?

ignorance, superficiality, people that focus too much on physical appearance and not enough on character, people that complain about something but do not take action to “fix" whatever it is they are complaining about, conformity, lack of originality.

**Hmmm. Indeed. People ™. Heh. Seriously, I have an aversion to stupidity. As I get older I find there is absolutely no excuse for not having basic common sense. “I am only eight years old” is no excuse! I really abhor “charmers”, the slimy kind that think they can get you to do crap for them b/c they use more hair product than you do and call you “sweetie” and toss you a wink. They make my skin crawl. I also vehemently despise people who wallow in self-pity.

FAVORITE FLOWER?

Daisies

**Aye. Daisies.

IF YOU HAD A BIG WIN ON THE LOTTERY HOW LONG WOULD YOU LEAVE IT BEFORE YOU TOLD PEOPLE?

i would start calling the people that are closest to me as soon as i regained consciousness...

**Yeh, I don’t know if I would tell anyone, really. I mean, of course I would do the above, but I would prefer for the whole “BLAH BLAH WON THE LOTTERY” thing to remain out of the media. There are a helluva lot of crazies in the world, ya know? I also have too many “cousins of cousins” that would demand $100K or they’ll shoot themselves in the head…

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHROOM?

navy blue and cream

**Chocolate brown and mushroom.

HOW MANY KEYS ARE ON YOUR KEY RING?

my key ring is my memory-box... The one thing that i collect are keys... i have sentiment attached to each key that is on my key ring... so needless to say, i do have MANY keys... :)

**My keyring has retired (got really heavy). My current keyring has my car key on one side with the remote starter with it and on the other side (it’s the split-apart keychain so you can leave the keys in your ignition and take the other half with you to do whatever) has my house key and the mailbox key and my gym membership swipe-thingy. So yah. Three! On this I have improved! (I still have the old keyring).

WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE?

some place close to a lake...

**Agreed. A lake somewhere. Isolated. NO TRAFFIC FTW!

CAN YOU JUGGLE?

figuratively, yes

**Augh. Still have not learned to do this. I will add this to my Croak List.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FORM OF EXERCISE?

Swimming

**Yes. Swimming is great fun. Walking also has many bonuses ... Sex is good too.

RED OR WHITE WINE?

white zinfandel

**Hmmm, I do like a white wine on occasion. I don’t like it dry but rather closer to the sweet side of things.

WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY?

friends came over had dinner and cake and also had a karaoke party

**Went to dinner. Had some friends over.

WHERE DO YOU FOOD SHOP?

Safeway

**This has not changed for the “big shop”. If I need something for the week, though, I just go to the Sobey’s close to my house and pick up stuff for the week/weekend.

DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD?

Yes

**It is no longer filled out. Due to the sickness thing.

So yah… Reading through this 8 years later, it seems weird how some things just HAVE NOT changed and in what ways they have changed. Even if it is a matter of perspective or emphasis, it just goes to show how we certainly are one sort of person through a lot of our lives

Happy Xmas

2007-12-22T22:50:00.000-07:00

Happy Xmas Everyone!
Hoping for more peace on earth...
Even if for a few moments...
<3 V

Assorted...

2007-11-16T00:12:00.000-07:00

What is up with the whole bloodlust slash revenge of Jaws IV. The day a shark's baby's baby's baby follows me around the globe is the day I start on hardcore drugs. Mind, I just wanted him to bite granny's head off to get rid of her horrifying hairstyle.

The dude who went gathering leaves and other assorted foliage in the forest and decided "Hey, let's eat THIS one *insert arugula*..." What was he thinking? I mean, the stuff TASTES like a leaf... It ought to taste like bacon. Everything ought to taste like bacon.

I saw a dude dressed like Neo from "The Matrix" the other day as I was glacing outside the bus window. He had on the long black tailored coat, he had on thick-soled boots, his hair was slightly emo'licked and he was a bit pale. This wasn't unusal to me. What was unusual was out of thin air he managed to conjure a skateboard and then off he rolls or rode or whatever it is that skateboarders do. I've never seen a skateboarding-Neo.

I am convinced my stress-cow is plotting to have me killed.

Do you call it dinner or lunch? Do you call it supper or dinner?

I still have the tag on my mattress.

I'm divulging a secret: I love the show called "Project Runway". Watching the designers make garment from just an idea in their head is mind boggling to me. Creating something from nothing... Brilliance.

Some people want to swim with the dolphins. I'd like to swim with the polar bears. Of course they would have to be very friendly polar bears.

I found a list of things to-do that I made in 2003. Odd. It was pretty, though. I used metallic purple and silver pens. What ever happened to the gel-pen craze? I am entirely too obsessed with stationary. I have a large assortment of coloured pens at work and different shaped stickies and mutli-coloured paperclips. Office Depot you are my crack-row.

the daily commute

2007-11-14T22:51:00.000-07:00

a man sat next to me on the express coming home today. i could smell him while he was within 10 feet of my nostrils. it was horrible. drenched he was, in something that had to have been called: eau de 1970's.

as i sat in the corner of the bus my head began to pulse. the cilia in my nostrils disintegrated into ash and my eyes started to tear. through the saline, i began to hallucinate of giant, bobbing, permed-fuzzy hair and bright, unnatural-coloured leisure suits. the scent somehow made its way into my bloodstream and deep into the core of my medula oblongata where upon it hijacked my sense of reason and created disco balls out of thin air, flashing rainbow lights and a soundtrack that consisted of the jackson five meets jethro tull.

i've never done acid, but I can imagine this is what it must feel like...

the man exited the express about 2/3 through my evening commute but his scent lingered. like a monstrous wafting cloud of toxic vapour... upon exiting at my own stop, i escaped the cleverly disguised gas chamber and inhaled deeply -*gassssssp* but to my displeasure i manage to catch a mouth full of carbon monoxide from a passing vehicle in dire need of a tune-up...

i feel like i've ingested a vat of embalming fluid... well, at least when i die i know that it will be either very cheap to preserve me or i'll light up light up faster than a roman candle!
*whoosh*

but it isn't my birthday....

2007-11-12T22:05:00.000-07:00

this is my new telly...
bring on the popcorn, yo!

...ohhhhkayyyy then....

2007-11-01T22:02:00.001-06:00

halloween candy leftovers...

2007-11-01T18:00:00.000-06:00

every year i take in a massive bag to work... i keep a few mini-chocolate bars for myself and take the rest in and put it in a giant bowl in the kitchen of my office.
its funny... i see NO ONE taking any back to their office to munch on during the day but by noon there is at least 3/4 of the pile... GONE!!
i work in an office of candy trolls!!
invisible ones at that.

it ate my brain.... and all my candy!

2007-10-31T18:36:00.000-06:00

ouch...

it's halloween... and im sitting here waiting for the kidlets to arrive at the door so i can load them up with very unhealthy treats and giggle at their costumes.
this year i seem to be lacking in the halloween spirit. and it's b/c i haven't had a halloween party!!!
i feel empty.
halloween is my christmas.
this year is like...
....
christmas without jesus
except every year is christmsa without jesus when you dont believe in the big ole jay cee.
hrm...
it's like the headless horseman decided to skip my house this year...
i dont even have a pumpkin for fuck's sake!
what the hell.
oh it is SOOOOO on next year. pumpkins will be puking out of my house next year. i promise!...

a small rant

2007-10-25T15:15:00.000-06:00

people who think they are ONE WAY but are so OBVIOUSLY NOT.

it is incredibly irritating.

An Open Letter...

2007-10-22T21:35:00.000-06:00

... To the person who failed to turn in the watch I lost on the bus or to the person who didn't put the watch into lost & found...

Dear Git!

May the fleas of 1000 camels infest your crotch.

Sincerely,
What the fuck time is it?

Random Thought #46875

2007-10-22T21:22:00.001-06:00

There is a finite amount of intelligence in this world...

i was thinking...

2007-10-22T21:20:00.000-06:00

ya know... jeffrey dahmer was pretty skinny for having eaten all those people...

i read something the other day that made me laugh...

2007-10-22T21:16:00.000-06:00

if you can't read the language that your tattoo is written you should not get the tattoo!

I've been pondering...

2007-10-13T20:50:00.000-06:00

... and I hereby decree that Canada shall henceforth be referred to as The Canada.

If I were...

2007-10-10T20:17:00.000-06:00

I saw this on Logo's blog... It looked interesting...
Enjoy!

If I were a beginning, I would be… "So, so you think you can tell heaven from hell?"
If I were a month, I would be…October; chilly and cold with a snap in the air.

If I were a time of day, I would be… 3:00AM
If I were a planet, I would be… An ice dwarf.
If I were a season, I would be… Winter; cold and bright. Cuddly and aloof.
If I were a sea animal, I would be… Sea anemone; deceptively intoxicating and dangerous.

If I were a direction, I would be… Inward.
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be… An overstuff chair.

If I were a sin, I would be... Unforgivably delicious.
If I were a liquid, I would be... Molten lava.

If I were a scare, I would be... The nagging suspicion that something isn't right.

If I were a gem, I would be... Blood Red Garnet.

If I were a flower/plant, I would be... Devil's Ivy.

If I were a kind of weather, I would be... Variable clouds with scattered showers and high chance of thunderstorms later in the day.

If I were a musical instrument, I would be... A triangle; always has the last word.

If I were an animal, I would be... A chamleon

If I were an emotion, I would be... Indecipherable

If I were a vegetable, I would be... A turnip; you either love them or hate them, no one is 'iffy' about a turnip.

If I were a sound, I would be... Low and quiet, not always audible but always knowing it's there.

If I were an element, I would be... PeopleSuckium.

If I were a car, I would be... A smart car. Not to toot my own horn or anything. Har har.

If I were a song, I would be... Prog-metal.

If I were a food, I would be... Chilli; hearty and filling with spicyhotness that can warm you up on a cold day and make you feel like home.

If I were a place, I would be... Distant and cold but comforting once you get there.

If I were a material, I would be... Flannel; soft and fluffy, cozy and warm and can be dead sexy to some.

If I were a taste, I would be... Lingering.

If I were a scent, I would be... Fresh, soft and feminine with a hint of sweetness.

If I were a religion, I would be... Addictive.

If I were a sentence, I would be... Incomplete and wrought with errors.

If I were a facial expression, I would be... Cloaked and difficult to interpret.

If I were a subject in school, I would be... Art; some people get it, some people don't.

If I were a colour, I would be... Dark.

If I were a thing, I would be... Trying to kill Kurt Russell.

If I were a book, I would be... Illustrated.

If I were an artist, I would be... Misunderstood.

If I were a collection of poems, I would be... Out of order.

If I were a landmass, I would be... Iceland.

If I were a watch, I would be... on EU time.

If I were God, I would be... The O-God of Hangovers.

If I were a vowel, I would be... Sometimes Y.

If I were a consonant, I would be... V

If I were a theory, I would be... Disputed.

If I were a famous person, I would be... Anti-Famous

If I were an item of electronic equipment, I would be... iAudio. Versatile, multi-medial and fits in your pocket.

If I were a sport, I would be... Suitable for all ages.

If I were a movie, I would be... An independent film.

If I were a cartoon, I would be... Daria Prototype.

If I were an explorer, I would be... Leif Erikson.

If I were a scientist, I would be... Researching the cure for stupidity.

If I were a relation, I would be... Sexual.

If I were a river, I would be... Meandering.

If I were intoxication, I would be... An inhalent.

If I were alone, I would be... A flourishing tree in the middle of a barren wasteland.

If I were a question, I would be... Rhetorical.

If I were a habit, I would be... Hard to break.

If I were in an atom, I would be... Difficult to split.

If I were you, I would be... Unlike me.

it's been ages...

2007-10-04T19:56:00.000-06:00

i just haven't had much to say in the way of blogging lately.
i wonder what has been going through my head and what has kept me away from this thing. i could blame other things and pretend i have been incredibly busy... but i seriously have been up to nothing terribly exciting.
i've spent time here and there... but i think i've been in a funk of some sorts...
i know most of my emotions are kept hidden. but since no one reads this thing anymore, anyway, i may as well spew...
my parents, after 35+ years of marriage, are going through the process of a divorce right now. although i wish they were both willing to get through this and not toss away 35+ years of marriage, i also am hoping that they don't toss away any more years of unhappiness they seem to have when with one another.
i think i may have talked about my mum before. i'm not entirely sure. but she is a very confused person. for many years of my life she has been medicated. so many pills with so many names i just can't even remember. i wasn't entirely conscious of my mother's medication until i was in my late teens. i don't really understand the purpose of medication, i just know it makes people give the illusion of functionality. and i never knew how incompetent my mum's decision making abilities were until i was well into my 2o's. i always thought she was full of confidence and direction but that was only when it came to telling me what to do or what was wrong with me. believe me, if you knew any of what i went through growing up with her it might be a bit of a shock to see that i'm a semi-functioning adult. in coming to grips, over the years, that my parents are indeed people and not just my parents; that they make mistakes and have feelings and doubts and fears and flaws, i have also come to grips with the reality that my relationship with them has forever changed.
in doing this it has been my luxury and my misfortune to say and express to them my opinions on a lot of different matters, including my relationship with each of them. i know i can be blunt, forceful, logical, unemotional and unrelenting. this isn't always conducive to my mother's medicated condition.
believe me, there is more history and way more detail than i am willing involve, but i am not entirely evil or callous in my communication with either of them. i try to speak gently and understandingly but also with as much honesty as i can... it isn't all bad.
but what has been happening recently is the result of me being tired of my mother treating me like a second class member of our family. for the first time in my adult relationship with my mother i stopped dead and dug my heels in. refusing to be a sounding board or a dumping ground anymore. i told her that its time she get off her fucking medication, grow up, stop being selfish and to FINALLY act like a mother because she certainly hadn't been acting like one...
this happened in june...
i haven't spoken to her since...

/pity party

the "Moe"ment...

2007-06-20T22:36:00.001-06:00

this is the moment it happened... my XP bar disappeared in a big flash of light :P
wheeeeeeee!!
(if you don't know what i'm talking about, read the entry below)

Ding!

2007-06-20T21:49:00.000-06:00

So as some of you might know... I play World of Warcraft. I started back in September and have been playing a LOT of Warcraft!! I started off with a Female Dwarf Warrior named Thrashar and have managed to get her to level 10 (she's on another server)!!! Whooo! Impressive isn't it?

Well, actually in mid September I created my Night Elf Druid (Nelf Drood to the gamer-type-people! A little shout-out to you all!). I started leveling her up slowly. Uhhh, VERY slowly... I was in a little guild of friends (people I know from outside of game) and when they had all started to reach a certain level they moved on to a larger guild that did more raiding --FMH--. Raiding happens when you reach "end-game". End-game consists of raiding high-level dungeons, slaying huge monsters in the form of (then) 40-man raid groups (yes, 40 real life people banding together to kill/defeat or... well, hope not... wipe in a dungeon to obtain uber items to enter more difficult dungeons and kill more difficult creature to obtain uber uber items to... well, you get the picture)... This was all once achieved (and attunement could be started a couple levels before) at level 60.

In Novmeber, on a bit of a whim, I was encouraged to apply to this guild when Moeriel (Moe as she is fondly nicked) was a wee baby druid of level 26 *shock... gasp... oooo* Anyway, I got in and have been with the same guild ever since since... In January of 2007, Blizzard introduced The Burning Crusade... Making people obtain 10 more levels in a completely different continent with different items, dungeons creatures... the whole kit AND kaboodle!!... At this time Moe was level 44-ish... CRIKEY! I had another TWENTY SIX more levels to go!!

Alas... level 60 came... it also went... and there was no rest for me like a lot of guildies had had for the last *whatever* many months or slash years they have been playing! However, I did manage to experience some pretty intense raids in Onyxia and Molten Core... Yay me!... But I still had to make the seemingly ENDLESS climb to level 70...

Today... I achieve that milestone!

Here are some more screenies of what my character looks like now (this is her then)...

Moe atop a cliff outside of Shattrath City

Moe in Flightform
(achieved at level 68)
(Druids have shape-shift abilities -- see screenies of the other shifts I can do)

Moe in Moonkin Form
(31 Points in the Balance Tree)
This is my "spec"... Balance Druid with a bit of Resto...

Moe in Travel Form
(achieved at level 30)

Moe in Cat Form
(achieved at level 20)

Moe in Bear Form
(first shape-shift form given @ level 10)

There are still TONS of things for me to do in WoW... End-game attunement for large raids, rep grinding to do for certain factions --scryers, consortium, etc etc-- and lots of gold to be made for epic flightform! I have lots to do and I have so much fun doing it!
Anyway, a shout-out to my guildies who happen to read my blog... thanks for all the fish!

Mooning Moe...

What's Its Face...

2007-06-08T16:53:00.000-06:00

So I don't get what the whole deal is with Facebook.

I hear that so many people are on Facebook and I have to say I'm just perplexed as to why... I even know some people that are on Facebook! I am not on it, myself... and here's why...

My humble opinion: [Please remember, this comes from Vera "Queen of the Cynics"... and do take precautionary measures when handling these grains of salt...]

1.) It's a perfect tool to be used by real-life and internet-stalkers.

I don't know about any of you, but I have met some odd people in real life and on the internet and why would I want to subject myself to a giant database for them to be able to retrieve information about me?

2.) Seems to be a never-ending high school reunion.

I ditched the regular 10-year high school reunion of people-I-never-wanted-to-see-again-anyway and reunited with my high school friends in a sort-of-private-ish-invite-only weekend on the 10th anniversary of my escape from Hell. People that have to contact you via Facebook are not in your 3-D life for a reason, right? The only reason why they are contacting you is primarily to brag about their 2 point five kids in private school, their massive mortgage debt and to sell you their pure-bred puppy dogs... which leads me to the next point...

3.) It is a "Look At Me And What I Have Done With My Life" forum.

Chances are the people that you never talk to on a regular basis in your 3-D life are only contacting you to talk about themselves anyway. Here's a tip: If you're not part of my email contacts or on any of my IM lists chances are I really don't care if you've won the lottery, finally got your sex-change operation and decided to come out of the closet. A) I knew you had a gambling problem aaaaaaaages ago, if I cared enough, I'd be glad it finally paid off; B) I can't clearly remember if you were male or female anyway, but if I cared I'd be happy for you and your self-expression; C) I'm not surprised.

Sweet Monkey Love

2007-05-31T05:49:00.001-06:00

I have to say that when Grunt told me about his brother's "A list of funny word combinations that you can try on a dead bird or a mailbox." it opened up my own pandora's box of word combinations that I could try on a dead bird or a mailbox. (Although, I hate birds, so I think I might try it on a dead cow and a stop-sign.)

So here is my confessional...

Often, in my dreams, I do things like read comic books, recipes, instructions, long literary pieces, signs, webpages and newspapers but I only remember --clearly-- one time where the words I've read made actual sense.

Normally a recipe will list things like:

1 bounce of triggers

1/3 forklift

1 pleasant highchair

2 dryer lint sausage

If I'm reading the newspaper it will have headlines like:

"Tractor Aliens Undo Thanksgiving Monkey"

If I'm reading instructions on how to put together a table or bookshelf it will read something like:

"Diet on the radio fully with religious bunkers. After, proceed to nearest colonoscopy and tip the waitress with a rhino ear."

Long literary pieces will read like:

"One slug in a decade of delapitated furry onion leafs tried unsuccessfully to breed Aunt Fiona's grilled barbeque shrubbery. If ever Joe De Papineaux hurried his mixer in strange company demons of unusual size buzzed his nosehairs repeatedly. Firestorm shadowbolts of wrath giggled and galloped among the flowery fields of eyebrows. In the darkened hours of Saturn's rings it was clear that perhaps Franz and Helga should have eaten the direct publishing company of amednments and in doing so would not have housed all the unfortunate carpet."

Keep in mind, in my dream these things make PERFECT sense. Often I note myself nodding and agreeing, while my conscious brain is shaking its head at my dream brain and doing the Homer-D'oh with a mental head-smack. Words have always fascinated me. In have a little word-journal that I keep lying around in places where I write words that make me giggle or for whatever reason I think are fun to pronounce or ones that drip off the tongue like honey or warm syrup.

So... welcome to my brain. Wet your feet in the stream of my consciousness but don't forget to wear your life-jacket.

And now onto the tagged-ness:

In my Virtual Franklin Covey Day Planner from 2007.

Under "Record of Conversation": What? Who is listening? Am I wiretapped? Is this thing on? Long Live Mexican Food!

Subject: I refuse to subject myself to anything that does not give ample reward.
With: Onions. I like to hedge my bets.
Telephone: I've never tried it with a phone before, b/c I thought the cord would get in the way.
Meeting at: The bike-racks @ 3:30!
By: Curious?
Date: Never on the first date unless there are time constraints and a plane to catch.
Topic Discussed: How to shovel a proper hole to bury a dead or live body.
Action: Equal and opposite reaction. (Pfft, so I'm told by those Science-Type People. I still have yet to test this theory out myself.)

If I didn't do that right, I don't care. Heh. It was fun!

Thanks for the kick in the pantses Grunt-oh. I did/do miss blogging more regularily -- even if no one reads it.

One-Word-Answers

2007-04-16T18:29:00.000-06:00

Stolen from Ann.

You can only type one word answers. Sometimes not as easy as you might think.
(However, me --being the Queen of One-Word-Answers-- had no problem with this task)

1. Where is your cell phone?
Lost
2. Your boy/girlfriend, SO, husband or wife?
Hard-core-sex-toy!
3. Your hair?
Long
4. Your mother?
Needy
5. Your father?
Needy
6. Your favorite thing?
Music
7. Your dream last night?
Vague
8. Your favorite drink?
Water
9.Your dream car?
Electric
10. The room you're in?
Office
11. Your ex?
Nerd
12. Your fears?
Numerous
13. Where do you want to be in 10 years?
/Away
14. Who did you hang out with yesterday?
Moi
15. What you're not?
Functioning
16. Muffins?
Chocolate
17. One of your wish list items?
Travel
18. Where you grew up?
Hell
19. The last thing you did?
Scratched
20. What are you wearing?
Earrings
21. Your TV?
Downstairs
22. Your pet?
Lazy
23. Your computer?
On
24. Your life?
Complicated
25. Your mood?
Sedated
26. Missing?
Mobile
28. Your car?
Caliber
29. Your work?'
Changing
30. Your summer?
Short
31. Like someone?
Many
32. Your favorite color?
Black
33. When is the last time you laughed?
Minutes
34. Last time you cried?
Yesterday
35. School?
Unforgettable

i'm baaaack...

2007-04-09T11:46:00.000-06:00

i had a jolly good time too!

makes me giggle

2007-03-28T14:25:00.000-06:00

Can I quote you on that?...

2007-03-21T20:28:00.000-06:00

Inspired by the Logo™

Basically, most of the people I know quote movies and television programmes in their every-day conversations... Some, granted, are more geekier than others *cough* but here are just a few things that can and slash or usually pop out of my mouth in a day's worth of conversation...

"No [soup] for you!"

"42."

"My eyes! My eyes! Zee goggles do nahzing!"

"You keel mai fadder... prepare to dai..."

"Ekki Ekki Ptang!"

"She turned me into a newt...I got better."

"Me fail english? Unpossible."

"Tricksedy Hobbitsssses!"

"No more "and then"!!!"

"Klaatu! Veratu! N*cough sputter gurgle*rrmmtrrr!"

"Soylent Green Is People!"

"Have fun storming da castle!"

"E-ville. Like the Froo-its of the Dev-ville."

"Things are afoot at the Circle K"

"I. Like. To. Play. *ting!*"

"The old in-out."

"Hai Faivah!"

"Dear eight pound six ounce, Baby Jesus..."

"The Black Knights always triumph!"

"Naughty Zoot!"

"Hello, Dave."

"Groovy."

"Shop Smart. Shop S-mart."

"He is not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!"

"Stone him!"

"Feeeeeeeed Meeee, Seymour!!"

"That's gunna hurt come winter."

"Gaddammit Kyle!"

"Mmmmm... hog fat."

"Timmeh!"

"Me love you long time."

vera

2007-03-20T17:05:00.000-06:00

I haven't felt much like blogging lately...
Maybe things on this blog have run their course...
Maybe I've just ran out of things to share...
Road Block.
I mean, if you know me, you will know that I rarely run out of things to say... I just always run out of things to share...
I must confess, now that I think about it, I think what might be blocking me is that the things are happening inside my head are vera personal and not easy to subject to generalities.
On a side note, if any of you are curious... here are some things going on:

New job has me vera busy!! I love what I am doing now especially because it is such a huge learning curve. I feel productive and overwhelmed at the same time.
Pedicure! They do an amazing job at this salon. However, the aesthetician said, while giving me a lower leg massage, that I am vera tense. Hmmm, I think I just need to just schedule more pedicures.
New movies I have seen and haven't mentioned (and rated!! My system is vera easy... each film is rated for the number of headbangs I will perform whilst talking about them... the scale is out of 10):

Pan's Labyrinth \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/
Zodiac \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/
300 \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/ \m/
Music & Lyrics \m/ \m/ \m/

I am getting ready for my trip!! I am vera excited!! I am going to learn to pack light if it kills me! I can do one of two extremes. Pack light and bring NOTHING! or I can "Go Princess" and bring EVERYTHING! I've gone with door number one. Here is my new backpack from MEC. That and a carry-on, which is basically my Nikon, my mp3 player and a book... I guess I'll be sleeping a lot. Heh!
I got a new mp3 player. Oy Vey! This is a vera long story... I LOVE my iAudio, do NOT get me wrong. However my dog decided to play fetch with it one day and knocked the bluddy thing off the kitchen table whereupon it took a giant fall and numerous PAINFUL bounces (which I fondly refer to as The Great Drop of 2006) right onto the headphone jack. As it were, the headphones were still inserted into the headphone jack and consequently they managed to damage the delicate precision that is the bane of all technical devices. I sent it in for repair and it came back all funkadory(!!!) --with a slight problem. It now loses power continuously. The boasting feature about the iAudio X5L is not only its versatility but its incredible battery length. This problem occurs even while the player is "off". There has to be some sort of crazy alien force setting up a very small hydroponics operation INSIDE my iAudio. Blergh. Now, you may think "Oh, just send it back for repair!!" I agree. If only it were that simple. There are no current Canadian distributors of the iAudio and therefore, in order for me to have it repaired I have to send it to California, pay for shipping there and back and provide them with a money order for whatever amount they choose to disclose to me after reading my ticket. This will be the second time I will send it in. I am anticipating, if I send it in again, after I get it back, in total I will have spent about $200 USD to repair it (did I mention --uhh-- twice). Given currency conversion, my time, a small replacement mp3 player to hold me over (which I already purchased last time b/c I simply cannot live w/o music) and a lack of any guarantee that this will be the final time I ever send it in, I decided to purchase something closer to home and yes, the extended warranty. The iAudio is an phenomenal product, it it just unfortunate that it is so unknown to the mainstream and thereby really limiting its customer service potential. HOWEVER... *cue heavenly choir* I have purchased a Creative Zen Vision W and so far, I am loving it. Yes, I just got it yesterday, but I have loaded my music collection on it and some other media files and am so very pleased with the quality I am getting!! Yah, so... long story eh? Told ya.
I was in a car accident in February. I was rear-ended by some vera overzealous driver when it was super-icy. I am ok, no injuries to either party involved, but... Augh! YES! My new car has a boo-boo! The entire back bumper is cracked and shattered. It is supposed to be getting fixed this week, but I have yet to hear from the body shop as to whether or not the part has come in. I am not too optomistic about it, seeing as in those two days when we were hit with another blast of winter there were 900 reported accidents in the city. You may now gasp.
I am vera scared there will be no "good" coffee when I go on my trip. I am considering taking my own can of Tim's.
Never put on articles of clothing in the dark. Two hours after I got to work this morning I looked down at my feet and realized I had two different SHOES on. This is easy to do when you have two pairs of Crocs © in vera similar colours. Black and Chocolate Brown. Easy to mistake one for the other, right? Right??? The most curious thing about the mishap is apparently this is the *new* and *trendy* thing to do! It's allllll the rage with the emos or something. They're calling them "Twins". I kid you not. I'm always at the forefront of fashion. Ever the trendsetter.
I got two new sweaters yesterday and am wearing one today. It's charcoal grey. Vera cozy. Small cableknit. I liked it so much I bought a black one to match. See, "Twins"!
I'm thinking about getting a Blackberry.
The weather has been vera manic today. This morning it was a tidge frosty. That was replaced by quite heavy fog followed by an epic battle for the heavens between the dark grey clouds an big white fluffy ones... the white fluffy ones conquered breaking often to reveal a lovely azure blue sky. However, as ominous as ever, the dark and forboding clouds have regathered and are forming a rather strong southern alliance, pushing the white fluffy ones to the north. Yay grey!
For those that might be curious. My main World of Warcraft character Moeriel (Night Elf Druid) is now level 57!!! She is vera uber. I am now attuned to do instances like Onyxia, Molten Core & Blackwing Lair. For those of you that thought those sounded like a list of death metal bands it simply means that I get to go and kill big bad evil things with lots of other people wanting to kill big bad evil things. Onyxia is really pretty though. She's a huge black dragon with big teeth and flappy wings. If it were not for the expansion of World of Warcraft into The Burning Crusade, I would be almost completed my leveling. However since it's introduction I cannot pass go and I cannot collect $200 until I hit level 70! Well, I won't *really* get $200, but by then I hope I'll have collected 2000gold for uber new items!

For someone that didn't have much to say, I've certainly managed to type vera much.

the strangest place i've ever slept...

2007-03-06T21:41:00.000-07:00

ann suggested the topic...

the strangest place i've ever slept was not so much strange for the fact of sleeping there but for the reason WHY i slept there...

for the most part, my nights have been in either my bed or beds of people i know or on my couch or floor or the couches and floors of people i know... in beds of hotels or bed and breakfasts... now, i've passed out under trees at outdoor parties/cabin parties or beach parties... i've blacked out and woke up next to a treestump or flattened on a flight of stairs... but never an entire night...

so the story of the strangest place i've slept also begins with the eye-rolling phrase "omg, one night i was SOOOOO wasted..." so...

omg, one night i was SOOOOO wasted... my friends and i had been up most of the night drinking... i had downed my usual weekend staple of a entire 26oz bottle of vodka mixed into three VERY strong drinks in a 7-11 slurpee-cup... my poison of choice when i was 18 was vodka and gingerale... i had poured 1/3 of the 26oz bottle into the plastic container and filled the rest with gingerale. i was a "compact drunk". i required only a few ingredients for the soul purpose of getting me blitzkrieged beyond recognition... by time the night ended i had not only consumed the entire bottle by myself in the three aforementioned concentrations, but i managed to ingest a couple slurpee-cups of lukewarm beer from the kegger we had bought for the weekend.

my friend's parent's cabin was rather small, but almost every weekend of every summer we managed to cram ourselves -and few other stray acquaintances- into the place even if it meant passing out on top of each other in the process. per usual, i had secured my lodging for the night in one of the upstairs bedrooms and as i laid my dizzying head onto the pillow the familiar feeling of nausea overcame me and i bolted up straight away. the floors were a beautiful hardwood, which did not quite work with my wool socks and i found myself gliding ungracefully across the floor. i flumped down the stairs trying to maintain my balance with one hand covering my mouth and the other fumbling in the dark, attempting to lead the way. i found myself heaving over the side of the wooden deck. after emptying what i thought was left inside my stomach, i groggily drank a glass of water and headed back up the stairs. laying my head back onto the pillow, i once again was struck with the same persistent, exhausting and heaving waves of sickness. bluddy hell! my blasted socks proved to be a challenge for me to make it to the door in 1) one piece and 2) dry... i decided it was far too tiring to attempt to safely navigate the stairs any more that night and made my way to my car (yes, saundra, my faithful girl) and snuggled in the front seat with my cozy patchwork blankie and a bottle of water; every 15 minutes opening the door to lean out and dispose of the alcohol that had been slowly poisoning my body the entire night...

the above story is why i support teetotallers everywhere!

now, i sleep on the express bus EVERY DAY to and from work... is that considered strange?? b/c if so, then just ignore the above post...

saundra

2007-02-25T13:38:00.000-07:00

saundra...
she was my first car...
she was brand new...
my parents wanted my sister and i to have 'decent' vehicles for when we left home for college. i received mine when i was 17 years old...
it was a 1990 pontiac sunbird LE in charcoal grey...
5-speed manual transmission
sunroof
am/fm cassette
that's all i remember
that's all that mattered LOL
at the time my parents bought me the car, i didn't know how to drive a manual transmission... my sister attempted to teach me... *ATTEMPTED* she took me out to te parking lot at devonshire beach and i could not, for the life of me, get the car INTO first gear, nevermind OUT of first gear into second gear... i think everyone in the car got a severe case of whiplash... (sorry T) the following week my pops was on his days off and he took me out to the same spot my sister attempted to teach me. he got out of the car and said "ok, kid... drive" and left me to my own devices. i learned to do it in 5 minutes!!! he kept cheering and dancing in the parking lot every time i managed to get it out of first and FINALLY into second gear... he then got back into the car and told me to drive into town... PANIC!! well, i made it without incident, and still had to get comfortable with hills and such, but i was a quick study and it wasn't long before i was taking corners on two wheels, playing cat and mouse with other classmates and uhmmm... 4x4ing with her in the sand pits and getting her stuck high-center... heh... she was spitting out sand for years later... sorry saundra... but it was fun, wasn't it??
my parents used to use her as leverage against me... punishment. they would "ground" me from my car whenever they felt i should be punished for being late for curfew or heh, when i got my first speeding ticket... or if i looked at my mum sideways or burped w/o asking permission or breathed incorrectly... ha!
she was toilet papered during NHL playoffs... had cartoon characters drawn on her dirt and dust... she had her muffler decorated with cans and had champagne spilled in her trunk...
saundra saw me through a lot of different times... she was a part of my first car accident (i rear ended a classmate after we all had to harshly brake for kids jay-walking across the street)... she attended college and university with me... she hauled me and my friends around to parties and crazy/random drives into the mountains and across the prairies...
in 1998 when i was preparing to move to california saundra met her painful and sad fate... i was on memorial drive during rush-hour traffic, sitting about 20th back from the red light... i heard the squeal of tires behind me -- i knew it was inevitable... somehow, during the split seconds before impact i managed to crank my wheel all the way to my left directly into the curb to avoid hitting the person in front of me and checked to see if my car was in neutral... i put both feet on my brake and braced myself... i looked into the rear-view mirror and remember seeing the "GMC" logo as it rammed itself into my trunk... the impact was harsh, but i was prepared for it so when i managed to get myself out of my car (the seat broken and seatbelt locked, i wasn't suffering any major injuries... mostly shock... my poor car... saundra was hurt... badly... her trunk was now a part of the back seat... it was pushed in at least one foot... i managed to drive her home afterward. probably the smartest thing i did. i could have been terrified to ever drive again, given the impact and the damage the other vehicles sustained... i took her into autobody shops where they just laughed at me and wrote out that my vehicle was recommended to be written off...
WHAT?
retire saundra??? you've got me joking???
my poor baby girl...
i watched as the tow-truck came to take her away that september morning... she looked battered, bruised, worn and just plain tired... i remember crying as i was emptying my things from her the night before... i know it sounds stupid and sentimental, but i really did love her...
she is now, i like to think, a part of some avant garde industrial metal sculpture somewhere... i like to think she was rescued by some scrap-metal artist and is now living as a part of something more beautiful than what she left me...
*smooches*

leaving...

2007-02-24T22:56:00.000-07:00

on a jet plane...
i booked it... my ticket that is...
i am going /away...

remember how i said this...
well, i finally did it!

i'm so excited i could pee!

in fact... brb...

Which Discworld Character Are You?

2007-02-24T21:23:00.000-07:00

You scored as Greebo. You are Greebo! The most evil cat in the entire Disc! Due to an old spell, your morphogenic field is a little mixed up, so you sometimes turn into a man. You enjoy killing, raping, torturing, playing with yarn and inspiring fear. When bored, you like to look for wolves to "play" with.

Greebo

63%

Death

56%

Carrot Ironfounderson

50%

Gytha (Nanny) Ogg

50%

Commander Samuel Vimes

44%

The Librarian

44%

Lord Havelock Vetinari

38%

Rincewind

25%

Esmerelda (Granny) Weatherwax

13%

Cohen The Barbarian

Which Discworld Character are you like (with pics)
created with QuizFarm.com

Likes/Dislikes... Brought to you by the letter "D"...

2007-02-17T10:39:00.000-07:00

This MEME came from Jules... Thanks Jules... :) I thought "Wow, this will be alright". The likes were pretty easy, the dislikes were very difficult!

Here's the plan; it's very simple. If you want a letter, just email me (as I don't allow comments on my blog -- I can't imagine I'd get a lot of requests for letters). Use that letter to list 10 Likes and 10 Dislikes.

Enjoy!

10 D Likes:

Discographies - I like all sorts of musical genres and have a vast collection of CDs... Yes, CDs... I actually purchase CDs of artists that I adore (which are a lot) in addition to having a lot of digital files. I work on collecting entire discographies of all my favourite artists.

Documentaries - I love watching a well-done documentary. I find it fascinating firstly, that someone feels so incredibly impassioned to create a film about something and share it with the world and secondly you learn a helluva lot about a subject

Dutch, The - Tall, viking-esque... What's not to like? They've given us tulips, wooden shoes and windmills!

Dragons - Magical? Mythical? Maybe here. But the beauty of dragons in legend and lore feels very real to me. Call me insane (no, please, call me insane), but there is a hope inside me that in some place, in some time, in some dimension these creatures actually exist.

Dinosaurs - If it were not for their decaying carcasses I would not have a job! Yay for oil & gas: dino by-products! Plus, they're very cute and the television show was rather adorable as well.

Dracula - The father of all vampyres... Dead sexy.

Dystopia - Who doesn't like the idea of man's own narcissistic tendencies and oblivious and foolish behaviour will soon land him into a degraded society full of depravity and oppression? Zannng!

David Lynch - Ok, yah, I know. I snuck this in there - this can be classified as a technicality, I guess. C'mon! Even if my letter was Z I still would have mentioned David Lynch.

Dogs - I love my doggies.

Dungeons - I have this thing about dungeons. Dark. Forboding. Dangerous. Sexy. Cold. Secretive. Creepy. This is place where things that shouldn't happen, happen.

10 D Dislikes:

Discrimination - It's an absolute crime to be so intolerant nowadays. We all have likes and dislikes, I'll give everyone that, but the intolerance that diseases some people's thoughts and actions is atrocious.

Dumba**es - This is self-explanitory.

Diapers - Me + Babies = Bad combination. Add to the fact that they just leak too much... Blechy.

Drama - There is too little time in life to have to deal with drama.

Depression - I have family and friends that suffer from depression and I have to say that I loathe what this does to people. How it sucks their ambition and drive, their energy and willingness, their laughter and excitement. Depression is something I wish to never allow to take control over me.

Dim Sum - Although I like different sorts of food, there are some items in Dim Sum that are questionable for me.

Diets - These are unhealthy and cause more problems than the temporary benefit of sudden weightloss.

Distance - Especially when you just wanna be with someone.

Dysfunction - Not in family units... I don't know any family that is "Functional". But when something function like it ought to function. Period. I like efficiency, especially in stupid and boring tasks. Just make it work properly without a lot of headache.

Dances - I don't dance.

...the person fumbling here is me...

2007-02-05T21:11:00.000-07:00

I dreamt that I was in an igloo last night. I was carving very intricate etchings into the ice walls and then wiping them down so they would gleam and shine. Inside the igloo was one wrought iron bed with fluffy white sheets. I was wearing a giant parka with a big dead-animal hood but I didn't have anything on my feet. They were bare against the glassy ice floor. I jumped into the bed to snuggle into the softness and fall asleep...

The igloo scene then shifted very busy office building and inside an elevator that was the size of a small dining hall. There were a bunch of very young, soon-to-be executive types riding up and down in the dark elevator chatting about things they really didn't know much about, but using "le jargon" to make themselves sound very important. I stood there and pushed buttons and rode the elevator with them wishing I was back in the igloo and wondering how I ever got into that elevator...

Le Soundtrack

2007-02-04T16:05:00.000-07:00

This idea came from Paul's Blog:

Directions

1. Open up your library (Foobar, iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc.).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question below type the song that’s playing (or copy and paste from the application like I did --much easier than trying to type the right things, especially with special characters) .
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. No repeat artists…stuff happens (randomly!!).
7. No cheating or doctoring your list to make yourself look cooler than the person you took this from.

The Result

Opening Credits:
0613. Fantômas - [Delìrium Còrdia #01] Surgical Sound Specimens From The Museum Of Skin [1:14:17]

First Day of School:
0023. Arcturus - [Aspera Hiems Symfonia] Du Nordavind [3:57]

Falling in Love:
1103. This Mortal Coil - [Blood #18] 'Til I Gain Control Again [4:42]

Breaking up:
0382. Avrigus - [The Secret Kingdom #05] Qliphoth [6:24]

Prom:
0887. Macabre - [Dahmer #15] Into The Toilet With You [1:42]

Life’s Ok:
1705. Wagner, Richard - Ring of the Niebelung ( Gotterdammerung ) Siegfried's Death & Funeral March.mp3 [8:15]

Mental Breakdown:
1083. Therion - [Vovin #10] Draconian Trilogy 3 - Black Diamonds [2:58]

Driving:
1601. The Cranberries - Dreams.mp3 [4:32]

Flashback:
1143. Ulver - [Kveldssanger #04] Nattleite [2:11]

Getting Back Together:
1260. Happy Mondays - [Pills 'N' Thrills And BellyAches #05] Loose Fit.mp3 [3:38]

Wedding Scene:
0998. Opeth - [My Arms, Your Hearse #06] Demon Of The Fall [6:13]

Birth of Child:
0535. Dark Tranquillity - [Haven (Pre-release) #01] The Wonders At Your Feet [3:01]

Final Battle:
0590. Draconian - [Arcane Rain Fell #02] Daylight Misery [5:30]

Death Scene:
1678. U2 - [The Joshua Tree #03] With or Without You [4:56]

Funeral Scene:
0294. Duncan Sheik - [Duncan Sheik #05] Days Go By [4:48]

End Credits:
0030. Arcturus - [The Sham Mirrors #03] Ad Absurdum [6:48]

This was neat! It's funny how some songs "fit" the question and... some didn't... heh...

doubleplusungood

2007-02-01T17:23:00.000-07:00

So I'm on the bus this morning. I get on at the first stop on the route and often the bus is full before it even leaves the circle and today, with the snowfall and cold temperatures, was no exception. The commute can be long, especially on days like this; the traffic was expected to be insane. We had some wind and snow yesterday which, together, make for a crazy and dangerous combination.

This woman sits down in front of me and like everyone else, she started digging around in her bags to settle in for long commute into the downtown core. She pulled out her iPod. Ehm, the skinny one...? Ehm, I'm not all that familiar with each of their names, I just know Apple™ has marketed about a ba-billion of them. It was in a pretty lime-green leather case (which is what I actually noticed) and she starts pushing buttons. I can see the frustration building on her face as the bus pulls away from the curb. She is a very pretty woman. Petite with shorter medium brown hair and she smiles a lot; she reminds me of a pixie faerie. She, however, was not smiling this morning.

She keeps pushing buttons.

The ear buds are not even in her ears.

She pushes more buttons.

Still no motion to actually *listen* to anything.

She sighs heavily and then turns to me with a worried look on her face. "Excuse me. Do you know how to work these things?"

I laughed, "No, I'm sorry, I am not familiar with the iPod stuff but it should be pretty basic. I'd look, but I don't want to accidentally break it." (I use an iAudio)

She smiles and says "That's alright, I'll read the manual when I get home tonight." and she pulls out a copy of George Orwell's "1984". I noticed her reading this last week. Good choice.

I sit back in my seat and get ready to take my usual dozy nap into work.

A very big and burly man in business attire sitting next to me, his huge hands holding a book atop his attaché case, announces with a very loud voice, "You're better off with that, anyway." as he points to her book.

The woman looks at him a little perplexed and says, "Pardon me?"

He says again, "You're better off reading your book anyway. It's a lot better for you."

I sat there a little dumbfounded.

Now, I understand that reading is great for the soul, it encourages thought and creative thinking. Or it can really educate and provide a wealth of information. Trust me, I'm all about Information Porn. Not to mention that I've done my fair share of reading throughout my thirty-four years. I've studied history and literature in University and have read a plethora of classics and "greats". But to say that books are "better" than music as if you've just discovered oxygen is a little pretentious. Music can be just as fulfilling as a great novel. Well-composed music, whatever genre it may be, can tell stories just as well as a great piece of literature. It can educate and inform. It can breathe new life into old tales. It just happens to be another medium for it.

I found his comment to be self-righteous and insulting. Music, like everything else, has a different meaning to everyone. And although I sat there a bit offended by his base comment I had to tell myself... "Consider the source..."

I hope he enjoyed his Dean Koontz novel.

So yah...

2007-01-30T19:04:00.000-07:00

That thing... that I was talking about a little while ago. Well, it has happened. And, on my birthday of all days. So yay!

I received my offer letter today for an internal position in my company as a "Data Integrity Analyst". I GOT A NEW JOB!!! It isn't as fancy as it sounds! I am, however, liking the semi-fancy sound of it.

So thinking about the semi-fanciness of my title started me thinking about some unusual job titles I have seen or read about and had a little giggle over some that have been either fictional or non-fictional. Remember when "Domestic Engineer" was a joke?

Here are a few:

Human Relations Coordinator
Front-End Developer
Custodial Engineer
Thought Jockey
Chief Dream Expert
Fluffer
Malicious Logic Specialist

Nowadays, with how fast technology has crept into our world and how quickly we've had to adjust to its intoxication, it isn't a wonder the number odd job titles that have also crept up over the years in relation to technology. There have been articles and blogs written about the funny slash odd slash weird job titles and descriptions that have been floating around the tech-world for some time.

Things like:

WebNerd
VBA Rockstar
Java Virtuoso
.Net Ninja
Windows Application Crash-Inducer
SuperGeek

So keeping with the whole "creative" motif I am sending a letter to reprographics telling them to print my new business cards to read something like:

Vera™

Ruler of The Universe

I'm Secretary of State, brought to you by Carl's Jr.

2007-01-24T22:25:00.000-07:00

So this weekend I watched the film Idiocracy directed by Mike Judge (a la Office Space fame).

I truly was looking forward to watching this film! I simply love BAD movies and this one had a rating of 6.4 on imdb. Personally, I like going for films that have a less than 6 rating... For example, Zardoz has a rating of 5.5 and it is a GREAT film... No really, I do love Zardoz...

Some spoilers ahead...

So, the film stars Luke Wilson as an average Joe who enjoys his mundane and uninspiring life in the military. He is chosen as a lab rat for a one-year, experimental, "top secret" military project which will hopefully, in the future, cryogenically freeze their top soldiers for future military use. Of course, the experiment goes awry and Joe wakes up 500 years in the future to find out that people and society have not evolved but rather devolved.

The film is neither poignant nor cerebral by any stretch of the imagination, however, the irony is that in its stupidy it manages to disspell and idea that we are indeed superior beings. It also reminds us that, given the wrong sort of direction, society is not far from nor truly removed from becoming the dystopia that is represented in this film. It is filled with insane but possible truths. And for anyone that has a love for the uber-bad films that portray the degeneration of society (ie: Soylent Green, Escape from New York and Omega Man) this is just another film that should be on your "Ought To Watch" list.

Favourite Quote:

Costco Greeter: Welcome to Costco, I love you.

Mmmmm & Mmmmm's

2007-01-19T19:45:00.000-07:00

Apparently, if I were an M&M... this is what I'd look like...

You can become one too...
click here...

Mystic crystal revalation... And the mind's true liberation...

2007-01-19T19:41:00.000-07:00

Getting older.

It is something that everyone suffers from and everyone seems to fight tooth and nail against. When I was younger, to me, 30 seemed so very very old. When I was 20, I was excited to be able to see how close 30 was and how I knew that hitting that age wouldn't be all that big of a deal for me. Some people have a difficult time wrapping their heads around hitting milestone birthdays... "I can't believe I'm xxx years old, OMG!! I'm SO OLD!"...

For me, getting a year older isn't a bad thing. I've always seen it as another year where I've just gained so much more life experience and those experiences have not taken away from any youthful outlook that I may have.

I will, I think, forever be young in spirit.

I guess part of the reason why I might not have issues with age is not so much that age just doesn't really *mean* anything, b/c of course it does in most cases... But I think that as far as my life goes I am, for the most part, where I want to be, and if not, it is where I need to be at this very moment. If my life was full of regrets, I think I would definitely have a much different perspective than I do right now.

People are funny when it comes to age.

I have this friend who thinks that odd years (such as 29, 31, 33...) are bad years... She just celebrated her 33rd birthday in August... I think she is having a pretty good year so far. I'm crossing my fingers that her theory will be blown out of the water! But can you imagine dreading every second year?

I have another friend who is barely a month older than I am and has always dreaded every birthday up until the one that just passed... she turned 34... I think maybe it is b/c her life is starting to head in the direction she wants it and there is no need for dread any more. Her steps are deliberate and thought-out and she is becoming more focused on a future for herself, particularly one that she wants.

So many people are entering that phenomenon called the 30-something crisis. I know what it is like to challenge yourself where you're currently at and wonder where it is you're going. To realize that maybe the things you've accomplished aren't the things you wanted. That perhaps this whole "grown-up" thing isn't all it was cracked up to be. You long for the days when all you had to do was go out to the pub after class with mates and talk about Dostoevsky or Camus or Nietzsche and pretend these things really did matter in every day life. No, that isn't coming from cynicism. It is TRUE! Dostoevsky DOES matter in every day life. If you make it matter. I guess I just try to make it matter.

So as I approach the beginning of my 35th year (I will be 34 on the 24th) I am led to ask myself a few questions on the status of my life... Questions that I will not share and, to be perfectly honest, some are pretty tough to answer. Not all, just some. Not most, just some. I've done a pretty good job at this Life™ this so far, I'm not a total emo!! Anyway, 2007 seems off to a great start... I am going to attempt to keep this momentum going.

So, I'll be off celebrating for the next while...! Wheeee! And a Happy Birthday to all my fellow water babies!!

This is the dawning of the Aging Aquarius...

the blog post formerly known as blank...

2007-01-15T19:12:00.000-07:00

A is for Age: Thirty Three and 9/10ths.

B is for Beer of choice: Grolsch.

C is for Career: An accountant for an oil and gas company. Ideally, I would like to do something in photography... but NO wedding photos. Bluch.

D is for favourite Drink: Coffee. *bzzz*

E is for Essential item I use everyday: Lip Balm.

F is for Favourite song at the moment: "A Simple Mistake" by Anathema.

G is for favourite Game: World of Warcraft.

H is for Hometown: Haven't found it yet.

I is for Instruments I play: Trumpet & Piano.

J is for favourite Juice: Pink Lemonade.

K is for Kisses: Long and deep that take your breath away.

L is for Last kiss: From one of my doggies this morning.

M is for Meaning of Life: People suck.

N is for Noticeable Scars: One on my right arm in my elbow joint from dirt-bike accident.

O is for Overnight Hospital stays: Including endless hours in the ER: 2

P is for Phobias: Clowns.

Q is for Quote: "Don't hate me because I am beautiful, hate me because I am smarter than you."

R is for Rice Krispie Squares: Thick and chewy and the only think I know how to bake.

S is for Steak: Cremated with extra char.

T is for Time I wake up: Anywhere between 05:30 and 06:45 M-F. Waking up on weekends is optional.

U is for Underwear: Very colourful and playful.

V is for Vegetables I love: Broccoli, carrots, peaches and cream corn, green peppers...

W is for Worst habit: How could I pick just one? Nail-biting, let's say.

X is for X-rays I’ve had: A few. I broke my arm when I was 18 and I swear to Buddha they took way too many x-rays. Maybe that's why I'm so eff'd up now!

Y is for Yummy food I make: I make THE BEST chilli. THE BEST meatloaf. THE BEST stif-fry. THE BEST jello.

Z is for Zodiac: Aquarius.

N.B.: Ok, I'm not a daft loon, I know that E is not essential Item... that would be I is for essential Item... Nor is F for favourite Song... Hello, that would be S... etc, etc, etc... *sigh* Whoever wrote this was a complete idiot and I am an even bigger one for republishing it. So forgive my blogging idiocy and let's chalk it up to me being a cock-blogger...

P.S.: Is it wrong that, last night, I dreamt about my favourite high school teacher that I had a super-huge crush on... *cough* 8-\ ...Aye, you're on the right track...

2006 In Review...

2007-01-02T17:28:00.000-07:00

I decided to see if I could recap the year 2006... So I flipped through my Day-Timer (it is always a good source and the closest thing to a diary that I possess) to see what I could find... In my flipping I realized what a horrible source my 2006 Day-Timer was... Ha! Normally, my Day-Timers are filled with little tidbits and events of the year, but I guess 2006 was an exception to the norm. I have Day-Timers going back to 1994 (at least) that tell tales of where I've been who I hung out with and all that sort of thing. They are fun to peruse and laugh and see how silly I was and still am...

Some highlights* and lowlights* of 2006:

*some content is edited due to the fact that it is really none of your effin' business ;)

Grandpa's funeral started the year off with a very somber tone and pretty much calibrated the mood for a lot of the days in 2006.
My birthday was a riot! I had friends come from out of town to celebrate which was totally amazing!
OPETH! (with Dark Tranquillity and Devildriver)! Whoohoo! Nothing like an extreme metal concert to brighten the year. (Mikael Akerfeldt is super hot, yo)
Raising your parents is a tough job, but someone's gotta do it.
New PC! (Later to find out it has a very suck-ass integrated (non-upgradeable) video card. Tip to all: build your own PC!)
Medical issues totally suck!
Mini-break in Toronto to see C!
Major landscaping projects completed.
Basement development! Not 100% complete, but hopes to have this done for 2007 are very high!
Family time in 2006. Nice visits and such. Always goodtimes, especially when departing! ;)
I painted a lot of ceramics in 2006.
I died my hair bright fuchsia and got tons of Disapproving Stares (tm).
Medical issues totally suck!
A good and close friend moves to Calgary. Good Times (tm).
World of Warcraft.
I love Halloween.
Vera!! Come on down!! A New Car!!!
New glasses. Black and gothy purple. I am "less far-sighted" now which meant... ACK! Bi-Focals! Holy crapalolly! I mean, I'm 33! But, meh. Who cares, I can see, right? I was told this would happen when I was around 16. My eyes have a bad astigmatism and therefore I would need bi-focals into my 30s. Wow, who knew ophthalmologists could be right?
Xmas in Ontario had it's good and bad moments.
I took some stunning (if I do say so myself) photos in 2006.
Friends come into your life and they leave. They make an impression if we choose to allow it. For those that have gone from my life, I thank you for having been a part of it and wish you all the best.
Started to look into other options within my company and make calculated choices, career-wise.

A more summarized version:

I became more co-dependent on caffeine in 2006.

I drank less water than I should in 2006.

I ate less carbs than I did in 2005.

I loved in 2006.

I hated in 2006.

I laughed less than in 2005.

I cried more than in 2005.

I realized the value of certain people in my life in 2006.

I've made promises I plan to keep in 2007.

I've decided to shake off this morose blanket that has been smothering me in 2007.

I've decided to be more deliberate in 2007.

Dammit, I will go to the gym more often in 2007!

I will continue to drink coffee in 2007.

I not one for resolutions. In fact, I don't ever make them. However, I will say some have crossed my mind while the clock ticked over to 2007. The above is the closest thing to a list of resolutions anyone would ever see from me. While, as I read in the paper, Canadians are moving over to the trend "to resolve not to resolve" I, of course, have to be different and swing the other way.

So welcome to the world 2007. I'm ready for ya.

Just bring it.

happy nude rear...

2007-01-01T06:59:00.000-07:00

well, its 2007...
and although 2006 ended up being a rather shit year i have hopes the 2007 will be much more... better...
i am not going to shoot myself in the foot and say it will be phenomenal...
i hope you all had a great xmas holiday!
i hope you all have a good 2007!

my new car...

2006-12-19T23:37:00.000-07:00

yes...
new...
Oh. So. New.
it has that new car smell...
wheeeeee!

2007 Dodge Caliber SXT

Mentionables:
Chillzone
Moonroof
Remote/Command Start
MP3 Player Auxilary
A/C

The bluddy thing even tells me my tire pressure!

Yes, you may pet it and call it Purdy.
I think his name is Bert.
I do just quite like saying "Hey, Bert!"

here is an idea...

2006-12-19T23:17:00.000-07:00

...to get for people you care about during this year's holiday season...

i bought these for some of the boys in my life @ Roots™ Canada. i think one day they might come in handy...

FR Emergency Crank Radio

AM, FM
Weather Alert
TV Band
Crank powered and cell phone charger
LED flashlight and siren
Weight: 539g (1lb. 3oz)
Dimensions: 168 x 155 x 64mm (6-1/2”W x 6”H x 2-1/2”D)

ayup. keepin' 'em safe.

I don't believe I am a bad influence...

2006-12-19T23:09:00.000-07:00

You go over 45, you’re a bad influence.

If you go under 10, chances are you live under a rock and have no life… even more harsh.

Total the number of things in each list you’ve done.
No need to say which ones.
If people really want to know they will message you.

1. smoked.
2. consumed alcohol.
3. slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex.
4. slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex.
5. kissed someone of the same sex.
6. had sex.
7. had someone in your room other than family.
8. watched porn.
9. bought porn.
10. done drugs.
TOTAL: 10

1. taken painkillers
2. taken someone else’s prescription medicine.
3. lied to your parents.
4. lied to a friend.
5. snuck out of the house.
6. done something illegal.
7. cut yourself.
8. hurt someone.
9. wished someone to die.
10. seen someone die.
TOTAL: 8

1. missed curfew.
2. stayed out all night.
3. eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself.
4. been to a therapist.
5. been to rehab.
6. dyed your hair.
7. received a ticket.
8. been in an accident.
9. been to a club.
10. been to a bar.
TOTAL: 8

1. been to a wild party.
2. seen the Mardi Gras.
3. drank more than four beers in a night.
4. had a spring break in Florida.
5. sniffed anything.
6. wore black nail polish.
7. wore arm bands.
8. wore t-shirts with band names.
9. listened to rap.
10. own a 50 Cent CD.
TOTAL: 7

1. dressed gothic.
2. dressed prep.
3. dressed punk.
4. dressed grunge.
5. stole something.
6. been too drunk to remember anything.
7. blacked out.
8. fainted
9. had a crush on a neighbor.
10. had someone sneak into your room.
TOTAL: 9

1. snuck into someone else’s room.
2. had a crush on your best friend.
3. been to a concert.
4. dry-humped someone.
5. been called a slut.
6. called someone a slut.
7. installed speakers in your car.
8. broken a mirror.
9. showered at someone of the opposites sex’s house.
10. brushed your teeth with someone else’s toothbrush.
TOTAL: 7

1. consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper.
2. seen an R-rated movie in theater.
3. cruised the mall.
4. skipped school.
5. had surgery.
6. had an injury.
7. gone to court.
8. walked out of a restaraunt without paying/tipping.
9. caught something on fire.
10. lied about your age.
TOTAL: 6

1. owned/rented an apartment.
2. broke the law in the police’s presence.
3. cheated with someone.
4. got in trouble with the police.
5. talked to a stranger.
6. hugged a stranger.
7. kissed a stranger.
8. rode in the car with a stranger.
9. been harrassed.
10. been verbally harrassed.
TOTAL: 8

1. met face-to-face with someone you met online.
2. stayed online for 12 hours straight.
3. talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.
4. watched TV for 12 hours straight.
5. been to a fair.
6. been called a bad influence.
7. drink and drive.
8. prank-called someone.
9. laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex.
10. cheated on a test.
TOTAL: 8

OVER ALL TOTAL: 71

Tagged Schmagged...

2006-12-07T20:43:00.000-07:00

"According to the rules, each player of this game starts with the title "Six Weird Things About Me." People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own six weird things and state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose six people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says, 'You are tagged!' in their comments and tell them to read your blog!"

Here are six weird things about me that you might not know:

I have a drastically dangerous memory.
I work as an accountant but I studied history at university.
I love the smell of crude oil and when I drive by refineries I inhale deeply.
When I hear the word "moist" I, literally, gag.
I can't stand the feeling of cotton balls. They send the creepies down my spine and make me wince.
I have an OCD about bugging people with OCDs and I have no feelings of guilt about it.

So, this is MY playground and MY rules and I just tagged everyone who stopped by and took the time to read my post... I know who you are... believe me...

it's been ages since i've posted a blog...

2006-11-27T22:04:00.000-07:00

there are a number of reasons that i will not confess here save to say that things have been a tidge bit funky lately... my mind has been swirling with a myriad of issues and i am a bit unable to focus on anything... therefore, i create distance...
im sure i'll get things straight... some day...
in the meantime... stay tuned and please indulge me a few melancholy posts...

Last night...

2006-11-14T21:44:00.000-07:00

...I had a dream that I hopped a boat across the Great Sea to Ratchet. On the boat over, I met a bloke that I had done some questing with in the last week but then he shape-shifted into a girl just as the map was changing and I had never heard of their character before. I got to the town of Ratchet, rented the car to drive me and some friends to some odd village where this pub was located in order to meet & greet with members from my WoW guild. The car I was driving was an old blue convertible that looked better than it functioned. The fact that the roof wouldn't go up gave a spectacular view of the pixilated landscape but unfortunately that was the only bonus. While en route there began a torrential downpour of green and yellow fuzzy spiders. Fortunately, they didn't deal any damage and if you swatted them once they would die. We arrived at the pub and ran inside swatting the nasty creepies all the way. There were dead arachnid bodies all over the ground and I remember the feeling the crunchy bodies under my feet. As I was brushing the crawling menaces off my coat I had I had a feeling the anxiety of having to remove all those spiders out of the convertible once I returned back to the car. I thought to myself "I wish I could cast a spell that would do it for me instead of me having to touch these gross things!"

Now, do you think I've been playing too much WoW?

The Little Green Man Cometh... Or Beeneth...

2006-11-04T08:43:00.000-07:00

There is this interesting -at least to me- thing tha happens each year as the weather gets colder and the snow begins to slowly make its permanent residence on our lawns. People have packed up Halloween decorations and brought out the winter essentials like shovels, window ice scrapers and of course, winter wear! Over the last few years I have become increasingly aware of the funny phenomenon that seems to affect everyone at this time of year, but moreso, by the time this season ends.

Like most people out there, I've looked into my winter-wear bin (a Rubbermaid © container in my ftont closet) and discovered, once again(!!) the Little Green Man had come to visit some time b/w last spring and this fall. Lost were the pair of black mittens (you know, the ones with the 1/2 fingers cut off and the overflap that can go back and forth so you can have the best of both worlds and use your fingers when necessary (re: heys, change, etc) -these were extra special b/c they were not velcro fastened and scratchy, but had a magnet thta secured the flap! Quite ingenious. Alas, I digress.) Last year's black small scarf that I found perfect and not too bulky was also missing. Of course.

Off to the department store I went, along with the rest of the city, to find another winter-wear miracle. I managed to pick up two toques (one simple black knitted and the other black with skulls & crossbones(!!)) a black matching knitted scarf and two pairs of black mittens. Score.

On my way home that day I looked around. It seemed like everyone had matching scarves, toques and mittens. In all wonderful and trendy colours and styles of the season. I had to laugh. Not at the different sorts of fashions I saw but rather at the thought of how that changes in so little time. By the time spring arrives it is a definite rarity to see people with an entire matching sets of scarves, toques and mittens (one reason to buy items only in black!). Most people have some mismatched or unmarried pairs of something! Me included.

I've noted that it isn't just the sort of thing that plagues elementary school kids. We never change, even as adults. If you look into the gutter and into the melting mass of snowbanks you will indeed find more than one lost mitten! I'll guarantee it. I remember when I was a kid and my mum knitted my sister and I mittens with the string that would attach to one mitten, through the sleeve, down the other sleeve and attach itself to the mitten on the other side. Not a bad idea for adults either. To be perfectly honest, I am saddened when I see one lone mitten laying on the ground. Normally, I pick it up and put it on the nearest ledge. I know if I were to go back looking for a lost article, I would be happy to see someone decided to keep it from being traompled on by massively dirty feet. Anyway. My point -and I do have one-... each year we're faced with the task of purchasing new winter-wear items only to have them disappear on us by the following season... Maybe we all need to invest in those long strings, attach them to everything including toques and scarves. Watch, I'll start a new trend. I'll call it "K-6" or something like that.

Weird Things (tm) do happen in this world, the Little Green Man is an evil among us! Let's not get me started on the issue of summer and sunglasses and socks that go missing in the washing machine!

i luff hallowe'en

2006-10-30T05:41:00.000-07:00

the countdown is on to the bestest holiday EVERRRR...

well, most people have probably already gone to their halloween parties and such...
but im contemplating dressing up for work again!!
last year i received numerous Disapproving Stares (tm) from fuddyduddy business types. it was super great!

so here is the unveiling of the pic from saturday's halloween party...
i know i know... everyone wants to BE ME... ;)

any ideas?
i like to call the creation:

Fat Girl With A Wig

rofl... this is a bunch of bullshit

2006-10-29T09:30:00.000-07:00

When I grow up, I want to be a... firetruck!

2006-10-24T23:18:00.000-06:00

I've been banging my head against the proverbial blogging-stone... What has been going on lately?

Aside from my full-on for WoW and my obsession with Hallowe'en decor...

My mind has been filled with a myriad of thoughts that have me questioning where I have been seated in the vehicle that drives my own career. Have I been anywhere *near* the driver's seat?

I have to say, my headspace isn't that of inspiration or creativity when it comes to my job, lately. I find that as I get older and the more time that I can calculate me being at work vs. doing the things that I enjoy (including & excluding WoW - b/c let's face it, folks, its like... wow!!!) the more I realize how much time we *really* spend on ourselves. I've never let my career choice bother me. I never let my decision to pursue accounting be any sort of negative force in my life. I've always thought of accounting as a different sort of way of expressing creativity, solving problems and in the meantime, making you oodles of cash. And let's face it, for the things that I do, I get paid an extraordinaryly ridiculous sum of money. Oil & Gas Industry is just like that. Sometimes I equate it to just walking into the office and having money tossed at you... "Here, take this!" I'm not bragging, I'm just saying. You can't *blame* me for taking on a career that can afford you financial freedom. Let's face it. The history factories are NOT hiring, hobby-photographers are a dime-a-dozen and I have SEVEN MILLION people in the world to compete with for a pro-WoW position. I have never questioned any of that stuff. Until now.

My malcontent (yes, I will go so far as to temporarily categorize it as such) has me contemplating the validity of my own position in the company. Do I make a viable contribution? Am I just holding a space for someone who's one and only dream in life is to be a Production Accountant in an Oil & Gas company? Am I really and truly responsible for dashing the hopes and dreams of someone so eager to pursue volumes and gigajules and revenue (oh my)? What of my past experience? What has that brought me and furthermore, if I am dissatisfied isn't that my own fault and not my career path? I've chosen this path, haven't I? Suck it up and wipe your nose with your giant wad of cash, Vera! *rolls eyes* I realize there are people out there that LOVE to complain. Perhaps I am one of them. Heh. Either way. What the hell is my problem?

So yah... *this* is what has been on my mind lately. And these are the thoughts that have been plaguing me. Let's face the truth. My career choice was made for many reasons. I had been an accountant for quite some time already and truly enjoyed my work in another department. It was similar to what I am doing now, but different in many other ways. I held a senior position, and at my age, in oil & gas, that is quite something. You have to understand it is the "old boys club network" and there is nothing more disturbing to an "old boy" than to see a young female doing the same work he is doing for the same pay and in less time than it took him to get to where he is. My situation changed drastically, for reasons beyond my control. I still held the same position and the same responsibilities but it was under very stiffling conditions. In fact, my responsibilities increased in order to make up for qualifications that my new boss lacked. It was tremendously stressful. An opportunity arose after being in said position for apporximately 10 months. I jumped at the chance to leave and pursue it. And here is where I make my confessional. Pursuing this opportunity was a conscious decision to put my career on a path that I did NOT want to take nor planned on taking. Ever. I knew this (right now) is where I didn't want to be, but in the same breath I will say that I knew THERE (back then) is where I did not want to be either. Six of these vs. one half dozen of the other. Any SANE person would have chosen what I did, if given the same decision to make. Was it made under duress? Ehm, maybe. Was I conscious of that duress? Yes.

Now, there have been blessings! Please, don't get me wrong. It's not like a movie of the week drama called: "Boo-hoo, Look At The Poor Accountant: True Story". I work for *the most* amazing person in the entire world. My boss is positively incredible. I have gained invaluable skill and learned so much more than I ever would have imagined in the short (14 months) time that I have been at this position. I am also in a group with two of my closest work-mates who are also great mates outside of work!

I just feel pigeon-holed. I feel like what I do is so very difficult for me to have *any* passion towards and that it isn't something where I really desire to be better. I'll tell you why I strive to be a good, competant and knowledgable worker. It's b/c what you *should* do. Whatever you do, you should always strive to be good at it. It is a part of you for whatever time you are working on it. It doesn't have to *be* you, but it is a reflection of you. At least, that is how I was raised. Do your job and try to do it well.

So when I have looked long and hard at my career and the decisions I have made in order to put me here, I take full responsibility for those choices. And I have been tampering with the thought of leaving this position to pursue something that *does* interest me while staying on in the same industry and with the same company as well. I love the company for which I work!! They are a tremendous organization and I really believe they strive to be better and to just be... *more*. Which is also why I feel guilty for being in my position. I feel that maybe I am not holding up my end of the deal as part of this company. Anyway. One of the most difficult decisions was having to go to my boss to tell them that I might be pursuing other opportunities outside of the group. As I said before, my boss is wicked-awesome. Those words coming out of my mouth were quite unbelievable to me, but I did it! They asked me why and I was truthful. I just didn't think this was in my cards and that perhaps I'd have a better fit somewhere else in the organization. In their truly wicked-awesome way, they were 100% supportive and told me that they had no hesitation in recommending me to a group elsewhere if an opportunity presented itself.

So I'm attempting to change the direction of my career. We'll see how that goes, and I'll keep you updated on the status. I'm not sure if any of you out there are in the middle of such a "crisis". Gawd, how selfish of me. If I consider this a crisis, how pathetic is that? There are people who are going without a meal, a roof or something else and I'm whining that my pillage-&-rape-the-earth western energy company pays me too much money and boo-hoo me. Get some perspective, Vera!

Ok, I'll stop whining now.

Oh!

BUY RED!

just a thought

2006-10-14T20:55:00.000-06:00

my blog isn't even close to matching a "good" blog... i just write shit, talk smack and basically post a load of crap... some might not find it worthy to read. that's their choice. it really doesn't make a difference whether i post or what i post or if i'm editing my thoughts... and for those of you who have emailed me and asked me why i don't allow commets on my blog, i refer you to my title. if you can understand the connection then i commend you.

i enjoy reading a lot of different blogs and it's all good. some are funny, some are serious and some make me *really* think... i enjoy those!

and then... there are others that just make me stare blankly @ my monitor.

"did i just read that?"
"uhmmm...?"

i mean, this is a blackboard for everyone and anyone's thoughts. i dont deny others the right to express their thoughts and opinions, but here is mine...

the internet is full of a lot of crap blogs... a lot!! it saddens me to know this space isn't directed at something more useful... like porn...

Friday the 13th...

2006-10-13T06:21:00.000-06:00

i heard on the radio this morning (yah, yah... i know...) that only 1/3 of people like to be scared...

interesting...

personally, i LOVE to be scared!! maybe its that much wanted adrenaline rush afterwards... or that huge anticpation about what's lurking around the next corner... i love the nighttime and the things you can't see that make noises and make your skin crawl...

when i was a little kid... probably around 9ish... i was over @ my grandparents' house, my cousin was there and we were watching the teen-horror flick called "Fun House"... i remember him disappearing to the loo and then him not coming back for quite some time... suddenly every light in the house went out!! i screamed! i looked out of the window and saw the lights on the other houses and buildings were on and then i heard this maniacal laughter coming from the kitchen... i didn't want to move! i slowly slid out of the chair i was sitting in and hid behind it in the corner, in the dark, terrified... i heard someone walking around the living room, the figure being lit by the streetlights shining through the sheer curtains giving it a rather ethereal quality... the chair in front of me began to shake and rock back and forth and i screamed! i jumped up out of the corner and ran through the dining room and into the kitchen... i could hear someone behind me chasing me and i kept thinking "did he get my cousin too???" i ran through the kitchen and down the hall. the person chasing me had stopped. i went to the back door and tried to open it but it wouldn't budge. i couldn't see anything as i was fumbling with the doorhandle, yanking and pulling. NOTHING! it wouldn't move. there was a "cheater-door" from the landing into the side bathroom and i darted through there and opened the closest closet where my grandmum kept her linens and other extras. i crawled into the bottom of the closet, breathing heavy and almost sobbing but wishing i couldn't make a sound... then i heard his voice calling my name... my cousin!!! i was safe!! i ran out of the closet and followed the sound of his voice... it was coming from my grandmother's bedroom... i whispered loudly for him... he kept saying "come this waaaayyy"... very eerily and spookily but my first thought was that he was "ok" and we can get out of this!! i could see him shadowed in her dressing room and then i saw it! in his hands he held a meat cleaver! i screamed and ran back down the hall! WHAT THE HELL??? i ran to the back door again and i could him laughing crazily behind me... slowly stomping down the hallway... i pulled and pulled with all my might and FINALLY managed to unwedge the door... i tripped over the slipper he had shoved under the doorway to prevent me from managing to open it up... i ran! as fast as i could!! i ran down the path and across the street to my grandparent's restaurant... completely barefoot and ran right into my grandmum's arms and told her what my cousin had done to me... i was shaking and crying and very distraught! i had lived through my own real-life horror film...

ingredients:
a house with no parental control
access to a fuse box
horror film already in progress
one scared elementary aged child
one deranged sixteen year old child
grandmum's slipper

its a perfect recipe for shits and giggles...

Why Can't I Be A Goddess??... Blergh!

2006-10-10T07:03:00.000-06:00

Which Norse God or Goddess are you most like?
created with QuizFarm.com

And now in other news...

2006-10-04T18:29:00.000-06:00

Gaultier swaps Size O models for 'Size 20'

"Fashion designer Jean Paul Gaultier found his own way to comment on the 'size zero' debate - by putting a larger model down the catwalk to show off his clothes.

Dressed in a daring black corsetry, the plus-sized model dwarfed her fellow waif-like catwalk queens.

Clearly more of a size 20 than the controversial model Size 0, this voluptuous woman proved big is beautiful as she strutted down the runway at Gaultier's 30th anniversary show yesterday during fashion week in Paris."

- credit www.dailymail.co.uk -

the MOST disturbing commerical... everrrr!

2006-10-01T22:26:00.000-06:00

click here to watch

wouldn't it be nice if the world was cadbury
you could surf inside a chocolate tube
ride your board across the wave forever
get wiped out but never get a bruise

and if a shark came up
and tried to bite you
you could say im chocolate
i'd invite you
*wiggle bum*

wouldn't it be nice

make note of the bold & italicized words while watching commercial
it all comes together in the end

warning: rant ahead... slower moving vehicles keep right

2006-09-26T19:05:00.000-06:00

sorry... i just need to vent... if you aren't in the mood for a rant click on the "next blog" button in the top right hand corner, of use your handy bookmarks and move to the next available blog... :)

i've had the shit-shit shittiest day everrrrrrrr...
first off started out realizing "HOLY FUCK! i left my wallet which is just a little black leather thing with butterflies that holds a few cards (debt, credit, airmiles, driver's license ON MY DESK!!" now, albeit it was under this hideous green giant file folder and you'd have to sort of heave it up to see if there was anything under there and honestly it DOES look like WORK and a lot of WORK to do it and who knew it was actually there and who would decide to look anyway but they might have given the fact that NO ONE would have been staying ALL night at work GUARDING my belongings and perhaps by the time i got to work it would have been gone OR just the number could have been stolen and random and odd charges like long distance calls to ISTANBUL or a bulk order for ben wah balls so the entire commute into work i was like "please, gods of wallets and purses and credit cards and debit cards, please!!! let it be there!!!" (holy run-on sentence babble batman!)

well, that was about the ONLY thing that went right today. work sucked! and i dont mean suck as in "well, that kinda bites" i mean suck as in "WHAT THE FUCK BAD ASS KARMA PIPE HAVE I BEEN SMOKIN'?!" yah. nothing was working properly. reports that take overnight to generate came back "no records returned". well fucktard, i never ASKED you to return them! I asked you to give me the damn reports before i make monkey chow outta your innards and feed them to neightbour's babies! so yah, going through and realizing that over 50% of the reports that were requested didn't generate put me into a slough of a mood. blergh. this happens every month. every month we have a deadline that follows only TWO DAYS after government reports that are to be scheduled to be filed @ 5pm on said date. so, the best thing to do, in order assure you HAVE the right reports is to request them the day OF due date in HOPES that other companies are savvy on the whole "non-penalty" thing and upload their damn SAF/OAFs for partners to view... OHHHHH but NOOOOO! this would be asking TOOOO much. consequently the "no records returned" comes up for most properties... OH, until the FOLLOWING month when operators have finally decide to adhere to compliance. BASTARDS! now, that was only 08:30... what followed was a series of "why is that not allocating?!!?!" screams and growls. a lot of "omg, you're effin' KIDDING ME!?!" ... so thennnnn, in addition to it being revenue deadline tomorrow, i have to make it EXTRA early b/c i have an appointment scheduled for the afternoon that i cannot miss. instead of 15:00, i have a 12:00 deadline. and believe me, sometimes it is cutting it down to the last 10 minutes to have things completed for month end interface. now, if things were running smoothly, i wouldn't have as much issue with any of the above things... BUT NO. today had to be the day where all planets were misaligned.

at work i've inherited a few new properties from this bloke who resigned b/c (and i quote) "i've been working for 7 years now and i need a break" uhmmm.. HELLO? welcome to *real life*. no, im not envious. i think he's a crack-head. i just found that very odd. so, with that said, you can IMAGINE the state of the work that he has passed off to me. ho'kay (here's the earth... round... blue... ehm, sorry, distracted) i am an aquarius. we're known to be on the anal side of the perfectionist spectrum. now, me, notsomuch. i mean, i like things done 1) efficiently 2) simplified and 3) non-stupid!!! (ok yah, i use windows... SUE ME!!) i try to do my best at whatever i do, maybe that can be seen as perfectionism... anyway, i have no fuggin cloo why people who are stupid are allowed to set up things that *should* run from A through to B in a straight simple line. oh, no. with this, A had to go through calcutta and take a wrong turn at albuquerque to get to G!D! B. either way, it should NOT be done this way. it makes things so much more difficult but makes people doing said property feel more important b/c it is done this way. oh yes, i know this is why it was set up like this. ego. wtf??!?! accountants with ego. that's like Thor in a dress. wrong.

my mental state had been blackened. no. cremated. HA!

all day i kept hearing the french dude in the office next to me yelling into his phone and cursing en francais "tabernacle!" (this is the guy who left montreal 40 years ago but has not lost his accent and pronounces words appearance -- ah-per-ants)... i heard the woman two doors down from that answering her phone two octaves too high "OH HELLO!!!!! how are youuuuuu???" you know the type. the perpetual cheerleader.

i didn't get a chance to even go to the loo b/c the G!D! crap i had to keep re-running b/c of errors. which are VAGUE and completely USELESS. "Market Master has set up errors". well, genius, the market master can produce about five hundred ba-billion errors, which one should we look @ first. again, all lending toward the, now, dubbed Evil Accountant Ego (tm). to add insult to injury, anyone that could possibly help me (ie: team leaders/supervisors) were away at a MOUNTAIN RETREAT in KANANASKIS!!! wtf?? at deadline??? enought said.

with no time to go to the loo do you think i had time to have lunch? heh. i popped a mini-bag of microwave popcorn @ 14:30 and managed to choke that down. my brain just completely shut off after food was consumed. it just protested and wouldn't even focus. is it worth it? is this job worth everything that i have been feeling lately? i've been thinking a lot about a career move in the last few months. not that i want out of oil & gas. i just think i want out of accounting. there are a few things that i am VERY interested in within the oil and gas industry and i am beginning to pursue something in that direction. i just don't think... no, I KNOW that this is NOT what i want out of a career. it is something that i can *do*, it is something that has afforded me great opportunity but it isn't something that i want to define me. and before it does, i want to move on. i want it to be MY choice. there were several times today where i was on the brink of tears of frustration. i stopped myself. nah, it isn't worth it.

as i sit here now and realize what a completely shit day i had, i know it is only one among many damn good ones, i do know this. i count my blessings in knowing that today is *over*. i got a bulk of my work completed. the one POS property is still wonked out, but i have a time tomorrow morning to *really* concentrate on it and figure it out. my mind just wasn't in such a great space from the time i realized my wallet was missing. the GOOD NEWS is that it was where i left it. phew phew. nothing was taken. even the $32 that was stuffed into it was still there. all cards are present and accounted! no ben wahs on the way. i can begin to release the knot that has been pressing on my back all day and breathe...

so now i sit. listening to some very wonderful ulver and mellowing out... im thankful for my blessings... im thankful for my trials... i know it's just another day and it isn't the end of the world... i can just see it from here... ;)

I've got soul...

2006-09-26T06:53:00.000-06:00

You Are a Seeker Soul

You are on a quest for knowledge and life challenges.
You love to be curious and ask a ton of questions.
Since you know so much, you make for an interesting conversationalist.
Mentally alert, you can outwit almost anyone (and have fun doing it!).

Very introspective, you can be silently critical of others.
And your quiet nature makes it difficult for people to get to know you.
You see yourself as a philosopher, and you take everything philosophically.
Your main talent is expressing and communicating ideas.

Souls you are most compatible with: Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

I'm not worthy...

2006-09-26T06:44:00.002-06:00

Thanks to Karyn for this point to blogthings...

Your Life Is Worth...

$802,500

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

A Love Affair with Jack...

2006-09-21T21:15:00.000-06:00


For shits and giggles I went into the Christmas Store today!
They had their holiday music playing tunes like
"Here Comes Satan Claws" and
"Rudolph the Red-nosed and Alcoholic Reindeer".

I immediately went to the scarapharnelia.

The Hallowe'en decor.
The spiders.
The dead trees.
The ghouls and goblins.
It was like being in a candy store.
Hallowe'en is positively my most favouritest of all "holidays".
It is MY Christmas!


I throw a Hallowe'en party every year
and decorate my house with
webbing and spiders and pumpkins!  Oh my!
This year, on display, they had
THE COVETED Hallowe'en item.
A dark and tattered black tree covered from
trunk to tip with black fuzzy spiders.  I giggled like a 3 year old and
laced my fingers together mischievously,
"You will be mine.  Oh yes, you will be mine!"
I patted the tree tenderly and blew kisses to a few spiders.


Only 37 more sleeps until my Hallowe'en party and 41 sleeps
until Hallowe'en itself!!
Wheeeee!  I mean...
WooooOOOoooo!!

Oh the weather outside is frightful!

2006-09-21T21:04:00.000-06:00

And I find it so delightful!

When your favourite season approaches
there seems to be something inside of you
that makes your step a little more springy, your smile a bit
wider and your overall mood just... BETTER.  I am feeling the winter
coming quickly.  Maybe it is speed at which fall was thrust upon us and
that I can smell the snow wanting to fall or maybe it is because I now
feel cozy wearing long-sleeves and full-length pants.  I love putting on
my toque and feeling the north wind whipping around me.  It is very
comforting and very much like home.

I ran into some busmates the other day.  I haven't seen them in a while
b/c I have been getting in later to downtown and consequently I have
been leaving later too.  I was happy to see them as I was dressed in my
rain coat and toque and hopped in front of them
and flashed them a huge smile.
"Oh THERE she is!!", one exclaimed.  "Look at the smile on her
face while everyone around her is freezing!"

I laughed.  Ahhh, my reputation is still intact.

"Oh, don't be such a grumbly bear!" I said.
"Doesn't this weather just make you feel *alive*?!?!"

I got a few Disapproving Stares (tm).  Heh.  Yay me!
Contrary to my own popular opinion of myself, I sometimes care what
other people think.  And as long as they're thinking that I'm Odd (tm),
I'm pretty much alright with that. ;)

My NW

2006-09-19T18:04:00.000-06:00

My Nohari Window

International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

2006-09-19T07:38:00.000-06:00

Avast, matey!!

Set sails for Tortuga!! And hope we won't be dining in Davy Jones' Locker tonight!

I dunno, I think it should be
International DRESS Like A Pirate Day!!
YUM!!!

If you want to speak as cool as I do... go here, savvy?

Bad Pirate! Naughty Pirate!

2006-09-17T17:16:00.000-06:00

What did the Pirate say to Louis Riel?

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggg Metis!

My JW

2006-09-16T23:36:00.000-06:00

I did this a while back, but totally forgot the address so I didn't post it, so I made another one!!
I wish they had "flakey" as a choice.
Feel free to fill it out, based on what you know about me.

My Johari Window

rule #89: if you have nothing nice to say, talk about the weather...

2006-09-15T19:42:00.000-06:00

there are a lot of cities that make the same claim that calgary does:

"if you don't like the weather, just wait 5 minutes"

in all fairness, in calgary, this is MOST CERTAINLY true.

in one day (not today) it went from clear sunny skies, to cloudy and windy, to rain, to hail, to sleet, to snow and back to sunshine again. our weather can change by up to +/-20°C in a couple of hours. we are home to the infamous chinook wind that brings in a beautiful arch of clouds over the city and of course, the infamous "chinook headache".

and today...
it SNOWED!
how lovely is that?!?!?! i am currently giddy and gleeful. all my goth friends will disown me.
i'm a fan of cold weather. i'm a lover of dreary weather. i am smiling madly while people are grumbling about the cold and miserable effects of nature.
i am SO VERY ready for winter right now. damn summer heat. die. oh summer weather, it is SO AWN!